Wooden People More Prone to Depression
"I've been called terrible names," Woody told this reporter. "You have no idea how it affects me." Woody speaks for many of his people with regard to the prejudice they face on a daily basis. Woody (last name withheld) states that he regularly confronts verbal abuse. He believes this bullying is a prime reason why people of wood succumb to depression at a far higher rate than metal or plastic people.
"People have said I am unemotional, which couldn't be further from the truth," Woody stated.
"You do seem kind of wooden," I prompted."A bit stiff."
"That's exactly what I'm talking about," he responded."It's those kinds of remarks that really cut deep."
"Kind of like a saw?" I suggested.
"Yes. Those words cut like a saw," Woody said. I snickered, but in a totally objective manner.
Woody deals with several health issues, as do many of his kind. He has sawdust which is the wooden version of dandruff. "It's impossible to find a good sawdust shampoo," Woody explained. "Dandruff shampoo is everywhere. Only the best for regular people, but manufacturers don't care about people of wood."
Woody is not the only one who deals with health issues. Wooden people are beset by a laundry list of ailments not experienced by other people, such as knotholes, termite infestation, cracking, splitting, dull finish, moisture sensitivity which can result in warping, and dry rot. "These are problems not faced by people of steel or plastic," he lamented.
"Metal people do seem to be much hardier than wooden ones," I agreed.
"Well, they're not plagued by the same troubles as we are," Woody stated, somewhat offended. "They have it easy. So do the plastic ones."
On a daily basis, Woody must be vigilant against predators such as the aforementioned termites, along with woodpeckers, wood borers, and urinating dogs.
"The world is a very dangerous place for people like me," Woody said. "Just look at all the weapons out there that specifically target my people."
He is making reference to shavers, saws, drills, punches, lathes, buffers, sanders, and the like.
"They're everywhere," Woody said, with a shake of his head.
There are currently no laws protecting people of wood in this country. The world is slow to recognize their rights. In fact, they have none.
"It's just something we live with," Woody commented.
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