You Broke My Heart

You Broke My Heart

You know how I cannot resist a challenge. A Hubber named Sunny River wrote “Poem Challenge” and challenged all poetry writers to write a poem using any one of seventeen titles she suggested. Her unique titles are as follows:

Back Seat Confessions

Did We Not

Dangeresque

Over You

Ocean Eyes

As Much As It Hurts

Starless

Sparkle Core

Melting Chocolate

Asleep in the Tree

Eye of the Challenge

Coffee Club

Shadowy Dreams

Serpent Lights

World of Luck

Window of Rainbows

Dying Lights

I decided to take a more unusual route and write a verse using all the titles as part of the poem. Here ‘tis ...


I must confess though you may not believe me,

Back Seat Confessions aren’t my usual way.

But getting Over You really does grieve me,

So now in this verse, my feelings I display.


Remember how we lived so Dangeresque?

You know how I loved your sweet Sparkle Core.

Although I am not afraid to suggest,

It was your love-making I adored more.


Our first meeting was at the old Coffee Club

When I gazed into your so deep Ocean Eyes.

You looked like the Eye of the Challenge, my love;

Now I have discovered how your love-light dies.


For As Much As It Hurts me to confess,

The Dying Lights from a black Starless night

Have revealed your tendency to transgress.

You have gone and done me wrong and that ain’t right!


Did We Not agree we were the perfect pair

As we made love each night in our sweet tree house?

I know what you did though you were not aware.

You made love to your old girlfriend - you louse!


When I woke from a nap Asleep in the Tree,

I could see from your Melting Chocolate face

That you were no longer enamored of me.

You had found someone else to take my place.


Your eyes had turned to orbs of Serpent Lights;

Gone were my World of Luck and Shadowy Dreams.

My Window of Rainbows – both days and nights –

Had disappeared because of your faithless schemes.

Owliver - my former boyfriend
Owliver - my former boyfriend | Source

You are a fowl who committed an act so foul,

I swear I’ll never ever love another owl!


Footnote:

Please do not despair.

My heartstrings are loose.

Perhaps I can find

A sweet duck or goose.

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart? Al Green

"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose." - Rita Rudner


© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2013. All rights reserved.

Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So."

Proven strategies presented in a light-hearted manner. Learn to write a dynamic resume and cover letter, network effectively, interview confidently, and negotiate salary.

More by this Author


Comments for You Broke My Heart 58 comments

MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 2 years ago from South Africa

Oh my, I guess I was not supposed to laugh about such a louse who has dared to break your heart, drbj. Now his melting chocolate face is haunting me.... I wish I could eat it :)

You have met the challenge in more than one way :)))

Bravo!


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

hahaha Dear drbj, yes, you have met the challenge and then some!!! I so enjoyed your clever poem here using all of the titles in one great poem here. I sure did hate to here about your broken heart though, but glad you bounce back fast with the buying of the new outfit. I am sure you look fabulous dear!

Thanks for the smiles this day : )

Up and more and sharing

Blessings,

Faith Reaper


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 2 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Wonderful, and laughed my way through it.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

Well done drbj, you certainly met the challenge and more, as only you can do and with your usual humorous slant. Bravo!


Genna East profile image

Genna East 2 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Lol…now this is the way to meet a challenge, drbj. I enjoyed it; thank you for the smiles and fun. Very creative, too, I might add. :-)


always exploring profile image

always exploring 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

I can't stop laughing..You are soooo funny..I love that you used the word louse and to think the dirty dog had chocolate too. It ain't fair...Your wit is priceless. Can you tell? I loved it....


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 2 years ago from Deep South, USA

So like you to use ALL the titles in your poem, and with such flair! After reading about the treehouse, I was glad to discover the faithless one was an owl. (While sticking to the avian category of swains, I'd suggest a swan next time. They're known to be monogamous for life.)

Voted Up, Funny, Awesome and Interesting

Jaye

(also shared so others can have a laugh)


ocfireflies profile image

ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

drbj,

What can I say?

You took this challenge to a whole new level.

Great poem and so clever.

V+++

Very much enjoyed,

Kim


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 2 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Whhhhhhoooooooo does rhyming better than drbj?!

Why no one, said mar wisely and she is a real hoot too...!

And to put some Rev Al Green in here makes it downright awesome, lady! Beautiful and cool!


billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

You are so creative and so funny. I imagine I could do the same but it wouldn't be half as good as this. Well done. You have provided a wonderful laugh on this Saturday evening. If you listen closely you can hear me applauding you from Olympia.

bill


brakel2 profile image

brakel2 2 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Drbj. You took a real challenge and made it meaningful. I love it because it worked and added humor. We all need to laugh more. It was the different titles that made it funny plus the ending. It is so nice to meet you. Blessings. Audrey


Sunny River profile image

Sunny River 2 years ago from A Place Without A Name which resides somewhere between Fantasy and Belief, just north of Reality

I laughed and clapped! This was fantastic and you far exceeded my challenge!! Bravo, bravo! Love, love, loved this poem!! :D


sligobay profile image

sligobay 2 years ago from east of the equator

Great performances of wit and humor are hard to come by but you have delivered your skill and cleverness with verve. I am inspired to write a poem.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 2 years ago from Arlington, TX

You my friend are marvelous.

The Frog Prince


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 2 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

This poem is funny, creative and very enjoyable, drbj! Thank you for the entertainment.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States

How very clever to use all the suggested titles and write such an entertaining poem. I think you did a marvelous job. I would have expected no less from you.


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 2 years ago from California

Delightful reading, so glad you took the challenge.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Well, it was all my fault, Martie. I had no business falling in love with a louse of an owl. Laugh all you want - they say that is the best medicine. And I have to stop writing about chocolate - makes me want to run out and find some ... now! If I had some handy, you know I would share it. Thanks for enjoying my response to the challenge.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

You know it, Faith, a new outfit always helps to assuage the grief of a broken heart. Thanks for enjoying my poetry. To use all the titles and have this make some sort of sense, I had to take the literary license of using an animal that dwells in a tree (tree house, you know).

Thank you for smiling, the sharing and the Up, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Becky, I do believe I heard you laughing all the way down here in the Southland. Thanks for the 'wonderful,' m'luv.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Jodah, thank you for agreeing that I met the challenge (and more) and the very gracious comments. The Bravo! is nice, too.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Such lovely comments, Genna, thank you. I enjoyed rising, shall we say, to the challenge. And creative is one of my very favorite adjectives, y'know.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

I loved your comment, Ruby,

About my priceless wit.

Come back any time.

As to the laughing ... now you can quit.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Jaye, for appreciating the STRAIN of using all the titles in this poetic masterpiece. So swans are monogamous? Who knew? And thank you for the Up, pushing all the buttons, and the sharing. You are the best!


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Kim. Thank you for appreciating my response to this unique challenge. A whole new level? Wow! I love your V+++ grading system, too.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Maria - what a clever comment you left in owl-ese. And I understood it perfectly. Thank you for the beautiful and cool, too. Nice to know you admire Al Green also.


sligobay profile image

sligobay 2 years ago from east of the equator

Hi DRBJ. I wrote a few hubs on selected titles which does not rival your masterful composition. Sunny posted a second challenge to test your skills. Cheers.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you for the gracious accolades, Bill. Happy I provided you with a laugh. So that was you applauding all the way from Olympia? I rushed to shut the windows - thought it was thunder!


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Audrey. Thanks for loving my humorous response to the poetic challenge. More laughter is what the world needs. Nice to meet you, too, m'dear. Don't be a stranger!


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted I exceeded your challenge, Sunny River. Thanks for providing the creative impetus. You laughed and clapped and loved the poem? And two Bravos to boot. What more could I ask?


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

What a thrill that I inspired you, Gerry, to write a poem. Keep me posted. Thank you for the gracious comments - I am particularly fond of wit, humor and verve, y'know.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Jim, for the visit and the 'marvelous.' You are even 'marvelouser' when it comes to biting political observations. Now how can we get every voting citizen to read them?


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

To be funny, creative, enjoyable and entertaining, Alicia - that is my mission. Thank you for noticing, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you Pamela for those very gracious comments -I do appreciate your visits and perspicuous remarks.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, tireless traveler for pausing in your tireless travels to find this delightful reading. I'm glad I took the challenge, too.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Thanks, Gerry, for the update on Sunny's second challenge. Upon your recommendation, I shall check it out. Cheers backatcha.


SuperS 2 years ago

You are amazing! Very Clever!


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

You are Amazing and very Clever, too. Trust me. And perspicuous and perspicacious, too. Trust me on that also.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 2 years ago

Awesome job getting all the titles into this poem. It reminds me of stew - just a little bit of everything and it is so good! I haven't heard that song on the video in ages but it's goes with your poetry. This put a smile in my day.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Hadn't thought of that before, but you are right, Dianna, creating this verse was almost like throwing ingredients into a stew. Knew you would like the song, and happy I put a smile in your day. Any time, m'dear.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 2 years ago from sunny Florida

Love this...never am disappointed when I come here to read...you have a gift!!! and thank you so much for sharing it with all of us...

Many Angels are on the way to you this evening ps


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted you are never disappointed when you stop by, Patricia. Thank you for your sublime comments. Sharing is my pleasure, m'dear. Hope your weekend is sublime, too.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

That was really clever, and I loved it! your poem flowed and didn't get stuck when you had the main titles hidden in there, what a great idea! lol!


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Nell. Hope your Thanksgiving was Happy. Thanks for finding this clever - that makes two of us, m'luv. Wasn't easy fitting all those titles in and having the poem make sense - of a sort. :)


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 2 years ago from malang-indonesia

Beautiful, excellent, cute..and..many more. How are you? I am glad to see you with here. I try to come back on Hubpages. After a few months "off". Thank you very much. Take care and God bless you.

Best regards,

Prasetio


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Delighted you decided to come back, pras, you have been missed, y'know. Thanks for enjoying my poetic challenge. I'm fine and hope you are well, too.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 2 years ago

Nice drbj. You've been to the Heartbreak Hotel. I have a room there nightly.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

That hostelry, Micky, never lacks for guests ... unfortunately. Thanks for stopping by - it was a pleasure to see you here.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 2 years ago from St. Louis, MO

So ... How's the duck hunting going? Lol

Looks like you picked a winner - loved the charming poem as always!


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

I've sworn off domestic fowls, Kelly. Now I'm looking for more international excitement: perhaps a South American toucan or mynah bird. Ole! Thanks for the visit, m'luv, and loving the poem.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 2 years ago from Minnesota

I am so impressed that you challenged yourself with using all the title prompts. It shows what a talented writer you are. I had to hit every button on this great poem of love and heart break.


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

Aw, Linda, you are such a sweet Hubbuddy. Thank you for recognizing this challenge and your most gracious (absolutely true, of course) comments. Thanks m'luv for hitting all the buttons, too. May your Christmas be Merry.


supers49 2 years ago

Awesome you are so creative!


drbj profile image

drbj 2 years ago from south Florida Author

I can say the same with no fear of contradiction about you, too, supers49. Thanks for your sublime adjectives.


brakel2 profile image

brakel2 2 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Hi Dr BJ You can do almost anything you decide to do and make the creation funny. This poem is cute and so original. When they gave out brains, they must have given you an extra special one, because you make everyone laugh. I still remember the wind up toy creation but have trouble telling it to someone else. Thanks for making me laugh and giving me a better day. Blessings, Audrey


DealForALiving profile image

DealForALiving 2 years ago from Earth

Such a fun poetry challenge! It's always nice to see writers trying new things and experimenting with the forms.


drbj profile image

drbj 15 months ago from south Florida Author

What a lovely comment, Audrey. Please forgive my taking so long to respond to your most gracious comments. I am delighted if I made you laugh - makes my day, too.

I'm puzzled though by your reference to 'the wind-up toy creation.' Please refresh my memory which ain't what it used to be. Thanks, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 15 months ago from south Florida Author

Nice to meet you, Deal ... Happy you noticed that I do like to do new things in new formats. If you would like a laugh or two, take a look at my new series on Crazy Laws in each U.S. state. I just posted the latest: 'Crazy Laws in the State of Indiana.'

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