a butterfly garden

I was taking a walk the other day and I saw a butterfly. Then another. Then one more. Soon, I caught sight of what easily could have been 100 of them. A pretty awesome sight! Of course, I didn't have my camera with me. Not surprising as I'm not usually very good at remembering to bring it. I love butterflies. They are so graceful, often brightly colored and represent beauty and freedom in flight. They also represent so very much more. They are also a species that illustrates rapid change and development.

Who doesn't know this engaging story by Eric Carle? What better illustration of life and change can you find?!

We were walking, my son and I at one of my favorite spots to walk, The Riparian Preserve. What a lovely place it is and has been the source of many of my poems, hubs and blogs. Some directly and some indirectly, just by offering me a relaxing place to clear my head, think or daydream. There is a special garden there that I discovered during one of my walks a couple of years ago. The Butterfly Garden. It has flowers and plants that attract butterflies and hummingbirds. It doesn't get much lovelier than that even when you see the reason it was planted. http://www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WM8Z8K_Riparian_Preserve_Butterfly_Garden_Gilbert_AZ

I didn't know Hannah or her family, but my heart breaks for them. I am a mother. I have suffered pregnancy loss, stillbirth and delivered prematurely. My life and personality have most definitely changed through these experiences. I am blessed I know, to have my 2 beautiful children but when I go to Hannah's garden, I mourn for her and my 3 babes who didn't make it. I love that this memorial is so vibrant and alive with butterflies, hunmmingbirds and other small wildlife. I love that there is some color in an otherwise fairly muted area. I love that this garden represents beauty, freedom. flight, growth and a sense of moving on. It is a positive force and has a way of rejuvenating me when I visit. A beautiful tribute for a life that was too, too short. For a whisper of a promise.

...to look at this beautiful place as a way to celebrate and remember the joy and promise of an unborn child. Our lives so full. Our joy so clear. I choose to remember what each of these lives, however short they were, have contributed to who we are. I go to the preserve often. I don't always stop in the Butterfly Garden and even when I do, I don't always feel sad. I lost 2 pregnancies, one at 5 months, the other at 4 months. But, I lost my Jake when I was 6 and a half months along. I delivered him, stillborn. I touched him. I kissed him. I told him good-bye. I still ache for my beautiful boy. I know there was a reason he was given to me. I just don't know what that reason is, yet. It has been 16 years but he will always remain my sweet, tiny baby boy. The garden helps me to remember. It also helps me to move on. It is a garden filled with life. Thriving.

You were still a whisper

an elusive promise

of laughter, giggles, soft, wet kisses

You rolled inside me and I imagined

the day I'd hold you

in my arms, at my breast

taking endless pictures

trying to get you to smile

at the right time

I pictured

watching you sleep

You were a promise

of unconditional love

a source

of unending joy

You were mine for a time

so brief that

you never got to hear me call you by name

and I never got to feel your heartbeat

when it wasn't inside of me

You were a whisper

You were my whisper

When I go to the garden, I always read the plaque. Hannah's life should be remembered. When I walk away, I face the children's section of the preserve, the mini archeological di and the giant footprints. I see the picnic area and I watch life move on. I run to it, eager to join it. I have written aout the source of comfort this park has brought me. I would also like to share some poetry by one of our own hub community. Please check out these poems by Eiddwen. Come Sit by Me series. A very worthwhile, thought provoking and awe inspiring read! And just plain soothing!

Although I wrote this hub in October, i hadn't physically been to Hannah's Butterfly Garden since the summer. we went last week and I was in shock. The garden is a mess! Everything is dying, dead or overgrown. It was a sunday, so there was noone to ask. I'm not sure what happened or why. There is a possibility that they are moving it to another area. There is also a possibilty that they ran out of funding. I know that I am not done with this garden that has been a personal haven for me for the past four years. I will make an effort to find out what is happening and an effort to help restore the garden. Watch for updates!