Witty Sayings, Witty People
Aristotle once said "Wit is educated insolence."
That may be true, but these witty sayings come from witty people who are far from insolent. In fact, most of them are wise and admirable. The witty people quoted below range from elder statesmen to comediennes. Look for witty sayings from these witty people. What they have to say may surprise you.
Take the quiz at the end to test what you have learned.
"Knowing what you can not do is more important than knowing what you can do. In fact, that's good taste."
Lucille Ball 1911–1989.
American actress and producer. Lucille Ball was widely regarded as the best female comedian of her time. What many people may not know is that she was a true beauty, and an early member of the movie studio "star" system that reached its peak in the 1940s.
"A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject."
Winston Churchill 1874–1965.
British statesman, soldier, and author. Best known as a member of the British house of commons, Churchill was also an American. Churchill’s mother was American heiress Jennie Jerome. Another lesser-known fact about Churchill is that he engineered a daring escape form a Boer prison camp in 1899.
"History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives."
Abba Eban 1915–2002.
Israeli statesman. Eban received the Israel prize for lifetime achievement in 2001. He was an accomplished author, diplomat, soldier, and a strongly influential member of the United Nations.
"Faced with having to change our views or prove that there is no need to do so, most of us immediately get busy on the proof."
J.K. Galbraith 1908-2006.
Canadian-born economist, teacher and diplomat. Galbraith was able to make economics relevant to modern crises. He concentrated his attention on American economics, consistently providing warnings about the dangers of greedy corporations and the price of military power.
"The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you."
Kin Hubbard 1868-1930.
American cartoonist. Hubbard’s comic strip "Abe Martin of Brown County" ran in national newspapers from 1904-1930. His humor tended toward the down to earth and practical observations on human nature.
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
Ann Landers 1918-2002.
American columnist. It is probably already well known that Ann Landers was the pen name of Eppie Lederer. Eppie Lederer and Pauline Phillips were twin sisters. Pauline Phillips wrote under the pen name of Abigail VanBuren, popularly known as “Dear Abby.” Lesser known is the fact that Eppie Lederer was the wife of Jules Lederer, who was the founder of Budget Rent-A-Car.
"No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens."
Abraham Lincoln 1809-1865.
16th U.S. president. Lincoln’s image is instantly recognizable, as are many of his words. His mother was Nancy Hanks, an interesting historical figure in her own right.
"Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood."
H. L. Mencken 1880–1956.
American editor, author, and critic. Mencken wrote for the Baltimore Sun newspaper. He reached his peak of fame in the 1920s, making sharp observations on the hypocrisy of humankind. He seemed to have an emphasis on the sadness of the human condition. He also has a famous quote about flowers
"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde."
Dolly Parton b.1946.
American singer. Originally a country singer, Parton also is also successful as an actress, producer, and entrepreneur. She is striking for her intelligence, monogamy, and versatile talents.
"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important."
Bertrand Russell 1872–1970.
British philosopher, mathematician, and social reformer. Russell was a teacher of mathematics at Cambridge, and the author of Principa Mathematica . He was also the winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature, 1950.
"Isn’t it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?"
Kelvin Throop, ??
Fictional character created by RAJ Phillips. Throop's observations appear frequently in quote collections on the web. Interesting that a fictional character can be so widely quoted, isn’t it?
"Few things are harder to put up with than a good example."
Mark Twain 1835-1910.
American author. Mark Twain is the pen name of Samuel Clemens. Frequently misquoted. Twain was born in a year when Halley’s comet was visible from Earth, and died in a year when Halley’s comet was visible from Earth. Perhaps these phenomena are related.
"A narcissist is someone better looking than you are."
Gore Vidal b. 1925.
American novelist and playwright. Famous for writing several US historical novels that are actually literate, Gore is also well known for his sophistication and intelligence. Unfortunately, his intellect has not served him well in the political arena. Gore has run unsuccessfully for both congress and senate. He and Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy had the same stepfather.
"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."
Oscar Wilde 1854–1900.
Irish author. Most of Wilde’s stage plays poke fun at the foibles of the British upper/middle classes of the late 19th century. Their humor is more difficult for younger people to appreciate because it is based on etiquette and social conventions of that time.Nonetheless, there have been several movie adaptations of his works.
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