A Gifted Thinker
i walk through the wood
in an irreverent mood
i challenge my thinking
i get the feeling I'm sinking.
i walk by the trees,I watch the skies
im sharing nature,she continually tries.
i walk till I tire, till I lose my breath
what am I feeling,possibly death.
puffing and panting,sweating too hard
begin to cry,let down my guard.
am I alone in this confusion,have unwanted guests
am i consistent with truth,on my sanity rests.
decent to the core,conscientious to the last
my happiness suffers,has my sanity past.
trouble deciphering reality from a fake
how many turns expected,how many can I take.
till I push it too far,till I take it to the edge
sanity cut down,removing another wedge.
harsh,severe,daunting and testing
cant climb anymore,supposed to be resting.
calm deserts my mind,uncertainty sets in
i have to pull through,I really must win.
the difference between life and death
giving it though leaves me out of breath.
trudging forward feel like I'm going back
distressing all the while,will my sanity crack.
tough in the mind,determined im my soul
still not sure if my life has a goal
inevitable changes,upsets and a test
do I go alone.or follow the rest.
ultimate betrayal when rationality makes a choice
you feel like your lost,like you have no voice.
emotions climb higher,than ever before
get your mind back on track,settle the score.
rational thought as unpredictable as dreams
is it so obvious,is it really what it seems.
will i recover my best,can I get back to a level
will I lose it altogether,will my enemies revel.
take pleasure in my distress,laugh at what they see
will they ever be present to see the old me.
only time will tell,till now it's not been great
i guess that's the truth,or is it just fate.
Total adventure,not always good.
throughout my life of ups and downs
moved about regularily,some good towns.
growing up ,daily battles and choices
never time to settle,try to ignore the voices.
seeming normal at times,or at times on the take
emotional turmoil,try not to look fake..
pleasing one,upsetting the other
cant please everyone,why even bother.
Mind travels here.
im very cautious usually,ive always been a thinker.i tend to assess a situation for some time before ever making a choice.infuriating to some no doubt,but reassuring to myself.i feel if I jump in without thinking,the outcome could be catastrophic.taking risks without thinking is ok for some people,but I like to think out situations each time to make sure I do the right thing,it's not such a bad trait.i tend not to make many mistakes in life,when I do I lose the plot literally.i find it hard to forgive myself and even harder on myself if I can't rectify my mistake.
And ends up here.
ive nothing against risk takers,I quite admire them in fact.i feel they are ultimately very brave going through life without thinking too much about the consequences.life is an even balance game I think,if we didn't have equal amounts of safety conscious people and risk takers,ultimately the word would be very boring.we would have no one to gasp at in shock as they make and conquer the sometimes mental and physical challenges they set for themselves.while people like myself are trying to keep the equilibrium in a settled fashion.
growing up i was a bit timid to say the least.i had very infrequent visits to doctors or hospitals.i grew up having a type of fear and respect for the hospital and general practitioners.i had not seen the inside of a hospital for twenty years till I had kids.out of the five girls,there's been three broken bones, a fractured skull, dislocated elbows,broken fingers.a veritable array of tests for the many practitioners and specialists a hospital employs.my nerves were tested on a regular basis,kids can be so clumsy and daft at times.they gave me food for thought on so many occassions ive lost count.
Face it head on.
if your thinking of having a family,the best advice I can give is,never hide from the daily challenges kids set for you,and challenge you the most definitely will.they test you mentally and physically.the only way to deal with the challenges ,is to take them head on.its the only way to go.if you shy away from them,your kids will see your weaknesses and test you if they can.kids are amazing wee people,but they can take advantage if allowed to do so.the old saying,give an inch they take a mile.never a more truthful statement has ever been made,and very appropriate with regards to children.
The calming of the stress.
i go through life worrying about the daftest things.i look at people in the street ,and I can sense their pain and suffering.a persons face and motion can tell so much about how they are,and what they've been through in life.i can react in the correct way when talking to someone judging by the way they approach me,it a gift passed down from my late mother.it has served me so well in the past.it has got me out of ,possibly some tricky situations.being able to read people is a handy skill to have.if a person appears troubled,a lot of the time a friendly ear given is often the greatest helper.