a doll named fragile

CV.

Source
Source


I was about 6 when the package arrived. It was in a mailing carton with all the appropriate cautions to the post-people, like "Handle With Care". But the notice which grabbed my fancy was "Fragile". The box was addressed to me 'in care of' mother, so I made sure it was all right for me to open it. It was, and when I beheld the contents - a lovely bisque-porcelain "Storybook" doll - I thought it was her name and suited her perfectly! "Fragile" she was and I treasured her dearly.



Looking back, one notices influences from events and experiences, large and small, which at the time simply were contained within themselves, no more, no less. But this experience with a lovely thing with a fragile being and existence made an impression on me. I've thought about "Fragile" many times since then and wondered how many of my attitudes and awarenesses she influenced.



Each fragment

Is the whole.

Each moment

Is eternity.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay


Excerpt from title illustration
Excerpt from title illustration

Not Yet Full Circle

In the woods

Doors not yet carpentered

Squeak eerily

On hinges not yet forged,

As unwarmed winds

Enter in and bluster through

Future homes of

Creatures not yet born.

They are ghosts of mortals

Not yet laid

Into the Earth in caskets

Not yet crafted

Out of woods.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay



It happens:

Spring unfolds,

Causing itself

Without strain.

A soul becomes

By being;

Moved and mover

Are the same.

Alpha, Omega,

Identical;

Beginning end,

First, last,

This, that;

ALL - the same.

Differentiated momentarily

That seer might be seen,

That word may be heard,

That Love might experience itself.

The new addition to the Universe,

Awareness.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay



Today

Being me

Is almost

Automatic,

Scarcely conscious,

Effortless, simple,

Today.

How does it ever

Become snarled?

I cannot recall that

Very well

Today.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay




The sails

Be calmed.


I cannot read the wind

But when it stirs again,

It will be clear.


To tack the slightest breeze,

The sails be free.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay




There is nothing better

Than what is,

Even if what is

Is an ache for

What is not.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay



Distance really is relative.

A six-inch wall

Can be further away

Than half a continent.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay



Traps.

A satin trap.

A velvet trap.


Freedom

May be

Burlap.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay



Accepting life

And loving it as it is

Is the fountain of youth,

The well-spring

Of eternity.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay


Sting & Julio Iglesias : Fragile

Reincarnation


Crest my soul

Upon pinnacles

Of love and trust.

It is safe

To give and take

And to be filled,

To lap shore

Then trickle back

To sea once more,

Vital nourishment

Dissolved within

Droplets

Of thyself.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

There is, then,

A suddenness

Of feeling

Freedom

Knowing.

Are you aware of it, too?


______© Nellieanna H. Hay








Heaven is

Knowing when

You've

Found it


______© Nellieanna H. Hay


More by this Author


Comments 70 comments

radhikasree profile image

radhikasree 4 years ago from Mumbai,India

Beautiful poems and pictures!! Your poetic tribute to "Fragile" is interesting and amazing!!

Up and beautiful.

Sharing with my friends here.


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Dear Nellieanna, Fragile and fleeting, your poems remind us that it is important to keep a record. Another beautiful collection of wise words and delightful images. The fragile song so apropos. Voted up and Awesome! Regards, snakeslane


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear radhikasree - Thank you for visiting my place here and your kind comments - especially for being my first visitor! Thank you! And I've just peeked into your site and will be looking more!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Snakeslane - I've missed you lately. So good to see you. Yes, keeping a record is wise. Not only is life fragile and fleeting but uncertainty and insecurity are part of what makes it life. One may sometimes yearn for more reliability - but even if it seems to have it, it's a cruel delusion. Living with the tenuousness is what it is to be alive.

Isn't that song fitting? Thank you for your presence. Hugs. Nellieanna


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

What a trip that you took me on. First, my pareents started a doll collection for my new baby sister when we lived in France. Through the years, she would receive packages from Dad when he was deployed. They always had a doll and a story card.

This was like gazing at my sister's doll collection and reading every card.

Wonderful!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Bill - that's marvelous! Your little sister must have been so delighted to receive the dolls. I know it felt like the most wonderful, magical Aladdin's lamp wish come true for me. And yes - to have the story card accompany the doll - that surely was another treat! I'm so pleased that my little 'collection' here brought back the pleasant re-collections for you. I wanted to draw together various images, not just of the doll, but she was the focal point and set the direction.

I loved dolls as a kid and had Shirley Temple dolls, a Sonja Henie doll, and many ohers of various kinds. The materials then, in those 30s and early 40s, were quite different than now - or prior to then. My mother's dolls were actually the China Dolls one associates with old-times. But Nancy Ann Storybook dolls were my favorites & they were breakable. Hair came off, limbs & heads came loose and their bisque bodies could shatter. But they were not just for admiring.

My best friend and I both collected them and we wrote 'stories' for them to act out over weeks, which totally absorbed us!

"Fragile" was the first Storybook Doll I received, however. They always came in shiny white-with-polka-dot boxes, beautifully packed and presented.

Later my niece collected Madame Alexander dolls and then my own daughter was in the Barbie generation. I always designed and sewed for my dolls and later for my girls' dolls. It inspired me to become quite a designer and seamstress, in fact.


daisyflowrs profile image

daisyflowrs 4 years ago from Richmond, VA

There is nothing better, Than what is,Even if what is,Is an ache for What is not.~ Perfection!


rahul0324 profile image

rahul0324 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

"Accepting life

And loving it as it is

Is the fountain of youth,

The well-spring

Of eternity"

the best message from ' fragile' .. the acceptance towards what we have... to be content in what god has provided us with...

I read the entire tale fragile tells without a blink and felt awed by how ironically strong she is despite being fragile...

I loved the way she loved her life and lived lively through it... not missing any beauty it has to offer...

What a lovely poem ma'am... It was truly an honor reading such poetry....

Up and beautiful are small! A bow in regard.. :)


Hubert Williams 4 years ago

Nellieanna Lovely poetry and a beautiful doll. My sister collected dolls. she was sent dolls from all over the world by family members in the Armed Forces. She cherishes those dolls today.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Daisy- Dana - Ah - that is such an urgent basic relationship with LIFE if it is to be a good relationship! Thank you! Hugs!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Rahul - what a lovely accolade! Thank you. That little poem also expresses a basic relationship with LIFE if it is to be well lived to its capacity. Fighting the inevitable nature of LIFE is no way to get the most out of it - and give the most back to it.

We are, indeed, blessed with this beautiful earth and the moments of life in our beings. Perhaps even more than accepting it, we need to embrace it. Even more than being content with it, we need to delight in it every single day when we awaken to find it's still ours to embrace!

The problems we find with any of it - at least those over which we have some control -are usually of our own making, - our part in it somewhere along the line in their development. Choices that seem unimportant at the time turn out to fulfill their logical direction set up then and become worsened by each additional poor choice we add to the development.

It's less simple & easy to undo poor directions once set into motion, but, thankfully, it's always possible while we live. So we need to be a source of encouragement both to ourselves and to those within our sphere of influence.

I perceive you already know all that though! A curtsy in response to your gracious bow!


rahul0324 profile image

rahul0324 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

Words of wisdom ma'am... words of true morale and wisdom... hats off!!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Hubert, hello. Thank you for visiting my poetry and my doll's memory. I can only cherish my dolls in memory. Our house burned when I was 11. It didn't burn to the ground but the fire started in my area of the house after I'd gone to school that day. My keepsakes and treasures were badly destroyed, especially my dolls. So many then were made of something they called "composition" and it must have been like tinder for the flames. I also had rag dolls which were easily consumed. But other things in the house more valuable also perished or were badly damaged. Mother was an artist and her earliest works when she was a student at Chicago's Art Institute & graduated in 1917 were damaged beyond repair or even recognition, if not by flames, then by smoke and water. Her style changed a lot when they moved to Texas, so those early paintings were truly irreplaceable.

But again, this hub is about loving life as it is and unfolds. So I'm reminded that we can have the memories but always need to be making new ones.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, Rahul. Just some simple gleanings from a long life still going strong. You're a dear!


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

My friends call me Chip. Call me Chip.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, Chip! And apologies. I think I knew that! (blush)


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

No apology necessary! You can always remember by my Native American name . . . Buffalo Chip.


empire mike profile image

empire mike 4 years ago from empire, colorado

"there is nothing better

than what is,

even if what is

is an ache for

what is not"

this sure comes at a time of aching for what is not. how fragile we are indeed...how fragile we are. thank you for the remindful wisdom throughout this entire hub. you are a wonder!


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

Dear lady

of gentle verse

wafting on the breeze

to greet the pallet

for those who loiter

eating sweet nothings

and good tea.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

There's no way I could forget that's you're Chip, now! Hugs. Thank you!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Michael. This is distressing. If only words could help. I'd start with "you are much loved". And perhaps these might express my dismay as well as my hope:

I cannot read the wind

But when it stirs again,

It will be clear.

I just watched the most wonderfully absurd classic movie on TCM, "The Unsinkable Molly Brown". It has real roots and its primary setting is Colorado. Scenes there touched my heart, knowing how you love it there.

Hugs, my dearest.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

JF - it is my pleasure to see you visiting and bringing some keen perception with you. That you chose to drop by and to loiter eating sweet anythings with good tea in my place makes me feel honored, indeed.


empire mike profile image

empire mike 4 years ago from empire, colorado

it's really ok. actually, words can help. i just got back getting my new profile picture added to my tattoo mural. omg! i've seen the molly brown house in denver, by the way. love you


empire mike profile image

empire mike 4 years ago from empire, colorado

ps: a coworker from nepal calls me "musay" which means little mouse. i realized it would be a perfect addition to my "scene."


empire mike profile image

empire mike 4 years ago from empire, colorado

my advice to everyone: when you're down and troubled, and you need a helping hand, go and get a tattoo. that will remind you what real pain is! just kidding- we all know too well what real pain is.


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Back to listen again Nellieanna, I've got this song stuck in my head today. And btw I have doll stories. You got me thinking. There was one that had eyes that would be looking at you no matter where you were in the room. Hmmm, wonder what that fascination was all about. Life like I guess. Lots and lots of paper dolls, that went on forever. Enough for now. Cheers snakeslane


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

No empty words, Michael! Packed with love. Oh - so that cute little mouse is on your chest, interacting with the other scenes on there? Where is he located? Over your heart? He's really charming but does he need cheering up? I had a friend who always called me "the little mouse" - it was Vivien who painted that lovely bird hanging from a willow limb (or was it mesquite?) which I featured on a hub, Authenticity.

I perceived that getting a tattoo was linked to downs. Hope there are more ups! All that pain. . . .! Bunches of hugs and kisses.

Yeah. The whole Molly Brown story was of a truly unsinkable spirit, coming to terms with who she really was and where her real treasures were.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Snakes, thanks for returning to visit again. It is a haunting song, isn't it? I usually play it when I come to read and reply to new comments. Then I get caught up in listening to its words and music and looking at the visuals.

Those doll-eyes that followed you around the room- - um- spooky, - - in a nice way,- - I think.

Ah, yes, paper dolls. I had tons of them. Tried to make clothes for them, too. haha. My sister's husband was first-cousin of Georgia Carroll, a beautiful model, singer and actress of the 40s. In Hollywood, she sang with Kay Kaiser's orchestra and married him. During the war (#2), my sister taught school on the West Coast while her husband was overseas and she often visited them. Sometimes I got promo photos of starlets with real signatures, which I thought was special. But what was REALLY special was that I had a Georgia Carroll paper doll. It just came in an ordinary book of paper dolls from the store. I was in grade-school and went around showing the paper doll to people and announcing that she was my "cousin-in-law", - to which they would adamantly reply something like, "'they' didn't make paper dolls of people's cousins-in-law!" haha So much for my hoped-for moment of fame! hehehe

I later learned that my George was in High School with Georgia Carroll here in Dallas one year when his folks lived here. (She was in his generation). Small world, huh? My brother married another of her first cousins. They were all in that generation, in fact. But none of the sparkle came off on me.


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Hi Nellieanna, wow, a famous in-law, a real paper doll. Your memory is amazing. I was the daughter of a star struck mother so movie magazines were everyday reading material. Followed the Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton saga. They got married 2x. Naughty movie stars lol.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

That the 'cousin-in-law' designation (which I invented) was so utterly absurd was what made it amusing that the kids didn't question that, but only whether or not paper dolls were made of cousins-in-law! And that I didn't even question that they didn't at the time. Kids! haha

So your mother was a movie fan, snakeslane. Ah, yes - the Richard and Liz saga. Naughty, indeed. Their marriages were 2 out of her 8 marriages. But you probably know that. She was my generation. In fact, she & I were born the same month of the same year, Feb., 1932, except mine was on the 2nd and hers, the 27th.

When I was a kid and in first grade (I started @ 4-1/2), when my parents had to go to the ranch, they'd leave me with my teacher, Miss Willie Long, who had a huge supply of movie magazines I could enjoy. But the stars in them were the likes of Rudolph Valentino, Jean Harlow, Greta Garbo and Clark Gable.

When I was a teenager, we lived next door to the aunt of Ann Miller, the Hollywood dancer; and her mother was a friend of my mother's, as well. Blanche, the aunt, and Mabel, the mother, talked about, "Ann this and Ann that" all the time.

It's amazing how much Hollywood permeated and influenced people's lives, isn't it? For my parents, though, it was such an innovation. There were no movies when they were born and growing up. My Dad never embraced them and Mother was quite selective.


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Oh what fun, chatting with Nellieanna about movie stars. My mother would have been more of a movie fan if we had not moved to a little fishing village way hell and gone on the northern tip of Vancouver Island where movies were brought in haphazardly and viewed from uncomfortable folding and later stacking metal chairs at the community hall. But my references get even more convoluted after all that, years later doing research at University for an English Professor who was writing a book on British theatre in Canada at the turn of the Century. So my job was to read old Canadian newspapers (on microfiche) and find announcements of plays that toured Canada and make notes of what actors performed in those, and how the plays were reviewed. Since this information was found on the 'entertainment' pages, I would sneak a look at all the other stage, film and movie announcements and reviews, and now remember more about those. So names like Harold Lloyd, a Barrymore or two, Lady Ellen Terry, Lawrence Olivier (later) Henry Irving, Mary Picton are all there smudged together, without ever having seen a play or movie from that time. Odd what 'facts and fiction' we accumulate, and then forget. But you never seem to forget a thing, that is so amazing.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

My memory is quite keen, and fortunately it even includes short-term memory. If I have a lapse, I train myself to 'find' it or allow my subconscious to produce it. But that is a rare occurrence, thank goodness. I've waited to write of my life's experiences to feel qualified, and now that I do, I can't afford to forget!

YES - it is fun!! I'm so enjoying hearing about your experience with film and stage and those associated with them in Canada! That was an interesting job you had researching the special genre of film for the professor! Whoo-hoo. I'd have been in hog-heaven.

I don't know if I've mentioned to you that my parents, who came from northern Indiana and Illinois, started their married life in 1917 in Seattle, where they both sold home medical books door-to-door in the PNW, including BC and into Alberta. My eldest sister was born in Seattle. I've never been that far NW. But I grew up hearing about the area. I even have my mother's passport needed for her selling in Canada. That selling business (probably a kind of pyramid scheme) was hoped to be their fortune-maker. Things changed radically!

My movie-going life was not quite as primitive as you describe for your mother's, but during the summer months, for all 3 months, we were at the ranch, 100 miles from any civilization. The only entertainment was from an old wind-up Victrola and Edison records and whatever we could create for ourselves. I "played" at stories in which I was the sole production staff and actor. Now they're finally getting satellite TV down there! haha

When in town, I could go to the movies on Saturdays. It was in Del Rio, Texas - a Mexican border town & in the 1930s, it was fairly primitive. It still has only one multi-theater in its one enclosed mall - 6 theaters. Back then, the one movie theater on Main Street was tiny, with a tiny box office right on the sidewalk, no fancy lounge and only the slightest concession stand. I usually popped my own corn at home and brought it with me. If I had money for candy, I got it at the Piggly-Wiggly store and took it in too.

The routine was to go to the morning westerns. 10 cents admission. Mother required that I make a quilt block to earn the dime. My friend, Dorothy, sometimes went, too. She was the one who had means to get candy at the grocery store, on her parents' charge account. We'd get a huge 25-cent bag of Kraft caramels. I had very little access to candy at home and that was momentous.

We would hunker down after Gene Autry or Hoppalong Cassidy had their time so we could stay over for the matinee, which would be some slightly racy 30s romantic romp with someone like Clark Gable and Carole Lombard. Lots of teasing, rapid-fire banter and motoring around in roadsters (fancy Model-Ts). Or it might be a Rogers and Astaire musical like "The Gay Divorce", "Top Hat" or "Flying Down to Rio". You can imagine the impression these had on little girls from nowhere! I'll bet Daddy would have had a fit if he'd known what we did.

Occasionally a Disney animated movie rated getting admission to see it and sometimes Mother even went along. 'Fantasia' was one of my favorites.

Admission to movies was so cheap. It was during the Great Depression, after al.

When I was 5, in 1937, came Mother's all-time favorite movie, "Lost Horizon". I'm pretty sure she'd read the book and that was why she wanted to see the film. I went with her and her delight and dedication to its premise surely infected me for my own life.

A couple of years later came two other monumental all-timers, "The Wizard of Oz" and "Gone With The Wind". Of course we saw those. My elder siblings, a brother and two sisters, went to movies on their own, I guess, but GWTW changed my eldest sister's life. She was 21 and looked so much like Vivien Leigh that even many years later, when she had gained some social status and met Randolph Churchill at a Dallas event, he commented on it. Her baby sister was simply awed. I'd been likened to Shirley Temple - but this was big-time!

Now I have an extensive DVD collection and I've fallen in love with British movies. I'm breathlessly awaiting the next season of "Downton Abbey". Unfortunately the British seem to regard the US as a no-man's-land of illiterates who wouldn't fully grasp the subtleties of their films and series. So we get them later, watered-down. I have "Jane Eyre" and all Jane Austen's books and film interpretations. "A Room With A View" is one I adore. Twilight Lawns has introduced me to some great British films, though "Jane Eyre" and Jane Austen are my own finds. He's steered me to some Bollywood Indian films too.


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Good Morning Nellieanna, to correct something I wrote in last comment before I continue reading, it is Mary Pickford, (looked her up, turns out she was a Canadian actress from Toronto, who knew?) not Pickton (big slip there).


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Nellieanna I love your childhood movie going memories from Del Rio. And your parents had quite the life on the road before you came along. Shirley Temple, you still have that little girl sweetness...

Before we moved to parts unknown we did have real movie theatre close by at Whalley's Corner. The Cameo Theatre. Smitty ran the projector and was friends of our parents, so we got to see the movies from inside the booth on the tours he would give us. We also discovered that popcorn came in big yellow ten gallon bags, already made up. These were stored behind the scenes somewhere. I can still see those yellow bags piled high.

We moved away, but came back every summer to stay with family who still lived there, so movie going became a summertime thing. I remember my Aunt taking me to see Gone with the Wind.

In our summer visits we formed a large unruly 'theatre troupe' and put on plays and performances for our parents in the basements or out in the garage and charged admission and sold Koolaid and popcorn to those who attended. We were a Baton twirling, toe tapping lot with acrobatics thrown in, and of course singing and dancing to the latest tunes (Brenda Lee was one I remember)..


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Good morning, dear friend! Thanks for clearing that up. Mary Pickford, I met in Miss Willy's movie magazines. She was a bit before my time, born the same year my mother was born - 1892. Her film career was among the very earliest, with a bunch of "shorts" back as far as 1909! From what I surmise, her first full-length (silent) movies were in 1913. She was prolific from then on throughout the 20s, but I believe she dropped out when the talkies came and made her last film in1934 when I was 2.

When I saw 'Pickton', I assumed it was a British actor your Professor's book was looking into. haha;


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ah - they stashed the popcorn bags behind the scenes at the Cameo Theater! Ingenious! How were they dispensed, I wonder? hehe

Oh, you had basements! Del Rio, indeed most of Texas, has no basements. This Dallas house is built on solid rock, in fact. When my neighbors decided on a pool it took weeks to blast out the hole for it!

In Del Rio when a kid, another playmate, (Tommy Jo Everett - her parents wanted a son!), and I put on plays, too. Her house had a curtained archway between the two 'front rooms' so we could seat the audience on one side and perform on the other. We sold lemonade and cookies. She was so bossy, though. I was always relegated to the mousey parts. Same when we played outside. She got to be Tarzan and I was some unknown. She was the captain of the regiment and I was a squaw. She surely became a Type A CEO or something. haha.

But you had talent - baton twirling and toe tapping! wow. I only recall acting, singing and dancing. Our latest tunes were from "Your Hit Parade", which we looked forward to hearing on Saturday nights. No visuals.

Brenda Lee rose to notice in the early 60s, when I was a doughty mother and housewife. She sort of fell between the cracks for me. My kids missed knowing her too. She died so young. But she had a melodic voice, sort of a cross between Patsy Cline and Connie Stephens, maybe.

When I was in my late teens, I was compared to Audrey Hepburn, who had just hit the scene big time. I guess we shared a 'pixie' quality. I'd outgrown Shirley Temple. I guess it was the ringlets early-on. hehe


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Hi Nellieanna Re: the popcorn, It was dumped by the bag load into a bright shiney glass display case (right at eye level) that circulated the popcorn around somehow (with hot air?)to reheat it, and was scooped from there into the red and white popcorn cups. At least this is how I remember it, but I could have it completely backwards. Maybe the popcorn was made there and then put into bags, not at all sure, must do a Hub on it...

Your theatrical partner sounds pretty overbearing, I wonder how the audience responded to her stealing the lime light over and over again lol.

Yes Brenda Lee was very big, must have just caught that wave. I still feel quite an affinity with her amazing voice, (and teenage angst love songs).

I can see the Audrey Hepburn connection for sure.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

I love your childish sweetness that you demonstrated when you named your Storybook Doll, Fragile. That same sweetness and tenderness pervades much of your poetry, m'dear, and makes it such a delight to read. Do not stop sharing these lovely reminiscences with us. Voted way Up.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

That is an intriguing subject, snakes: - how they handled that popcorn! Wonder if something similar is done nowadays! Would it pass the cleanliness rules?

Well, the audience was preponderantly composed of Everetts! So they saw no fault in her overbearing scene-stealing and I was never very flamboyant. But perhaps those thespian experiences contributed to a reticence which lasted half a lifetime.

Thank you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, dear DRBJ. - Yes, it was a child who named her doll Fragile. All part of her life story. She's long-since been all growedup, a fact her elder siblings never comprehended; but fortunately, I guess, one's nature doesn't outgrow. :-) Hugs.


ExoticHippieQueen 4 years ago

Nellieanna, this was just breathtaking, and your imagery was so creative and nostalgic. It made me feel both peaceful and also a little sad, as my soul recognized so many truths...........


daisyflowrs profile image

daisyflowrs 4 years ago from Richmond, VA

Who's Audrey Hepburn? Just kidding! (kinda). Humfrey Bogart days? Was she in that movie where she was supposed to meet some guy at the top of the building but she was hit by a taxi? I only know this from watching the movie, Sleepless in Seattle.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Daisy -- haha. No, not exactly Humphrey Bogart days, though they overlapped. I don't think of them in the same time-frame, though. He was born in 1899 & lived to 1957, the same year that movie you mention from "Sleepless In Seattle" was made, "Affair To Remember" , with Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr.

Bogey's film career spanned from 1920 to 1956.

Audrey Hepburn was born in 1923 and died in1993, with a film-making career from 1951-1989. Some of her memorable films were "Roman Holiday", "Sabrina Fair", "Breakfast At Tiffany's" and "My Fair Lady".


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Hi Nellieanna, I did a thorough internet search looking for the bagged popcorn method, and I did find a blog that reassured me this did actually happen. A woman wrote that she worked in movie theatre concession in the 50's (so long ago!). She said the popcorn came in big bags and had to be reheated. She didn't say exactly how this was done. I feel better now. I wondered if my memory had completely failed me, :) ps that fragile song is still with me all day today. It is so haunting.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Well, that IS a relief to know! I'm so glad you told me! Come to think of it, I've seen huge pre-popped bags of popcorn in grocery stores. Perhaps the movie popcorn inspired those. I always wondered how people managed to reheat and eat all that popcorn in those bags, unless they were like Mother Hubbard with so many kids she didn't know how to feed them!

Glad your memory is intact, too.

Ah yes - the Fragile song soothes and smoothes.


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Just to let you know Nellieanna I came back and re-read all our banter. You are the quintessential story teller. I think you just lure us in with pretty pictures and particularly profound poetic observations to provide a venue for your storys. Good work! You must have your memoir pretty filled out by now. (I am assuming you have a written copy saved of all the comments you've made.)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

By the way, I heard from Ian (Twilight Lawns) via email and told him about our banter here. So the lure may work both directions! He hadn't been by to read the hub! haha.

So - maybe you've uncovered my subconscious hidden agenda. I will confess that I started keeping copies of comments, great and small, including ALL of them on my my own hubs, early-on, with a slight thought that they might come in handy if and when I ever did get serious about doing a memoir. What I haven't resolved is how to organize or tie the bits and pieces together in any sort of readable fashion. The chronology of things is totally topsy-turvy, though I'm sort of obsessive about dating events and scribblings. But many of my accounts are just dangling in thin air.

But it does seem that I write more fluidly when there is someone on the other end of it at the time and when there is no pressure to do so. Probably a byproduct of having done most or all of my non-poetry writing over a lifetime in the form of very lengthy hand-written letters to friends and family, with the exception of school papers and essays. (I loved essay questions, as you might have guessed!) One memorable comment from an English teacher in Junior High in red along the margin of one of my essays said simply, "SWEEPING ASSERTION!" haha.

And my letters often had numerous sketches and fabric swatches or whatever other media I was into at the time.

Last fall, while searching for some keepsake or another, I opened a file box from my parents' stash of keepsakes and found it was literally stuffed with letters from me to them (and a few they had I'd written to other family members). These spanned the years from 1947 when I first went away to school, all through my several schools, then work, marriage, divorce, work again, and some time & events after I returned to Texas before Mother died in 1974. That's 27 years of Nellieanna verbosity! I couldn't believe reading some of them.

There are other periods in my life when I saved copies of letters to and from people in my 'stuff'. I was far from my family and friends during that bad 18-year-marriage and writing was my only link to them - to the outside world, nearly. Even writing was somewhat discouraged and often monitored. But my letters were never about that part of it, anyway. The last thing I wanted was to fuel it or stir alarm. Anyway - writing has been such a major part of my life.

Thank you for the lovely compliment.


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Well Nellieanna, you have enough resource material available with the letters, and the memories to put together a grand and inviting history. With images included of your wonderful artwork, and precious personal photo archives this could be a most welcome and enjoyable coffee table book, not to mention how many potential poetry books you have waiting to be published.


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Just a question to add to the mix Nellieanna, have you considered sending any of your poems, letters, reminiscences to any prestigious magazines for publication? (I could see a niche for you in the New Yorker, for example.)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

t's true. I've ample resource material, though I have a problem with repeating stuff. I always want to change something when I transcribe it! So might as well just write it then! haha.

My personal website is bursting with background info, too; - especially in "The Attic" series under "Heritage" (Section V). Another series in that Section is "The Flying Dutchman - My Very Roots", which is about the family ranch that I now own and where George and I spent so much time and loving care.

I've not even begun to transcribe all my poetry but the computer folder where they're stored says there are 1251 in it at present. Tiresome, isn't it? haha, And I keep writing more, though not quite as prolifically as at one period of my life.

________________

I've seen poetry contests and noticed poems by unknowns published in magazines, but, to be honest, that doesn't entice me much. Maybe that experience when I was 13, submitted a short story to SEVENTEEN magazine contest & was rejected- turned me off. I didn't mind not winning it, but the rejection letter was really cruel. It began, "We can't all be champs. . . ." sigh.

No - I'm not still harboring that crushing hurt, but just would 'druther publish as a collection, frankly. I've always thought my poetry 'speaks' better among some other of its own kind. Since most are short, it's not asking a lot of a taker to read more than one at a time. hehe.

But who knows? I never expected to be sharing them as now on HP either! I might feel differently about other avenues at some point.

But - sigh - Now I must confess that if I don't tear myself away and go up and work on taxes, I won't even have them far enough along to file for extension without risking huge penalties and interest for failure to pay enough!! The extension is only for getting the paperwork in, not for paying the bill! They fine heavily if it's used to delay paying! Hopefully when I post the main figures, including what I've been paying in quarterly estimated taxes and any other withheld through the year, I won't owe too much - at least not more than the bank balance can handle!

So forgive me if I'm quiet for a bit. I have till the P.O. closes tomorrow evening. I haven't set it up to pay online, but that might be another option. Anyway, I may be up all night. . . . HERE . . .I . . . G-O-O! -

Hugs, dear snakes! I just love our exchanging ideas and banter!


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Good luck with the filing, I know the feeling of last minute panic, you can do it, I know you can!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thanks, dear heart. I can! I can! Actually I really can !! :-) So - what am I doing here? A gal's gotta eat, doesn't she?? (and have a sip of a nice moselle)


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

"Distance really is relative.

A six-inch wall

Can be further away

Than half a continent".

These really are words that we ought all remember. It is so easy to just separate ourselves from others. Still there is a positive side to the "six inch wall". It can give us our own space and that can be a priceless asset sometimes.

Thanks again Nellieanna for your lovely words, and your wise thoughts.

Have you still got the doll?


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, Christopher! You're so right about that - on both counts. We can easily be isolated from others but just as easily, we can forfeit our own privacy and space. I've experienced it both ways. It can happen by choice, by imposition or just creep up on a one.

Actually, many of my keepsakes and all my dolls perished in a house fire when I was 11. So they survive only in my memory, and obviously they come to mind only occasionally, as part of general remembrance of childhood. Perhaps that's more vivid than a fading, still doll would be! (Or is that general truth, that mental imagery is more in Technicolor and activated than the actual is? hehe)


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Nellieanna, you have the most admirable ability to hit a nail on its head with only a few words.

I am speechless!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, my dear Martie. Hugs and love.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

Your work is just stunning! Beautifully penned with a real sense of painting with words. Lovely---


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

Brilliant, just brilliant. Yes, we must savor every precious moment we have here on this earth, as we are still here. In His Love, Faith Reaper


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Audrey! I'm stunned with the great honor of your visit and kind words! Thank you!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Faith Reaper - Yes, indeed. Perhaps it's a reason we are here - to learn and to practice just that! It expresses our joy in what we've been given more than mere words can. And I appreciate your welcom visit and welcome comments here! Thank you!


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 4 years ago from new delhi

how do i thank you Nellieanna for the pleasure you bring to my life when you write these four liners?

how do i thank you for making me think deeply about large things in life with these small four liners

How do i thank the Lord for you Nellieanna?

Each fragment

Is the whole.

Each moment

Is eternity.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

Just calling it like I see it--sharing your work!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

And Audrey - I'd expect no less of you! Thank you for sharing and for coming TO share.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Neelesh - I'm well aware that you think deeply as a natural thing for you. I'm pleased if my words add to it! My short little tidbits tucked into brief words and lines truly come from moments of light and awareness. Many of these musings have been at the times when they were written, highlights of my days. I've just not shared them before.

Thank you for appreciating what they contain. Hugs.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

There is nothing fragile about your command of words, your tasteful eye or your sense of style.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Mike - I'm grinning. What a nifty compliment! Thank you!


James-wolve profile image

James-wolve 4 years ago from Morocco

Rarely to find something as beautiful as this to read.Thanks so much for sharing and for giving me a moment of enjoyment and learning from you.Awesome,awesome,awesome.I voted up.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

James - Thank you! That's a most gratifying comment. It's wonderful to give someone a lovely moment and some learning! I'm so pleased you cam by! Thank you for your vote, too! And welcome to my Hubsite!


frogyfish profile image

frogyfish 4 years ago from Central United States of America

Beautifully succinct thoughts. I think my favorite is" "There is nothing better than what is...Even if what is is an ache for what is not." Marvelously spoken! Also enjoyed the music and photography of the video.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Frogyfish- a lovely comment! Thank you. It seems we've all known that 'ache for what is not'. I hope my line gives it a bit more positive perspective. To love life means to accept both its hills and its valleys.

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