Wounded

Source


so easily wounded I

walk about marked

a bulls eye painted on my ego


so eager and open I

sharpen your lead

so you might make your point


so supportive I

will pilaster your desires

and plaster over mine


so completely receptive I

absorb your pain

discarded begin to rot


I must surely die bled out

from a thousand pricks of pain

no one to blame but I



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Comments 52 comments

Tony DeLorger profile image

Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

Love it RB, Succinct and to the heart of it. How we all bleed.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

I think we were simultaneously commenting on each other's hubs, hee hee.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Ego's so flail and yet so bold. Great writing.


Tony DeLorger profile image

Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

Got to love it, RB


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Optimism, being eternally out-boxing by self-doubt.


Hear Me profile image

Hear Me 5 years ago from Somewhere in Florida

Great writing! It really hits home!


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

A thousand poisoned laced promises lent and forgotten....awesome and heart pulling Randy.;)


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hi mckbird! Yea a hard animal to tame, the ego.

That puts a funny visual in my head AH

Greetings Hear Me!

Great comment MA


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Good morning RB. I have been laughing at myself at the horrible beating I am allowing my ego to take. So, yes hard to tame.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

That is how vulnerable when we get when we love completely.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

No one to blame but yourself. Too many try to blame others for their mistakes and their actions. I really like this, how you changed it up at the end from the "I" in the beginning to the "I" at the end in the last stanza. I love this part "so eager and open I

sharpen your lead

so you might make your point" and you absord his pain, the things we do for love, yet still it is our own faults to blame. we cant help how we feel.

good work, good poem.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Morning McB! The boastful self important part of ego is pretty easy to chuck out, but that other part that gets its feelings hurt is so much harder to detach from.

Hi cardisa. And one loves the world? Trouble.

Hi Nikki. I do believe we have to take credit for our own feelings. No one can make us feel anything. It is our choice to feel. I wish I could "unfeel" sometimes though.

Thanks for noticing the construction of this, as I did put thought into it.


Claudia Schönfeld 5 years ago

neatly penned randy and a good step if we realize what we do and what we shouldn't do...i don't have the "helper syndrome" myself but someone very close to me and it's difficult for both..good write


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

The "helper syndrome" is that what I have? I guess I do.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

yea me too. the best we can do there is hide our feelings or try to deny them, but that never ends well. you should always be true to yourself and to others.


Anna :o] 5 years ago

Superb.

Anna :o]


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks Anna.... like your grin.


bbnix profile image

bbnix 5 years ago from Southern California

But then, some of us are monster's assembled of overly-oscillating patchworks of emotions and beautifully written notions of love, and hopefully, like Nikki and you Randy, blaming no one but themselves...

You do absorb much of my pain, Randy, with your kindness and beautiful writing. Thank you so much for the incredible, multi-faceted, and caring, majesty of a person that you are...


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hi BB. What a lovely comment. Thank you.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

Vulnerability always asks for that extra dagger thrust; hoping that it won't hurt so much this time.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Whooooo, I ask for it? Gonna have to have a good hard look at that idea.


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

This one stings. The "so eager and open I sharpen your lead" line has me thinking that Ian might be on to something with his comment.

Had to look up "pilaster". Maybe I'm rusty. Anyway, good to be back; I'll return soon.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Delighted I made you look up a word for a change Doug :)


Pat Hatt 5 years ago

Nicely done, yeah most people always look for a scape goat, something or someone to blame because "oh it can't be my fault"

Great change taking the thousand little jabs and no one to blame but I.


brian 5 years ago

powerful write..the first two stanzas opening with a bang and the rest filling in the feeling further...putting the bulls eye on ourselves and sharpening the pencils for another to prick us...yikes...all too real...


jtw 5 years ago

came here from #oneshotwednesday, wasn't sure what to expect but very glad i did! i really like this one, your style is after my own heart. i will check out some more of your work!

:)


anthony desmond 5 years ago

Great poem. pure and holds truth. love the end!


Laura, NH, USA 5 years ago

a beautiful poem...it is hard to be open...yet to be closed, I believe would be even more painful...somehow we must find the balance of loving others and loving ourselves enough to say no.


lori 5 years ago

I so enjoy your poems. I could feel the frustration and pain as I read.

"bled out from a thousand pricks of pain" great line :)


Kim Nelson 5 years ago

I feel the pain and angst that comes with a relationship out of balance. You perfectly painted the picture.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hi Pat, at some point in life we all have to realize no one can "make" us feel anything. Thanks for commenting.

Thanks Brian. I'm glad you approve.

Greetings JTW. I will be checking yours out soon as well. Happy One Shot!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Hi Anthony. Thanks for the read. I'm glad you liked the end.

I'm sorry Laura what's this word "no"? Is it english or... ;)

Thanks for visiting me again Lori. I'll make my rounds later tonight.

@Kim "Relationship out of balance," and it took me a whole poem to say that, lol!


Belinda 5 years ago

Wonderful! And oh, to be human and able to empathize and feel pain. A gift/curse.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Interesting comment Belinda. And so true, or why be born eh?


Randall Weiss 5 years ago

I like the emotional progression you've created.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thank you Randall :)


Gay  5 years ago

Unique voice in this. Love the three line stanzas as a love song and love hurt song. Touches the heart of all women. Well done.


ayala 5 years ago

Powerful and great.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks for coming by Gay.

Thank you Ayala.


Mama Zen 5 years ago

I think that I have that same bulls eye on my ego!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Damn Mama Zen... maybe we should try turpentine?


Roxy 5 years ago

putting others before yourself can be so painful....even in little ways. Love the expression.


C Rose 5 years ago

Nice write - especially enjoyed the word play of the second stanza. ~ Rose


Life in a Poem 5 years ago

its a great poem,i wrote this poem on that subject, i called it, Out of Line


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks for coming by to comment Roxy.

Hi Rose! That seems to be the favorite :)

Life I will have to check that out!


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

This is familiar territory for me.

"so completely receptive I

absorb your pain

discarded begin to rot"

Like a wet towel I felt wrung out from the pain I endured in LOVING..it was painful.. bravo, this pricked my heart.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Oh Saddle I'm sorry. I don't really want anyone to relate to this. Sometimes we give, we love, give some more and at the end of the day have nothing but empty coffers to show for it. Hugs to you.


Ponti 5 years ago

This is really beautiful, and meaningful. Even the way you have constructed the words on the white of your blog adds to the overall feeling. Your words hit home to me.


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thank you for the lovely comment Ponti.


ExoticHippieQueen 5 years ago

Brief and to the point, get it? Lol. Awesome concepts set to words! Up and awesome!


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean Author

Thanks EHQ. Yep you are quite the punster :P


ExoticHippieQueen 5 years ago

Bahahahahaha...............

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