Why don’t you stare at my beautiful boobs?

Disclaimers: Read this at your own risks. This is solely for giggles and smiles! It is not intended to courage one’s behavior one way or the other. If you are offended, I apologize in advance.

Please, humor me! Stare at my beautiful boobs. I have gained more than thirty pounds over the four years since I work for this company. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for having this job and it is quite enjoyable. My two jobs within the company require me to sit all day long on my behind. Lack of exercise is one of the reasons why I have gained so much! I have no one else to blame but myself.

One day, I went to the food place and get myself a Starbuck coffee. The cashier, bless her heart, asked,” How are you feeling?” In the meantime, it just hit me that she thought I was expecting, Yes, she thought I was having a baby! I am serious! Believe me this happen to me so often that I don’t even get offended. So I smiled back and replied,” I am not pregnant. I am just FAT!” That was about two years ago. In the back of my mine, I made that mistake once and I will never make that mistake again! What was I thinking?

In the meantime, I am always a thick person. I wish I have that hourglass figure. Someone did not give that to me and it wasn’t God, I hope! Over the years, my self- image would be comparable to a picture of the “frog” with a big belly, or the “incredible hulk”. I kid you not! I am so afraid of wearing a buttoned down shirt. I can just picture myself, talking in front of my peers or the company of the CEO, when my buttons started to pop! I would be fired or died of embarrassment, LOL. When I shared that with my co-workers, they laughed so hard that they were rolling on the floor! Imagine I am more less about a hundred and sixty pounds and 5’5”. All the human beings I ran into would not describe me as this fat woman.

Just recently, I was talking to one of the male co-worker. I couldn’t help it to notice that he kept looking at my stomach, not my beautiful boobs! I thought, OMG! Here we go again! I know that he did not mean to because this guy is a respectful person. I know the blouse I wore was not too flattering that day. My age is not a secret to my friends. I am not in the age of bearing a child. I am more of in the group of AARP! I had to refrain myself from saying it loud,” I am not pregnant!” I don’t think I was offended. I didn’t even think that he was rude. It bothers me a little bit when I think….why don’t you stare at my beautiful boobs instead of my stomach? That is not to encourage anyone’s unwelcomed behavior either. Hope you enjoy my fun blog!

 

Comments 89 comments

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

This hub is so funny! We are what we are but I know I get conscious of weight gain when I think its too much. I have been on the prednisone roller coaster for years. Right now I am a size 10 and that's not too bad for a 63 year old lady in my opinion. I did better when I was able to exercise but I am too winded to do that now. Anyway, I keep many sizes of clothing just in case! Great hub.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Thanks for enjoying my humor, Pamela:) Glad that you are not offended. You are doing much better than me, LOL. I think I am up to size 12 at age 50. Thanks for leaving me the comment.


Michael 6 years ago

You crack me up!!!! I love it and still laughing. You still look great and your sense of humor is great!!!!!!


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Michael,it is my survival skill to have a sense of humor! HubPages gave me so much joy! I have to say that having a friend like you help me so much! Thank you for being my loyal friend:)


tony0724 profile image

tony0724 6 years ago from san diego calif

I still think you're cute !


_cheryl_ profile image

_cheryl_ 6 years ago from California

You're too funny! I enjoyed reading your entertaining perspective of yourself. I love when a person can be real about how they feel and not take themselves so seriously! =)


carolina muscle profile image

carolina muscle 6 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

Hahaha.... I wish more women felt that way about looking at their boobs. Actually, I usually start at the eyes, tho.

Great post!


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Thanks, Tony for stopping by. I am glad you enjoy reading it.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Hi Cheryl, glad you like my sense of humor:)Sometomes you just cannot take it too seriously in life. Thanks for visiting.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

carolina muscle,great call! Thanks for visiting my hub.Glad you stopped by:)


Sonja 6 years ago

Oh P...you are so beautiful! Maybe you should start wearing some thing more revealing to draw eyes THERE instead! LOL :)


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Sonja, you are too funny:) No, I am not the kind who likes to draw attentions to herself. I am the low key one:)


zoglio express profile image

zoglio express 6 years ago from Middle Tennessee, USA

Hey that was really funny and sooo true. Women will always tell a man, "Hey bud my eyes are up here, not on my chest, until one day they are staring at our bulging bellies. Then we actually want the attention. Then our self image takes a nose dive. In the past I have had many people ask me when I was due, and man, I was crushed. At 52, and 5' 4" I am a big boned woman so a size 12 would look hot on me. But, to other women that is too big sooo its all in how you perceive yourself. To look at life with humor as you do, is a gift. Enjoy your gift. I had fun reading. Judy


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

If I see you- I promise to stare higher! Thanks Tim-Tim!


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Isn't it true, Judy? You and I are probably look similar in size and we are not even closed to big! Whatever! Life is too short and I don't take everything so seriously! Thanks for stopping by.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Micky, hope you enjoy my sense of humor instead of staring at my beautiful boobs! Thanks for visiting. Hope that made you laugh:)


RedSelassie profile image

RedSelassie 6 years ago

I found this hilarious--I look forward to reading more of your hubs--Feel free to peruse my work as well--bless.


ralwus 6 years ago

can't be any worse than my aging wife. Now she has nice boobs. You're a funny lady you know? I would rub yer tummy for luck.


Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 6 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

Sometimes if the woman covers up too much, guys complain. I wear scarves in cold weather here and almost evry day someone is dying for me to take it off cos I have a long neck. What is it about my neck that's so amazing anyway. It hold up my head. Guys also like to look at the shirt that is opened at the top, the more buttons undone the more they like. Guys will say it to my face sometimes. My boss would never say it though, he just says I look "good".

I like that you are refreshingly honest, and you make some good points here! Hey, your foto looks great, tim-tim. Don't worry about it. Next time someone asks politely "How are you feeling" - just try a casual. "I'm fine - how are you today?" and have them give you their life story! I'm sure your boobs are just fine! : )


Anath profile image

Anath 6 years ago

LOL, I like a woman who knows what she wants :) I seem to have the opposite problem; not that I complain, no no no. I enjoy their stares but every now and again I wouldn't mind them looking at my eyes!


rprcarz50 profile image

rprcarz50 6 years ago

From a man's point of view, I probably should not LOL. Just kidding . Made me laugh too! Good stuff !

Thank You ! a2z50


Darlene Sabella profile image

Darlene Sabella 6 years ago from Hello, my name is Toast and Jam, I live in the forest with my dog named Sam ...

Well, I am heavy for the first time in my life, and also a memeber of AARP, I think people that are heavy make jokes to hide their pain. Yes, your hub was funny and really cute, but it hides your true self. I also notice that when you gain weight you become invisable...like while you are walking in the store. Men always looked at me, now they don't. I like that, I like being invisable, okay I know I am getting to serious. Darn, I must stop here. Great job my friend.


hubby7 profile image

hubby7 6 years ago from Chicago

Hi Tim-Tim. I enjoyed reading your hub. I have to admit that you have a very attractive photo. On a more serious note: It is up to us whether we choose to be healthy and fit or unfit and unhealthy. If you choose to become fit, stop by my hub and put into practice what I suggest in my hubs. What I suggest doesn't require a lot of time, no equipment, no gym membership, and you can perform it just about wherever and whenever you want to. I'm 55 and can still run on the trend mill for an hour, do over 100 push ups and 100 crunches. Again, the choice is ours: Are we going to grow older and unhealthy or older and healthy. On a more upbeat note, Tim-Tim, it's good to be posting to you again! Again, beautiful photo. I have a soft spot--and a fascination--for Asian women. I married one.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

Do sagging boobs count? I have to laugh because I was always so flat chested it was a joke. Now that I'm 'old' I find that my bra size has increased but only because they are longer and when you push them up into the bra well duh - there's more in there! I get more notice of my boobs than I ever did when I was young and somehow that just is sick! I had a repair guy absolutely drooling looking at my chest one day and I was thinking to myself 'if he knew what these really looked like once the bra came off, I don't think he'd give a rip!' Or maybe he'd throw up! Cute hub....and I wouldn't worry either - if they are looking at something, I guess that's a compliment, eh?


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

RedSelassie, I am glad that you found it funny:)Thanks for visiting. I sure would check your hubs out! I just came back from a funny gethering with Asian ladies and I found so many comments on my hub. I am so happy that people really read my work:)


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Cheeky Girl, you must be this tall girl with nice features:) I can only wish that I am taller ans slimmer, LOL. You are right about me being honest. I am very blunt sometimes! Thanks for visiting:)


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Anath, I am glad that you are blessed and I would not be complaining, only if I have beautiful boobs! Thanks for visiting:)Glad you enjoyed it.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

rprcarz50, I am so glad that you like my sense of humor!Thakns for visiting:)


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Darlene Sabella, I know what you mean. I have been a low key person but it seems like people notice me no matter what, I think they like my personality and that is what I want, not anything else. Don't worry, it is their loss if they don't look at you. You sure have a lot more to offer than just the way you look. Thanks for visiting:)


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

bby7, thanks for the compliment. I am sure that your wife is beautiful! I know it is a choice to be healthy and slim but I am now at a point that I don't care much how I look. When I do, I will start running again! Thanks, I will check out your hub soon. Thanks for stopping by.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

akirchner, you are too funny:) Mine was the same way too. I know, TMI(too much information). Glad that you enjoy my hub Come visit again!


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Charles, I almost forgot about you! Your comment came up as a spam! Hmmm...you must be naughty. Actually, if you rub my tummy, I think I would be offended, LOL. On second thought, if rubbing my tummy bringing you luck, sure, hit the lotto and call me:)


Ten Blogger profile image

Ten Blogger 6 years ago

He he very funny and very honest ! Actually, preganant woman do go through this feeling when they really do not want to disclose to the whole world that they are indeed pregnant. I understand you quite well. "Why don’t you stare at my beautiful boobs?" says it all. Very interesting.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Ten Blogger, thanks. Great point on the pregnant women. Thank you for stopping by.


sabrebIade profile image

sabrebIade 6 years ago from Pennsylvania

Tim Tim I think you look stunning. Love the Hub though!


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Thanks,sabrebIade. Glad you enjoy my hub!


rosecobra profile image

rosecobra 6 years ago

I know exactly what your talking about. I enjoyed the way you handled it..lol


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

rosecobra, thank you for your comment. Please visit my hubs again.


Alya rose profile image

Alya rose 6 years ago from From beyond the reeds

lol,i love your sense of humor tim-tim,i'm not the lightest calorie in the box being an 11.I'm absolutley positive that you are a beautiful woman.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Alya rose,glad you like my sense of humor:)Thanks for the compliment.


samboiam profile image

samboiam 6 years ago from Texas

tim-tim, an absolutely delightful read. I am still chuckling. So much I would like to say but will keep it family friendly. Thanks for brightening my day.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Glad you enjoy reading my hub,samboiam.


jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 6 years ago from Philippines

Ha ha ha! Tim-tim, you are so funny!!! I like your sense of humor.

Thanks for the laugh!


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Jill, glad you enjoy my sense of humor! Thanks for visiting:)


WritingWorldwide profile image

WritingWorldwide 6 years ago from Denmark

Ouch! I almost made the mistake of commenting on a woman's belly once, suddenly realizing there was too much risk involved, thinking to myself "Hey, what if she's not pregnant, and it's just that all the fat goes straight to her stomach?" Haha.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

WritingWorldwide, glad that you did not make that mistake. It is too bad that most women gain it there, on the belly. Thanks for stopping by:)


sophs 6 years ago

Haha ohhhh this did make me laugh. You're funny tim-tim. You don't need to be skinny to be beautiful, keep smiling tim-tim! Look forward to reading more :)


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

sophs, thank you for your support! Glad that I made you laugh:)


Terry B. Davis profile image

Terry B. Davis 6 years ago

Tim-tim, got a kick out of your hub. I have worked out all my life, stayed in shape for my job. But at my current age losing weight is impossible. I am still in good shape, just got a beer belly without the beer. I run 2 miles a day, 20 to 22 mins. But I now think, hell with everyone else, fat people are happy people, I am very happy.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Terry, glad to meet you! Happy that you enjoy my sense of humor:) Wow! You run 2 miles a day, better than me sitting on my behind all day long, LOL. Glad that you are happy! That is all it matters!Thank you for visiting my hub and become my fan!


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

This is my opinion as your best friend. Just ignore all the negative talk, keep thinking positive. I think you are still beautiful with your age right now. The important thing is you have beautiful heart. Physical appearance is number two. Thanks


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

So true, Prasetio! Focus on the positive. Thanks for the compliment:) What counts is the inner beauty!


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

I came back again to stare,

But again- I can't find them there!


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Michael, you are funny:)


Lynda Gary profile image

Lynda Gary 6 years ago

tim-tim,

You're 5'5" and weigh 160 -- and you call yourself "Fat" ????? Seriously???? Come on, girlfriend! That's smaller than "average," and far from being fat. I should know: I am also 5'5 + a smidge and I weigh 157. Granted, I would like to drop a few of these menopausal pounds, but in the meantime, I DO NOT look "fat". As my son says, I am now "fluffy." Bet you are, too. ;)


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Lynda, thanks for the compliment:) I guess I should say I am plump, LOL. Thanks for reading my hub.


The original Eman profile image

The original Eman 6 years ago from london

This was very enjoyable to read i must say lol it gave me a good insight to women boobs loved it lool. check out my stuff and let me know what you think http://hubpages.com/literature/Nothing-but-a-melod

http://hubpages.com/literature/Figure-Of-Speech


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

The original Eman,thank you so much for visiting my hub. I sure will check out yours!


keywc58 profile image

keywc58 6 years ago

Answer this for me. Do women want men to look at their boobs are not? Maybe you want us too look at them when you get older and not when you are young.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

keywc58, I think you missed my point. Either way, I do prefer to have men and women look into my inner beauty, not judge me from the outside. Thank you for visiting.


Seabastian profile image

Seabastian 6 years ago from Raleigh

Very funny.I think I will just look at women's eyes first from now on.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Good idea,Seabastian! Thanks for visiting:)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

How could I resist such an alluring title? Thank you for a fine Hub.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Thanks James for stopping by. Of course I had to come up with a title to catch your eyes! Glad to hear from you!


magnoliazz profile image

magnoliazz 6 years ago from Wisconsin

Hi Tim Tim...very few women are as honest and open as you are about their weight. Everyone has problems with weight as they age. I have found that just walking everyday helps keep the weight off, and you do not even have to sweat. Also walking up and down a flight of steps 5 times a day will help a lot too....you don't do it all at once so it does not even feel like exercise.

I have back problems so I have to be very careful about weight, so I weigh myself everyday. If I notice I am gaining...I start eating more fruits and veggies and less of everything else.

Last of all, I avoid buying any diet aids, because if they really worked, Oprah would be taking them and she would be thin! There are no short cuts when it comes to weight loss, we still have to do it the old fashioned way.

You are not that overweight to begin with, so don't take it to heart too much. A hundred years ago, men would have thought you were just right. They liked women with curves back then! And only the wealthy could afford enough food to get plump...so being heavy was also a status symbol.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

magnoliazz, thank you so much for visiting my hub! I used to walk so much every day and lost a lot of weight. You are right about that. I wish I am up for it. I go through different phases. At my present, I don't want to go by myself. It is hard to have someone to go with you in a consistance basis. I appreciate your comment!


lang58 profile image

lang58 6 years ago

Very funny but at least you know how to laugh at life's short falls. I lost most of my hair and my wife Susan said she's glad because we save money and time on hair cuts :)

Thanks for your humor.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

lang58, thank you so much for visiting my hub. I am glad that you like my sense of humor. I lost a lot of my hair too and I am afraid that I am not as light as you on that one. Glad that you can laugh with your wife about that.


keywc58 profile image

keywc58 6 years ago

Why don't we stop kidding ourselves. Outer beauty is important to all of us. If it was not, we would not spend so much money and time trying to keep it as long as we can. Women want men to notice them for their outer beauty and men want women to notice them for their outer beauty. If no one noticed you for your outer beauty, your inner beauty would not matter anyway, because they would not care what type of inner beauty you have. Pad those boobs up, get out and walk and keep yourself looking good for as long as you can. Stop being lazy and making excuses.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

keywc58,thank you for your comment. It is true that everyone notice the surface before the internal beauty but I think you missed my point here. Thank you for visiting my hub.


mdlawyer profile image

mdlawyer 6 years ago

tim-tim, it is really hilarious! Your sense of humour is disarming. The title of the hub is a catcher!


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Thank you,mdlawyer. I am a funny gal if you know me:)Yes, the title is a catcher. Thanks for visiting. I need to catch up on my reading and writing.


Deborah Demander profile image

Deborah Demander 6 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

Great hub. Very funny. I know the sentiment exactly.

Namaste.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Deborah, glad you like my sense of humor! Sometimes, we just have to laugh it off, LOL.


Manna in the wild profile image

Manna in the wild 6 years ago from Australia

Well done. Very funny. It's good to laugh about that kind of thing.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Thanks,Manna in the wild. What is life without a sense of humor?


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 6 years ago from Minnesota

timtim-I too have quite the bulge in the belly that I didn't have a few years ago. I have definitely felt like people have sometimes wondered if I am pregnant. I love when you told someone no I'm just fat. Seriously, I thought by now people knew that is a loaded question. I hope that person got really embarrassed. I bet they will never ask that question again.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Minnetonka Twin,thank you for reading my hub. Glad that you like my sense of humor! I think that is a way to live your life. Don't take everything so seriously, LOL. BTW, no one even think I weigh 160.I am not closed to fat:)


Timmy(B) profile image

Timmy(B) 6 years ago from United Kingdom

Glad to be a follower. This really made me laugh, an excellent hub.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Timmy. glad you like my sense of humor! Thank you for reading my hub!


Les Trois Chenes profile image

Les Trois Chenes 5 years ago from Videix, Limousin, South West France

I hesitated to read this, fearing it wouldn't be 'nice', but I'm so glad that my curiosity got the better of me! So funny, and so true! I too am getting older and my skinny youth is disapearing under a nice layer of fat. I've trained my husband to refer to my shape as 'voluptuous' and reminded him that I am a growing asset - he has more wife now than he did 20 years ago!!


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 5 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Wow! You are so funny, Les Trois Chenes! I enjoy having you here. Thank you so much for laughing with me on this one:)


Kamalesh050 profile image

Kamalesh050 5 years ago from Sahaganj, Dist. Hooghly, West Bengal, India

I like your great sense of humor. You have written the hub in frank and easy manner and so beautifully ! I have enjoyed and laughed a lot. Keep writing.

Best Wishes.

Kamalesh


nifty@50 profile image

nifty@50 5 years ago

Entertaining hub! Our own insecurities sometimes play tricks on us,in general, people notice less about us than we think. I'm sure there are plenty of busty females that wish men stared at their stomachs.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 5 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

nifty@50, thank you for you comment. It is funny how people see themselves and how other see them in a different way.


Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK

I really enjoyed this. Good for you for approaching it in such a humorous way.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 4 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Thanks, Peanutritious. I am so glad that you enjoy reading my hub!


Harishprasad profile image

Harishprasad 2 years ago from India

Tim Tim, your humor is just hilarious. We Indians are traditionally habitual of calling someone our age as brother, an adult as uncle or auntie ( aunt ) and aged people as baba or dada ( grandpa) or mataji ( akin to grandma). It so happens sometimes that if you are having a streak of grey hair, you are mistakenly called as uncle by someone even younger than you. At that time, you are left cursing the silver in your hair. It also happens sometimes that a younger lady is mistakenly called as auntie (aunt ) and instantly she is all rage and the caller has to apologize not once but repeatedly. No doubt, such episodes are unsavory but the humor attached to them cannot be ignored. You are creating real mirth in the dry environment of present times and this is the beauty of this very sweet hub. It has a great lesson for all to seek pleasure and humor in such insignificant-looking encounters. I myself loved and enjoyed reading this hub. Thank you very much.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 2 years ago from Normal, Illinois Author

Thank you for visiting my hub, Harishprasad. Most of the time, we just need a good laugh!

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