Yet Another Angel here on the hubs

Thanks of course to Ripplemaker and Dayzeebee and rmr I am trying to pay my gratitude to ONE of my Angels....and I know I have more then one...I have several and will address them each,,,but today this is to my Loving Mother....As only mom's can love....

She was born In 1919 from a very German ancestory...and coming from a poor farming family in North Dakota...she was preg. with me just out of high school..tsk tsk..a very big sin back then.....And then they moved to California...the state of opportunity..the future...the life for all...and it was to them..My dad made more money then they were ever used too..and would spend it at the bar buying drinks for all...he felt rich and wanted to share...which is nice...but now he had 2 girls....Well the story goes on..but this is about my Angel...my mom...

During the war she was , what did they all them "Jane the 'rifiter"; anyway she worked nights welding,she brought up four girls, was a foster mother to many babies, helped my step-dad build up a big business, and was one who saved her money...Not one who saved things (like me) but very clean and also as I look back...very insecure and shy, and though it didn't seem that way,I believe she hurt deeply...

As life went on and we grew apart ( my dad dies at 35 yrs.of age..after a divorce from my mom)..another story....and I am now preg. with my first child...tsk tsk..a big sin..and who else ever did such a thing???....I was kicked out of my Home..to face my mistakes alone.....which I did...and was okay with that.....as my parents tormented me with my sins (by the way my new dad adopted me and my younger sister).

Anyway for many years I struggled with my errors and then for- gave my mom for hers..which to this day she never admits....but alas it doesn't matter...

Many years went by..and many hard feelings included...but for me I forgave but never forgot.....and now am in control of her future....she has Alzhiemers and is in a home....well cared for...well provided for because of my dad's and her wise investments..if it wasn't for that I couldn't care for in the fashion she is being cared for today...She is happy...she is well fed...she lives in a great home.

I take her out 4-5 times a week...and she is very happy...doesn't remember who I am...but she loves me..as Mother's do..even when they don't remember who you are...her face lights up when she sees me...and we have many good times now together...which I thank GOD for....even though it is hard for me..it is harder for her..she tells me "it is so bad..I can't remember...I try and try" and do suffer with her and I do know she always cared for me as most loving Mother's do....I Bless the day I found her.. I Bless the day God gave her back to me...and always love your Angels..I have more to write about ...but she is my first.......Thank You Ripplemaker and Dayzeebee...I love you both from the bottom of my heart....G-Ma :o) hugs

Comments 26 comments

Jean's Corner profile image

Jean's Corner 8 years ago from Harrisburg North Carolina

Thank you for that. I to had a strained relationship with my mother. I have also forgiven her, although like your mother she still says that she never did anything to me. Like you say that is another story. We get along fine now, but I don't feel that we will ever be as close as I would like. Maybe someday I'll get to share love with my mother.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Jean's Corner .......Thank You sweetie for commenting...and I do understand how you feel.and know we are not alone...My love for my mom isn't to this day...the same as the love me and my kids share...but then I was more open to things back in the 60's. My parents had it much harder then me...or so it seems. And when you do share again you will.. feel better, still alone but better...G-Ma :o) hugs


Veronica profile image

Veronica 8 years ago from NY

Wow, G-ma. She's lucky to have you, especially considering the way she treated you. I have a very strained relationship with my mother. So this his in a lot of ways.

XOXOXO


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Well...Veronica  thank You my dear...and so it seems many of us have had strained relationships  with one parent or the other...and I do know we all try to do our best...No one really is prepared for what being a parent can bring......

As a Mother and grandmother I understand...God has guided me along the way...even without my knowing just why...but I feel it is to care for my sweet dear mom now...when she is so alone...and hurts so much that the rest of her children aren't any help....As she struggled with motherhood and life...as we all do.... I love her dearly for the innocent 89 year old she is....I just hope I am so nice when I hit that age.....Angels are all around us.....G-Ma :o) hugs


dayzeebee profile image

dayzeebee 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

G-Ma hugs and kisses to a beautiful being. this is an inspiring story of forgiveness and unconditional love. your mom may not remember but i believe her spirit recognizes your amazing spirit and hence jumps with delight in your presence. not too many people are as courageous as you are to take the chance of expressing their love to those who may have hurt them in the past. you are awesome! thank you for being a role model. this hub makes me more grateful for having had a mom who did all she could to raise 9 kids on her own after my dad passed away. again my gratitude. hugs:)


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

dayzeebee..first of all I am sorry for mispelling your name...I fixed it...and you are far too kind in your thoughts about me...I believe we are all brought here to serve a purpose...whatever God has in the plan for us..and somehow I have found some peace here on the hubpages...just to express myself openly helps heal my heart...and yes what a wonderful Mother you had..and an even more wonderful daughter..Am also proud to know you my dear..God Bless..G-Ma :o) hugs


Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik 8 years ago from Seattle

Grandma, I think the things you do for her are amazing. At the same time, although she's often like a child again, I think she does a lot for you now too.

I got home yesterday, so perhaps I'll come up to see you both soon. Michal stayed at camp for the next few weeks, so I'm single for awhile.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Stacie...totally agreed my dear...never meant to imply anything else...believe me..and certainly I shall be here...just give me a call...G-Ma :o) hugs


Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik 8 years ago from Seattle

You didn't imply anything else. I was simply pointing out the obvious. :)


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California

G-Ma,

Having a parent with Alzheimer's is probably one of the most difficult things I can think of. Having lived through the ordeal myself, I understand the emotional stress one feels. Isn't life a wonderful thing however....we just seem to get the chance over and over again to become better each day. Your mother is lucky to have you and you are lucky to have her, both are edified by each other.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Yes Stacie Thank You for your concern... it is obvious she does much for me at this time....It is me that can't figure out why Me?...and what have I done to deserve the privelege of her love and care now???  We grow up not caring too much at times...about our parents...for many reason's...which all seem right and justified...

We forgive and go on...and still love them and search for their approval all our life's...well me anyway..and now she loves me..she doesn't know who I am..but she loves me...why?  Cause I pick her up and do things with her and care for her and entertain her...shop with her... and understand her.....I mean it could be anybody...she doesn't know who I am...My concellation is God..He knows...He cares...and she is my Mother...God gave her to me...or me to her...Am happy to be able to do this...don't get me wrong.....G-Ma :o) hugs


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

In the Doghouse....Thank You for understanding....and am sorry that you have gone through this also... And I do go to a support group twice a month, which is helpfull...in as much as other's have it much harder then I do....their stories are so sad...and my parents did a good job of preparing for times like these.....Maybe by mistake..but it doesn't matter...God directed them and they followed....I know I will get through this...and I do love her very much...just am sorry we didn't share it when it was more understood.....G-Ma "o) hugs


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

MY dearest G-Ma,

I am feeling so much inside that I just want to hug you right now. I just want to quietly hug you as God softly whispers to us, "You just met your angel today." You continue to inspire me with your honesty, your openess and your commitment to love. Thank you so much for allowing us to take part in your journey. You are loved dearly!

michelle


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

ripplemaker...you 'ripple' my skin and touch my heart..and I do feel the hug ...greatly appreciate you and your kindness..you move me deeply..and with tears...you are a true Angel of the Lord and I am very grateful for how you bring things out in me..things that I find so difficult to speak of...things that matter..and maybe things I shouldn't share...but my heart is healing and thanks to a kind loving person...michelle....G-Ma :o) hugs


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

G-Ma, I am deeply touched...grateful... and humbled with the realization that in each of our own unique and simple way, we can reach out and help another. Thank you for expressing all these things. You have made my day truly special. Yes, I was teary eyed but I was joyful too. Thank you very much. C'mon G-Ma! Let's hop and skip along the road of life as we continue to heal, to love and learn more about ourselves and life! Yey! Huggies to you always. :)

--michelle


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Thank You once again Michelle...My heart is skipping and hoping along..fearfully soo..take my hand...and we will stride across the fields together..the wonder of friends never can be overlooked or taken for granted...You are a dear....and I love you.....G-Ma :o) hugs and more hugs


soyelude profile image

soyelude 8 years ago from Lagos - Nigeria

Mothers are angels....where would we be without them...now what would they do without us! Nice one G-ma...keep loving and caring;way to go!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Thank You Sam.....and yes we need each other...always and forever....G-Ma :o) hugs


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 8 years ago from Southern California, USA

My paternal grandma also has Alzheimer's, so I felt very sad when I read that part about your mom. I agree, we can forgive better never to forget some things.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Yes it is so difficult when they get so bad...and don't remember even how to eat sometimes...but she is a real sweetie...and thank you for your understanding and am sad for you too..God never asks us for more then He knows we can handle...G-Ma :o) hugs


C.S.Alexis profile image

C.S.Alexis 8 years ago from NW Indiana

G-Ma, angels do not fall far from their trees! C.S. Alexis


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

C.S.Alexis awwww how sweet.....and I will totally agree.....just some fall harder then others......Thank you for your comment my dear...G-Ma :o) hugs


C.S.Alexis profile image

C.S.Alexis 8 years ago from NW Indiana

Some bounce better too! C.S. Alexis


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

And how did you know I am so bouncie??? LOL ? Thanks sweetie..that was nice...G-Ma :o) hugs


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 8 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

My mother is my first angel.  No matter what's happened through the years as I grew, she is the one who sheltered and protected me during the very tough times of my childhood.

Reading your words, I find comfort in going back to the childhood memories, reliving the comfort and love she gave me.

Maybe that's the way to forgiving.

My goodness, G-Ma, you always do point the path right to the heart.

Your fan, Sally


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Sally...Thank you...you are a sweetie...and I know Mom's are the most special people around...well the children and the dad's too...Well forgiving comes from the heart...and I did that years and years ago..because being a Mother myself I then began to understand my mom much better.

Realizing what hardships she suffered..and never complained...at least not that I ever knew...I am just so thankful to be the chosen one to care for her now...and maybe...just maybe make up for my stupidity when younger.

The pain and hurt she must have felt that I put on her...Where does the time go???and why do we do this to ourselves..well speaking for myself that is.....God has guided me and here I am. Happily watching over her as she still watches over me...G-ma :o) hugs

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