Why do I have Long Hair?
Selfie of the Author, Don Bobbitt
Why should my Hair be long?
Hey Don, Why does someone your age have Long Hair?
You would not believe how many times, over the years, I have been asked this question.
One significant thing that I have learned though is that when you don't conform to "that other persons vision of normality" you often end up a source of personal confusion for them.
I have been questioned by family members, friends, casual acquaintances, and even co-workers over the past, and, I finally turned the selection of an answer into a game. A game for my own amusement, of course.
Depending on the person, and how well I knew them, and the circumstances at the moment, I would usually tailor my answer for the biggest laugh, or on occasion, just to see how easily the other person would be confused by my response.
Reasons for having Long Hair
I feel that my personal hygiene, and my personal taste in clothes, among other things, are my business, and when questioned as to my choices, I take umbridge and have to control myself anyway, so here are some of my favorite responses:
- I can't afford a Haircut!
- I am retired, and I can't afford a Haircut!
- I live on Social Security and I can't afford a Haircut!
- I am a Child of the 60's and long hair is a symbol of my rebellious nature!
- I am part Cherokee and it helps me stay in touch with my Heritage!
- I am on medications that cause my hair to grow fast!
- I grow my hair long to sell for wigs!
- I am a member of a religious sect that requires long hair on the head and a shaved crotch! Wanna See?
- I found that I can lift heavier weights at the Gym, if my hair is long, than when it is short.
- I keep my hair long to Piss Off bald people!
- I sell hair accessories to Beauty Salons, and it helps me get more sales!
- I am actually bald, and this is a wig!
- Do I ask you why you are so UGLY?
- Do I ask you why you have Halitosis?
These have all been good fun over the years, for different reasons, and most people realize from my response, or lack of one that they back off and leave me alone. And, I have found that the persistent ones must have some kind of personal problem that forces them to be so rude, so I really don't fell bad about my flippant responses to them.
Why long Hair? ..... Really!
The real reason why I have long hair is a multi-faceted thing, and to most of you, probably pretty boring.
First of all, in High School, in the early 60's, I actually had the Beach Boys look. I had a FlatTop haircut, with bleached blond hair in front. Why? Well, I was a teenager, and I had to fit the mold, just like everyone else.
I went into the Navy for a few years, got out, found a good wife, and went to work.
I had the long hair, down to the shoulders for a number of years, when it was fashionable, and I cut it short in later years, again as fashion demanded.
Good Hair Cutting Kit by Wahl
Being Ill and going through CHEMO
Then, I caught a rare disease, called Wegner's in the early 90's. It was a near fatal disease for me, and I went through a long period of experimental treatments and drugs, to keep me alive.
The disease pretty much wiped my Kidneys out, before the Doctors could stop it's progression, and after I was stable, I still had the disease to be dealt with.
For one of the treatments I went through, the Doctors put me through several months of Chemo-therapy, on the premise that it would possibly improve my kidney function.
At that time, my wife and I both went to a hairdresser. You know, one of those, "sit down and have a glass of wine while I take care of you" types of places.
We tipped well, and he was pretty good at his job, and when I was ill, he was very upset, along with us.
Anyway, the Doctors were very adamant that I was going to lose all of my hair from these treatments, so I decided to have a little fun with the whole CHEMO experience.
I mean, if I was going to lose my hair, let's have some fun, so I went to my hairdresser, the first week, and told him to color my hair jet black.
He, of course, was appalled, but after a couple of glasses of wine he saw the humor, and said OK.
It was great! I was seeing different doctors a couple of times a week, for different treatments, so one time I would show up with Black hair, the next time I was a Blond, and the next I was a flaming redhead. In between, I might have a full tight perm, or long straight hair.
It cost a little extra, but I enjoyed the shocked looks I was getting, and anyway, it was all going to fall out at any time, right?
Well, guess what? I am that one in a hundred, or whatever the statistics are, that doesn't lose his hair when undergoing Chemo-Therapy. Not a single noticeable hair after six weeks.
The Doctor laughed and told me how lucky I was.
I went to my hairdresser, and told him the good news, and I told him to "get the color and curls out, and make my hair look like it did before the Chemo.
He gave me an odd look, that turned into a broad grin and then degraded into un-controllable laughter.
He walked over, poured two glasses of wine, handed me one and told me to sit down, which I did.
He then explained to me that, it wasn't his fault, and it was actually mine, because no on abuses their hair like I had done over the past few weeks, and expects to escape without hair damage.
I frowned and said; Hair Damage?
He laughed, and explained that I had Fried my hair, and to fix it, the best solution was to just shave my head, and let it all grow back, new, and undamaged.
I thought for a few minutes, and accepting my fate, I grabbed his bottle of Chardonnay, sat down and let him shave my head.
Good Hair Cutting Scissors
I had a Hair Epiphany
As my hair grew back, it again became the subject of many questions and conversations with friends, and even strangers. The interesting thing was, as I explained about Chemo-Therapy and all, they really seemed to care less about my health than my hair situation.
So, I just kept letting it grow, and then, one day, I was able to pull it back int a Ponytail.
I suddenly realized that I had not been to a hairdresser or barber in over six months. And the thought of planning for and going to get a haircut just seemed like a nuisance to me, rather than a necessary service.
So I quit getting my hair cut!
It was an easy thing to do.
I have straight hair anyway, so maintenance entails washing my hair when I am in the shower, and then combing it and pulling it into a Ponytail when I get out of the shower.
Once or twice a year, my wife will grab a pair of scissors, and cut off the Dead Ends, whatever they are.
That is the sum of my hair care and maintenance program. No more being told my hair looks shaggy, or my sideburns are too long, or I need a razor cut, or whatever. It grows of it's own volition, and I just don't worry about it.
Another Advantage of Long Hair!
There have been some other advantages of having long hair, in a world of short haired people.
First of all, it was easy for people to tell which person I was in a crowd or a large meeting. I was the guy with the Ponytail.
As I aged, I was the OLD guy with the Ponytail.
Another thing of interest is that I worked in a high-tech business. On top of that, I spent the last dozen years or so in the R&D section of our business. Internally, the R&D world is a very competitive area of a business, and pretty much everyone is young and highly educated.
Oh, and universally, the people are non-conformist, to say it nicely.
I found that being older than most of them wasn't as much of a hinderance in communicating with my co-workers over those years, and this was often due to my nonconformist look.
Strange but true, I am afraid. I actually fit in, by not looking like "and Old Man".
Why Long ..... Now!
Now, I'm retired and living the good life, as they say. So, why don't I just cut the damned stuff?
Well, I invite you to pick one of the reasons you see listed above, because, you see;
- I really don't care what other people think of me much less my hair
- I am inherently lazy and I love not having to go to a barber.
- Even though my hair might be a little thinner, it still fits in a Ponytail.
- Being one of those people who still has hair, I seem to be a source of jealousy with many of my retired peers. (Which is a lot of fun.)
- As long as I don't have to shave my head, the better, but I would before I did such things as; a Comb-Over, a Wig, Implants, or other such silly egoist moves.
Besides, I don't know but I hear that, with all of the fashionable baldies running around today, they have a lot of nice head polishing products on the market. HMMMMMMM! Maybe!
I am actually just having too much fun living my life, even if it is with socially disturbing long hair! And, before you ask anything else.
I need to stop here and brush my long Hair!! Have a Nice Day!
How to Scissor Cut Mens Hair
My Rights and Your Rights
Don Bobbitt's Authors Page
- Amazon.com: Donald W Bobbitt: Published Books
Click here to see Don Bobbitt's Authors Page for a list of all of his published books in both Paperback and Kindle formats.
© 2010 Don Bobbitt
More by this Author
This story is about a visit to a backwoods Redneck Bar in the South. This story describes a typical bar on a lonely dirt road that survives on serving real working class people. It is a great read, and funny.
A satirical view of Snowbirds and how they act, from a Southerners perspective as observed over the years. Giving a back-handed explanation that most people who vacation from the North would stay there and not come...
Even though many RV campers try to prepare for the expected weather, often they end up in surprising and Cold conditions. This information will help any camper keep warmer while traveling and enjoy their trip more.