Woza Moya Chapter Two: Mahogany

This is the second installment of Woza Moya, (come spirit). Hiram has made a decision but is not getting the confirmation he thinks he should have regarding it. The strange girl is occupying more of his thoughts than he cares to admit, producing feelings he would rather not have.

Why is he so drawn to her? Read and find out why.

Letter

Dear Elder Smarts,

So much happened yesterday that I don’t know where to begin. I got your letter and pictures today in the mail. The pictures came just in time to present at Family Home Evening. Boy have you got skinny! I thought the people in South Africa love to feed the missionaries? All that muscle gone—what a waste. Just kidding.

I decided that I will send off my mission papers early. I figure I will be close to finishing my mission by the time you get home. I wonder if I will get my mission papers back within a week or so like you did.

Anyway, after church yesterday, well, during church yesterday I went for a walk to the pond. Now before you get your name tag all twisted, I went to meditate about sending off my papers so early. When I got to the lake, I saw this girl fall in the pond, and I went in after her. I was so scared I did not know what to do. I took her to the church, and she got a blessing and was sent to the hospital. Last I heard she was awake but in a daze. She wouldn’t speak for no one.

Keep her in your prayers if you can remember. I am fine, though. I will catch up with you in the next letter.

Sincerely,

Hiram Smarts

P.S. No one knows her name.

by Judit Klein
by Judit Klein

Patience

Hiram ends his dictation of the letter and commands the phone to have it packaged for mail. Not being one for writing, he could appreciate the new app for his phone to print out letters ready to send through snail mail. Hib is in an area of South Africa where he can only get physical mail, and Hiram could not wait to communicate to his big brother about the girl.

“I am actually doing this,” he says to himself out loud. “I am going to serve a mission and leave early.” In an attempt to make the decision real, Hiram repeats the same thing twice. “I am actually doing this. I am Going to serve a mission and leave early.”

Nothing. No feeling of peace. No extra reassurance from God that his decision is the correct one. What is wrong? Is something wrong? Why is he not having the same experience Hib had when he decided? Hiram had pushed Hib into their pool right before Hib decided to give up two football scholarships to serve his mission. Florida State was one of the options.

“You were so angry that you wanted to kill me, man,” he says out loud with a pleasant smile on his face thinking back. “You got me talking to myself too, Hib.”

“God,” he turns his attention back to the troubling issue of his mission papers. “I don’t know what is going on. I decided to do as the stake president suggests and turn in my papers early, and I get no confirmation from you.”

“What am I supposed to be doing? Do you want me to serve you on a mission or not? I need to feel something.” Nothing.

“Okay, I will be patient. All I got is time, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

Paras Relan
Paras Relan | Source

Feelings

The words came from his mouth, but his heart is not sure of what to think. Hib taught Hiram that he could get confirmation from God about his prayers if he asked with faith and real intent to do something with the answer. A mission is the best decision for him since he wasn’t doing anything else with his life. There are no athletic or academic scholarships waiting for him. Not that he is comparing himself to Hib, but his brother had to give up his dream temporarily to serve the Lord. Hiram’s goal is to follow Hib’s example. Why is it so hard to get an answer this time to a prayer? Up to that point, everything had come like clockwork.

Hiram graduated school early and save up most of his mission costs. This girl, though. As much as he tries to stop her from occupying his thoughts, each time a free moment opens in his mind she pops into it! Her beauty haunted him in a way that made him uncomfortable. Never at any time had he felt so drawn to a person, not even Hib, his closest friend.

“Wow, why is the girl in my head?” It is not like the answer escapes him. The girl is in his head because of his attraction to her. The problem he is having with the situation is his determination to serve a mission can not be hampered by an infatuation with a girl! Thoughts, romantic thoughts hide away under the surface of his skull as he thinks back to how delicately she felt in his arms. She made him feel ten times stronger that what he is.

“Yeah, and I am pretty strong,” he says aloud as if he was conversant with himself. “I am going on a mission, though. I can lock my heart. I bet she doesn’t even believe in the church.” It makes sense to him. Anything that distracts him away from his mission is of the devil, right?

The image of her face grabs his attention, and a peaceful sensation fills his heart. “I don’t know what that is about, but I cannot be distracted.” Saying all that to himself was well and good, but that did not explain why he’s standing outside the hospital deciding to go in or not. He spent the entire time there dictating his letter and praying—not caring if people could see him or not. No one is paying attention anyway.

She, the girl had not spoken to anyone just like Hiram mentioned to Hib in the letter. Hiram is not comfortable going into the room with her because he is not sure how to act or what to say. “Hi, Hiram again. I think you are so hot, the way you looked all sickly and ghostly when I was carrying you to the church,” he says slapping his face in embarrassment. “Yeah, I say that to her she is gonna think I am a real freak! I cannot let it distract me!

“Should I?” A warm feeling slowly builds in his core—the type of feeling he was looking for in regards to sending in his mission papers early.

Karyn Locke
Karyn Locke | Source

Sherriff Smart

Enigma is a small town in Berrien County in the great state of Georgia. There is one officer in the town, the sheriff, Hiram’s mother. Sheriff Smart has some deputies, but they do not get pay. No one ever did anything in Enigma. Everybody went to church, the same church. Enigma did not have enough people to have its own schools. All kids go to Centerville, the county seat for school. Having all the kids in the county go to the same High School made it possible for them to have good AA football and basketball teams. She's been sheriff for five years with an abandoned train caboose as her office, seriously.

Sheriff Smart is with one of her “deputies” attempting to coax a statement out of the mute girl when Hiram arrives at the hospital room door. The hospital is actually a large clinic. For a small town, the clinic is extraordinarily supplied and staffed. With so many farmers in the Enigma, doctors are needed more than police. Since there are so many professional types--doctors, lawyers, and such--living in town, health services boom inordinately--an entire town of soccer moms. Enigma Medical cannot deliver babies, though. Centerville is where that happens.

When Sherriff Smart suggested taking the girl to Watson General Hospital in Centerville, she freaked out. It is the only time she spoke saying, “No, the boy has to protect me!”

Hiram is not sure she meant him. Standing at the door watching his mom sooth the girl while trying to get her to talk about what happened to her only brings frustration. The girl told him of her attacker as Hiram ran with her in his arms in the pouring rain. “He tried to kill me!”

Where did she come from? What is her name? Where is this stranger that attempted to kill her? Why does Hiram feel so drawn to her? Fearing to go into the room that he will upset her, he regards her staring off into the wall as if there was some interesting object there as the Sheriff reassures her.

“Sweetheart,” soothes Sheriff. “You take all the time you need. We aren’t going anywhere.”

“You think we need to call the county in Sister Smart,” says her deputy, Henry Marconi.

“I am on duty. Call me Sheriff, Hank.”

“Sheriff, right.”

“We will call county tomorrow. I don’t want to get her going again." Sheriff raises shoulders and shivers purposely trying to communicate her displeasure at having the girl wailing in fear. " Plus, the road to Centerville has washed out again. No one will navigate that unless it is a life or death issue. We will probably be stuck here until it can drain off—specially since another storm‘s coming our way tonight.”

Hiram clears his throat with enough courage to walk into the room finally. The girl’s eyes wander toward Hiram. “He tried to kill me,” she says.

“What, Hiram,” Sheriff asks in disbelief pointing to her son. The girl stares into Hiram’s surprised eyes as she slowly shakes her head from side to side answer the Sheriff’s question negatively.

“He tried to kill me, and he is going to do it again. He will kill all of us.” The girl’s eyes glisten as a single tear falls.

“Want in the world? Sheriff?” Deputy Hank puzzles. “I think we need to call county today.”

“We can call, but they won’t come until tomorrow. They are not much more equipped than we are.” The sheriff smiles at Hank. “I know; you don’t have to stay up here with her. I know you need to get to that woman of yours and them kids. Go on. Me and Hiram will be okay here. I will let you know if I need your help deputy.”

Hank nods. As he leaves, he pats Hiram on the back, who stands with his eyes fixed on the girl’s eyes. There is a connection as the girl’s face twitches a smile at Hiram.

“Will you tell us your name, honey,” Sheriff asks again. The girl nods her head not taking her eyes off of Hiram. For some reason, Hiram cannot stop looking into her eyes. Instantly a rush of memory flashes into his mind!

“Mom, I know her.”

“What?”

“This is Mahogany.”

Instantly Sheriff gasps in horror. “The Wilcox Mahogany?” Even as she asked the question, she could see it in the face of the girl who now regarded the sheriff.

“He gonna find me and kill me and you too now,” Mahogany speaks quietly. Looking again to Hiram, she adds pointing with her eyes, “He can protect us.”

“Sweetheart. Hiram is a kid like you. I will keep you safe. First, we need to….”

“No, him,” she interrupts. “I remember him; he must protect me. He promised.”

“Hiram, what’s going on? This is getting more strange.”

“Mom, she looks like she is still out of it. Maybe the doc needs to come check her again. She sounds like a little kid.” It’s true. Mahogany is in shock still and communicating as if she lost a few brain cells.

“I will go get Brandon back in here,” Sheriff says standing to get Dr. Ray. “Well, Mahogany being back and all makes this a miracle and tragedy rolled up in one!” Thunder claps sending Mahogany into a screaming fit as the lights flicker, threatening to go out. Hiram instinctively rushes to her side and embraces her, quickly calming her.

“Hiram?” Sheriff raises her brow. “What is this weird thing with you and the missing girl?”

“Mom, please, get Brother Ray. I will explain it all, but she needs to rest. She needs something to sleep.”

“I am counting on you telling me,” Sheriff puzzles. “She has been gone for seven years. I am definitely calling county in the morning.”

Sheriff Smarts wonders what is going on, but Hiram knows. Mahogany was his first kiss. A kiss before she disappeared out of his life. Right after he promised her never to let anything happen to her. A promise he now intends to keep!

Rate this story and its writing style! Explain in comments, please?

See results without voting

Thanks for Reading!

The next installment is coming soon. Please, leave a comment on how you think the story is developing and any improvement in style of voice you think would benefit the story. Next, we will find out how Mahogany and Hiram know each other and the circumstances of his promise to protect her. Woza Moya Ongcwele Chapter One: Woman at the Lake is the previous chapter.

© 2016 Rodric Johnson

More by this Author


6 comments

annart profile image

annart 4 weeks ago from SW England

This is better than the first one; you've polished things up. Just a few things:

a typo I think 'them mail' should be 'the mail' shouldn't it?

'I got them just in time to present at Family Home Evening using them.' This doesn't quite make sense to me; maybe you rewrote and forget to delete one bit?

'I decided that I will send off my mission papers early. I figure I will be close to finishing my mission by the time you get home. I wonder if I will get my mission papers back within a week or so like you did.' - I think it would be a good idea to have fewer 'missions' here; I'm sure you could think of a way to get round the repetition.

'ten times stronger that what he is.' - She made him feel ten times stronger than (not 'that') he (no need for the 'what') was (keep the past tense).

Hope you don't mind me picking up on those few things. They don't, however, detract from the read and from the good standard of writing.

Do you proof-read at least twice? I do, but I still miss things!

Great story; you've got me intrigued!

Ann


Rodric29 profile image

Rodric29 4 weeks ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thanks Ann. I noticed the mistakes; I made them on purpose. It is not very clear I see, though. Hiram is supposed to be a 17-year-old body who is not concerned with grammar and such, but I think I should change it. If it distracts away from the story, then it is bad for business.

Hiram writes the way he talks, but that is not been established in the story yet because the first installment is on another webpage: http://wordscantsaytoomuch.blogspot.com/p/woza-moy... I did not include the link because each time I due the hub is considered substandard.

My intentions were good, but it did not work out. I did not give all of the background of the story yet. I did not reveal where they live until way down in the story. I did not develop this as well as I should have. Maybe I put the letter in the wrong place. I did not establish that the letter is the only way he can communicate with his brother. Because the first story is not on Hubpages, all that follows is confusing.

Thanks for helping me see this.


Rodric29 profile image

Rodric29 4 weeks ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

I made the changes Ann. I so appreciate you help! I am in the process of writing a memoir. I self-published it a year ago but took it off the market for editing and restructuring. It was a mess. I have the first edition of it, and it reads too much like a journal. My new version is based on an editing consult I received. Your review of my hub reminded me of that, and I appreciate the feedback. The good thing about this place is that I can change my work instantly.

I have been doing so much writing I have cut down on reading. Thanks again, Ann.


BlossomSB profile image

BlossomSB 4 weeks ago from Victoria, Australia

I enjoyed reading this, it moves along and holds the attention. I'll look forward to the next instalment.


Rodric29 profile image

Rodric29 4 weeks ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thanks BlossomSB. I appreciate your encouragement and interest. The next one is coming soon.


annart profile image

annart 4 weeks ago from SW England

You're welcome. If you want to make it deliberate you have to somehow establish that in the story with the speech. I know what you mean but, as you say, if you don't explain then it distracts from the reading.

Still well done though!

Ann

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Rodric29 profile image

    Rodric Johnson (Rodric29)188 Followers
    148 Articles

    Rodric is a writer of both fiction and nonfiction. His passion is creating new stories and seeing where they take him.



    Click to Rate This Article
    working