Writing for a purpose

Writing for a purpose

I started writing exactly one year ago as a result of my father's tragic death in April 2009 which was indicated as a suicide by the coroners office and on his death certificate. He was killed by a speeding train at the local train station. This tragedy affected me in many ways. My dad meant the world to me and he was someone I could go to anytime I needed for just about anything. He was always very supportive of my family and myself and he spent many Sunday afternoons with us and spent most of the time bonding with Matthew. He was very influential and very caring and he always treated Matty with love and respect and always gave him the time he deserved to open up and share his feelings. My dad knew how to reach our son and I was always so appreciative of that.

As I look back on my dad's life I am very proud of him as he accomplished many great things and he was very devoted to mom, my sisters and I. A part of me also feels sad because my dad had a tough life but he would never say so. Growing up he was the second oldest in his family of seven children and he had to take on responsibility at a young age. When he turned 17 he left school and enlisted in the navy.

After spending 2 years in the navy he left to pursue a career as an ironworker which made him grow up real fast at the tender age of 19 and gave him a sense of pride and made him a man with a real purpose. He loved the exhilaration of working on the high iron and seeing the view from far up and he helped build many great buildings and bridges that line the city skyline. He worked in an unforgiving business though which had it's share of dangers which claimed the lives of some of his ironworker friends and injured severely members of his family including not only himself but also his father and his brother.

In the back of my mind I was thinking of writing at some point in my life but I didn't feel inspired the times I tried to write in earlier days so I kind of just let it take a back seat because I really didn't know where to begin. The first time I seriously thought I should write about my experiences was after reading a sad story of Terrence Harper who started writing a blog as his lasting tribute to his family and as a diary of his experiences knowing he had a terminal illness with a grim prognosis and a life expectancy of less than 5 years. He started writing when he first learned his diagnosis and he wrote with his wife and 2 children in mind. The name of his blog was Thumping my melon and he started writing in 2007 when he first learned of his illness. He was very brave and courageous which I found out after the fact because he had already passed away on June 2, 2009 at the age of 45 when I learned of his blog. He lived for only 3 years from the time he found out the grim news and he devoted his time to his family and chronicling his experiences to leave for his wife and children. I cried when I read his story and that courage and dedication he found in his life and wrote about was the seed that would get me started in my own writing.

There were 2 things going on in my mind when I started kicking around the idea to write and that was losing my father and dealing with my son's autism which has taken its toll on us. If you have read any of my writings you will see that my primary focus is on writing about my son and my love and respect for him in dealing with his autism with such courage. He has taught me so many things in his life and I am so proud of him and wish to do all I can to encourage him and make him feel accepted.

I find sometimes when I write that the words seem to flow and I write with passion and from my heart. I feel I can say things in my writing that I would have difficulty with sharing with others in conversation. Writing helps heal the pain I feel and gives me insight into my feelings and what is going on in my life and it gives me a way to express myself and find an outlet to write about what it is like growing up and dealing with autism. My son was diagnosed at the age of 2 1/2 and it has been a journey ever since. We have our good days and there are days that are extremely difficult. We are there every step of the way for our son and will do all we can to make his life better.

I also write about life experiences, childhood, friendships, family life, hopes, dreams, difficult times and my mom who I miss very much. My writing is personal and it is very helpful to me. I don't feel I will get monetary gain from my writing because I don't feel many people are interested in what I have to say and I don't have a following. I realize though that I am not writing to become popular or rich. I write because I am sad and I want to help bring a sense of normalcy back to my life and I write because I love my son and my dad and I feel inspired. I wish to leave my writings for my wife and son when it is my time to leave this place. I hope I have many years left to write about my son going to college, taking on the challenges of life which he faces every day, embarking on a career, meeting a girl and finding his place in the world. That is what I wish to write about because that is what I live and that is what means everything to me.

Since I started writing I have tapped into a creative side I thought I never had and I am starting to take advantage of the social media and would love to develop a website and try to help someone who is going through what we as a family have gone through. I believe many people are dealing with difficulties and they also need someone to show them the way. We all should try to help one another and I am first trying my best to help my son and find a way to live through the pain we must experience in life.

Edward D. Iannielli III

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Comments 22 comments

ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

In behalf of the Hubnuggets Team, I wish you all the wonderful things that the gift of writing can bring to your life. Congratulations on your Hubnuggets nomination. Do vote! http://hubpages.com/hubnuggets10/hub/HSI-Las-Vegas...


Baileybear 6 years ago

thanks for sharing and congratualations on your nomination. I have been writing about difficult experiences in my life, including my child with Asperger's


wrenstir 6 years ago

Edward, Thank you for your heartfelt article about the roots of pain your writing has sprung from. You may find that the passion that fills you when you write may eventually power many other emotions and much healing will come from the journey you have begun in writing. Never believe that no one is interested in what you have to say. You're intentions for writing will find their way into the world when you are ready.

I couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose my father as you have but I know your grief is profound. Likewise, your bravery in writing so candidly is the tiller that steers your passion. What a gift your writings will be for your son.

I was a writer before my mom was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's, upon which I became her primary caregiver and administrator for negotiating the numerous medical and organizational details of her final years of life. Through those years, my whole focus was on doing everything possible to assist my mom, surrounding her with friends, love and room for as many caring people as could possibly fit into our lives.

It was an incredibly hard job for so many reasons. At times, in light of little sleep, sometimes too tired to eat, only love can make such a passage bearable. I could not write during those years and remained exhausted for some time after my mom had departed. But I can thank her for so many gifts - life experiences that I would have never imagined before her illness that brought a whole new dimension to the person I am today. There was never a question that I'd be there with her as I was during those years.

Not a day goes by that I don't miss her. Many beautiful things I notice in my goings about remind me of how she was always one to notice and point out beauty to me throughout my lifetime. And she was the greatest fan of my writing when I was growing up. Thanks to her, I still have copies of my earliest poetry. I know as I am returning to my life in writing again, that my mom will always be with me, who always believed in me and my creative light.

Your son is very lucky to have you as his dad. And lucky you are to have your passion for writing. May it be a wing you will travel far on. Rest when you may but know this passion can forever renew.

Another thing I'd like to share with you for your son's condition is a link to a site by a colleague whose radio show I co-hosted on many years ago. She is a nutritionist with long years specializing in autism. If you don't know of her work already, you may find her in print and on the air by doing a search for Julie Matthews. This is a link to one of her sites - http://autismdiet.org/

Many blessings in your journey with your son.


ediann profile image

ediann 6 years ago Author

Thank you so much for such a heartfelt comment and for revealing the pain you had to live with in losing your mom to Lou Gehrig's disease. I was deeply touched by the story of Lou Gehrig and even referred to him in another writing of mine. I am finding that writing takes me on a self discovery that gives me insight and hope and a lasting legacy for my son. I was deeply saddened when I lost my dad in the shocking way we did and sometimes wonder what happened. I know he was depressed and lonely but he was also happy and lived for all his wonderful grand children. We never found a note if indeed it was a suicide as the coroner's office has decided. All we know is that our dad was very special and meant so much to us and the pain of loss is compounded by the reality of how he died. I also live to help my son and provide him the love and support with my wife that he certainly needs in his life. We encourage him and give him the love and nurturing a child needs and deserves and we are always supportive of him in every way. I appreciate the link you provided and the warm praise and encouragement. I am proud to be considered as a nominee for this entry and I wish all the writers good luck and thank them all and the community of hub pages for providing such a wonderful opportunity for expression through the written word. It allows me to truly understand and express how I feel. Thank you!


ediann profile image

ediann 6 years ago Author

Thank you ripplemaker and baileybear for your interest in my writing and for your congratulations on the nomination. I write for many reasons and am glad I am able to contribute to the hubpages community and grateful for being given the opportunity to write here.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

I am so sorry for your loss and how truly devastating that must have been. I understand why people commit suicide although I believe it is truly one of the hardest ways for people who live on to cope with. It is remarkable that you are remembering him in such a wonderful tribute and I only hope that he is at peace. Congratulations on your nomination and hope you find a happy place here on hubpages.


Money Glitch profile image

Money Glitch 6 years ago from Texas

Sorry for the loss of your dad. I loss my dad last year as well and have found that writing can be therapeutic in many ways. Thanks for sharing your story and congrats on being selected as one of this week's nominees for the HubNugget's Wannabe Contest. Good luck to you!


Aarthy Yuvaraj profile image

Aarthy Yuvaraj 6 years ago from India

Sorry about the loss of your dad. too lost mine three years back, and I too thought the world of him. I hope your writing brings you happiness, hope and strength to help give your son everything you have dreamed of. I am sure he will have a fulfilling personal and professional life. I am very touched by the way you have said that you do not write to become rich or popular. All the very best for the contest.


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest

THis was a beautiful tribute to your dad and writing is the best therapy- it's also nice to get great comments and feedback of people who support your writing. I am sorry for your loss but happy for the writing enjoyment you have gained. best of luck.


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 6 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

You didn't need to say your writing comes from the heart. It's right there front and center.

Sorry for the loss of your dad.

Good luck on the Autism journey with your son. There seem to be quite a few Hubbers who have similar situations.

Glad to be here to enjoy your beautiful writing...

MM


ediann profile image

ediann 6 years ago Author

I am touched by all the wonderful comments from such wonderful and compassionate people here at hubpages. You all have made me feel connected and have made me realize how important it is to express our feelings and reach out. I am so much wiser for my experiences but sad that we have to experience sadness and heartache as well. I wish my son to have a wonderful life as portrayed in the classic Jimmy Stewart movie which has always made me smile knowing how one life touches so many! You all have touched me with your kind and consoling words and I am truly appreciative! Thank you!


jambo87 profile image

jambo87 6 years ago from Outer Space / Inner Space

ediann, you have my nugget! Thank you for your sincere and honest writing, my condolences on the loss of your father. A few summers ago I worked at a camp for kids with autism/Asperger's syndrome. It was an uplifting but emotional experience. Those kids were so vibrant and loving, all the while fighting a very difficult condition.

"I write because I am sad and I want to help bring a sense of normalcy back to my life and I write because I love my son and my dad and I feel inspired. I wish to leave my writings for my wife and son when it is my time to leave this place."

You know your audience, never stop writing!


Deborah Demander profile image

Deborah Demander 6 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

I am sorry for your loss. Thanks for writing this hub, and good luck with your work.

Congratulations on your hubnugget nomination.

Namaste.


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 6 years ago from North Carolina

Ediann, it is often that a writer does not 'blossom' until certain life experiences occur. It is a sad tragedy about your father, and my condolences to you regarding that. However, this tragedy is moving you in a direction that is (yet unfolding) an opportunity to reach your higher potential. My thoughts are with you and your family. Congratulations on your hubnugget nomination. :)


FGual profile image

FGual 6 years ago from USA

Hello Ediann. Well I'm glad you decided to start writing. This is an awesome story and you are a good writer sharing it with us. Sorry for your loss, you were very lucky to have a close relationship with your father, which many of us did not have.


Jillofalltrades 6 years ago

Your story has touched me deeply. I started reading, and found myself crying for the anguish you must have felt when you heard that your dear father committed suicide. I am so sorry for your loss. It is a heartbreaking story, one which you have told so well. Thank you for sharing...


TonyBooth profile image

TonyBooth 6 years ago from United Kingdom

Congratulations on a well written and obviously cathartic hub. I have great empathy for you, as I truly know how traumatic and overwhelming suicide can be to family members and friends. My mum took her own life when I was in my early twenties. I am now in my fifties, and it still affects me every day. Writing is a passion and the more you write the more you will hone your skills. Never give it up. Try to write something every day, even if it's just a diary. Make every sentence and every word in the sentence work for the piece you are writing. Write for your own pleasure and satisfaction - and enjoy the diversity of rewards it brings.


Pamela Kinnaird W profile image

Pamela Kinnaird W 6 years ago from Maui and Arizona

I am sorry for your loss. I am touched by your ability to write with a hopefulness for the healing process that writing can bring. I am also very touched by the dedication you and your wife have toward your son. I read this hub of yours this afternoon and I went to another screen to find a book you mentioned called Nobody, Nowhere -- perhaps you mentioned it on another hub of yours that I read. I read some of the book on Amazon and it is going to be very interesting to read. I decided to order Somebody, Somewhere first before Nobody, Nowhere. And then I couldn't find this hub of yours again -- until just now.

One of your readers, TonyBooth, up above in the comments said, "I have empathy for you and....I know how traumatic and overwhelming suicide can be to family members."

I have empathy and understanding for you (and for him). I don't write about some things. I'm glad that you do and I will be reading your hubs regularly. Thank you for sharing.


emnem 6 years ago

Congratulations on your nomination in the Hubnuggets team. Please accept my condolences for your loss. I also wish you all the best for your mission of seeing your child grow up well and lead a life with all the joys that can ever be wished for him. Have a great time writing for your family and indirectly for all of us at hubpages.


femmeflashpoint 5 years ago

Ediann - what a wonderfully courageous spirit you have, and I'm truly sorry for the loss of your dad. I think it was a good move to go from considering writing as good therapy, to actually 'writing' as good therapy. I believe it won't be only you healing, it will help others heal as well.

Somtimes when the waters are troubled, the light of hope in our hearts can grow a bit dim. This hub shines with hope brightly, and I would recommend anyone to read it whether they're in a troubled situation or not. If it were not meant for them, it's surely meant for someone they know.

Thank you for sharing such special occurrences and people in your life.


ediann profile image

ediann 5 years ago Author

DADDDDDDD!!!!!!!! HE IS STILL ALLIVE! WHY YOU HAVE NO SPIRIT HUH? THIS IS MATTY. DONOT READ THIS PAGE OR YOU WILL CRY LIK A BABY!


ediann profile image

ediann 5 years ago Author

I am walking a delicate balance in what i write and how my son who is autistic interprets it. I wish I could tell my son that Pop is still with us and truly I do believe he is in spirit. I want my son to understand life is both happy and sad. I want him to be strong and have courage and I want him to know that I love him very much and will do anything I can to help him in his life. My dad did the same fo me as did my mom. I miss them both so very much and at least Matty got to meet and share time with his grandpa. My mom and Matty sadly never had the chance to meet but then again I do believe she watches over us and makes sure we are all ok. I will try to write so I don't get my son upset. It is not my intention. I love you Matty! You and your mommy mean everything to me! I am also grateful for all the kindness extended to me from all the readers who were so kind to share their thoughts and ideas and to acknowledge my writing. Love to you all!

Edward D. Iannielli III

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