Poem About Feet

Crocs - I should have worn these
Crocs - I should have worn these

A Poem About Feet


"Will you dance?"

"No, I'm sorry I don't dance,

I've a bunion like an onion

and some corns that give me jip,

This floor is hard,

These boards look waxed,

I'm scared that I might slip.

Besides, I have a blister

and I think it's going to burst,

When it comes to feet,

You know I really am accused.

I have got verrucas

the like of which would make you pale,

There's very little foot-wise

from which I do not ail.

Hey there!

Where are you going?

Oh no!

What did I say?

Don't let my ingrown toenails

get in romance's way.

Oh dear, looks like I've blown it,

It seems I just can't win it.

Just when I think I've found someone,

I put my big feet in it!


More by this Author


Comments 67 comments

Jools99 profile image

Jools99 3 years ago from North-East UK Author

Maria, I am now 50 plus 1 day but had a blast yesterday! Great weekend so far, loads of fun. I fear poetry's days are numbered on this site, such a shame!


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 3 years ago from North-East UK Author

CripSp, many thanks for viewong and commenting - it still makes me chuckle - thankfully, my feet are not really as described here!


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 3 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

" I've a bunion like an onion..."

Yeah, welcome to "50"' girlfriend! You are so darned funny...

Loved this, Voted UP and FAB!


CrisSp profile image

CrisSp 3 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

Very clever! Chuckle and more chuckle! Thanks to Sunshine625 (Linda) for sharing this on FB. Oh, and I've heard, it's your birthday. So, happy birthday!

Love from the sky~


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 3 years ago from North-East UK Author

Thanks Linda! And thanks for reading my poetry (again!)


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

Happy Birthday Jools!!! May your next 50 years be just as awesome as your first 50!!!


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

ImKarn23, yes indeed! Many thanks for your comment.


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

travmaj, we have all had issues at some time other with out feet. Thanks so much for your comment :o)


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Rich, thanks so much :o), it does gets bits and bobs of traffic but poetry is on its way out of HP I reckon :o(


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Debby glad you liked it, many thanks for your comment.


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Martie - thanks for your comment, advice heeded :o)


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Daisy, many thanks - feet are certainly an unusual subject for poetry :o)


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 4 years ago

LOL...gotta love someone who leads with BOTH feet! Ha-ha-ha-larious, thank you..


travmaj profile image

travmaj 4 years ago from australia

Jools - I truly identify with the words in your poem - a great write and humorous, made me laugh. Ahhh to be young - from pointed toe stilettos to flat lace up horrors -


rcrumple profile image

rcrumple 4 years ago from Kentucky

Julie - I loved this! It's funny as ... and extremely witty! Hope this helps to get the score up some! Really is much better than most of the stuff that's out there! Great Job!


Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 4 years ago

Jools ~ Loved this conversation between the feet, sounding like middle-ages or seniors showing their oats, and how they two-stepped and found they parted ways at the end of the story. Blessings, Debby


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

LOL! This was about putting your big foot in. Don't do it again, jools! Lol!


Daisy Mariposa profile image

Daisy Mariposa 4 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

Julie,

I came back to read your poem a second time. I love poetry about unusual subjects. Well done!


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Beeter to laugh at feet than scream at them - could lead to so many awkward moments in shoe shops :o) Thanks for your repeat visit Dana, I appreciate it.


DanaTeresa profile image

DanaTeresa 4 years ago from Ohio

came back to read this again because it is awesome! Makes me giggle and sqirm at the same time. fantastic!


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Jen, many thanks for your comment - feet are to be laughed at!


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

My feet need a regular treat :o) Thanks for the comment.


jenbeach21 profile image

jenbeach21 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Thanks for the laugh. I am not a foot person but I found this funny.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

The feet can't be beat with this treat! :)


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

fpherj48, glad it tickled your funny bone :o), many thanks for your comment.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Jools99 ..how cute..how sweet...how wiggly and funny!! Love your tribute to FEET!! UP & funny!!


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Annie, many thanks for your great comment. Yes, this is a great (albeit fictional) deterrent for avoiding an unwanted encounter.


Fennelseed profile image

Fennelseed 4 years ago from Australia

Yes, laughing too!!! Beautifully funny and a useful ploy should you want to deter someone from romantic advances, but otherwise, yes this is really putting your foot in your mouth!!! Love your poetry!! My votes and best wishes to you Jools and sharing.


KDuBarry03 4 years ago

haha! Reminds me of hobbits! They're real afterall! haha


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Daisy - glad I got your little toes on the move! I have lovely feet now, it was not always so in my youth :o(

Dana, yes, share it with your mam, she will read it and sigh knowingly!

Lesley - glad I tickled your funny bone today.

Keith - I used to work with a girl who had huge feet, they were more like flippers than feet, weird.


KDuBarry03 4 years ago

Hilarious! I have a friend who's 5'8" and has size 16 men shoes. Isn't that insane??


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 4 years ago from United Kingdom

Fabulous - so funny!

Voting up!


DanaTeresa profile image

DanaTeresa 4 years ago from Ohio

Absolutely love this. I have an odd aversion to feet. Except those of kids and one of my friends who has beautiful feet. I love how you celebrated all the comically gross foot ailments in such a fun way. I will definitely share this with my mother on her Facebook. She always grossed me out as a kid by showing me her corny toes! :)


Daisy Mariposa profile image

Daisy Mariposa 4 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

Julie,

My toes began wiggling as I read this. They enjoyed your poem as much as I did.


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Audrey, written a long time ago when I was still a stilletoed twenty-something who partied hard on Saturday nights and soaked my poor disfigured hooves on a Sunday morning....ah, happy days!


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

Isn't this piece a hoot (a "foot")???


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Thanks Linda. They are aching today actually, maybe I should write another poem :o)


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I'm back for another laugh at the funny feet!:)


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

tillsontitan, thanks for your kind comment, Yup,my high heel wearing days are over :o)


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York

No toe fluff here! This was truly one we can all relate too (at least everyone in my generation). Loved it and voted up and awesome.


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Gus - thanks for dropping by and leaving your comment, I appreciate it!

copywriter31 - many thanks for your kind comment.


copywriter31 profile image

copywriter31 4 years ago from Port Neches

Very creative and well-written!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 4 years ago from USA

Howdy Jools99 - Not quite footloose and fancy-free, but fun to read. Maybe it is OK to call it a toe-tapper.

Gus -)))


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Kelley - glad this raised a smile.

Klarawieck - glad you enjoyed it!

Thank you both for commenting.


klarawieck 4 years ago

You've made me smile! Thank you!


kelleyward 4 years ago

ha ha I'm LOL. What a cute idea for a poem. Very much enjoyed! Voted up and shared! Take care, Kelley


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Rahul, I am glad it made you smile, thanks for commenting!


rahul0324 profile image

rahul0324 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

LOL! funny feet! loved the poem :)


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

LastBabyBoomer, thanks so much for your lovely comment!


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Audrey, I wrote this a long time ago and it was once published in a women's magazine - my only publishing success ever! I decided to 're-pimp' it here on HP. By the way, it is completely fictional, I have lovely feet! Thanks so much for dropping by and commenting, I appreciate it.


TheLastBabyBoomer profile image

TheLastBabyBoomer 4 years ago from Surprise Arizona

Very cute. I enjoyed it, and so did my feet!


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

Jools, I just had to chuckle at this! What a funny piece!


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Victoria, thanks for your comment and the votes etc, much appreciated.


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

So funny and adorable. Great rhythm. Voted up and others!


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Tallulah, thanks! Glad I was able to brighten your day :)


Talullah profile image

Talullah 4 years ago from SW France

Made me laugh out loud!


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Sunshine and Albertjs -thanks for your comments; feet are as good a poetry subject as other to me, I write about anything (or sometimes nothing :) )


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK Author

Carl and Tammy, thanks so much for your kind comments, I thought this little hub was gathering toe fluff and was long forgotten....aw, that's cheered me right up knowing you both found it.


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

Whew.. that is tough. I don't like people looking at my feet, touching them, or sitting next to them. I could never deal with someone who had a foot fetish. :) Cute poem. Voting up!


CarltheCritic1291 profile image

CarltheCritic1291 4 years ago

Haha! Jools99 you are awesome, great work! Voted Up, Funny and Awesome


albertsj profile image

albertsj 4 years ago from Pittsfield, Ma

This is kind of brilliant. I mean who elso writes poetry about feet? : ) Voted up & funny.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Funny tribute poem for our feet!!:)


Ladybird33 profile image

Ladybird33 5 years ago from Georgia USA

Love this! You have a talent, enjoy it! We are!!!


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK Author

I think I may be a 'brand new' Jools; thank you for your kind comments.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

...great wit .... great writing .......are you the same of Jools of 'old' - or are you a new Jools with a new look - either way I could instantly recognize your inimitable style - and so nice to see and hear from you again - hope you've had a safe happy and productive summer - lake erie time 11:05am ontario canada


InspiredHippy profile image

InspiredHippy 5 years ago from Old Town, California

~laughing~ Good read, thanks!

Be blessed,

Becky Jo aka Inspired Hippy


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 5 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

Very cute! My friend has Fred Flinstone feet, this I will share with her! Thank you for the chuckle!

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working