Admit.it

LEPTIRELA

" A good-bye is only painful if you know you'll never say hello again."
" A good-bye is only painful if you know you'll never say hello again."
... not
... not
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------  " You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is Until you have lost it."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- " You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is Until you have lost it."
Tears are words the heart can't express
Tears are words the heart can't express
 You may hold my hand for a while, but you hold my heart forever.
You may hold my hand for a while, but you hold my heart forever.
All prayers are answered if we are willing to admit that sometimes the answer is "no
All prayers are answered if we are willing to admit that sometimes the answer is "no

Admit It

And, here we go again it's like a merry-go-round with

excuse after excuse. (admit it)

I am beginning to feel my fall as I stare

at his words bewildered at how much feel he

possesses yet lies to himself.

Sleepless should be my name,there I go pouring my heart and soul

to a human-robot, like programmed he controls

my fear, my emotion my living.

End after end, Goodbye+Goodbye,,(admit it)

Oh my dear friend.(admit it)

It's like I am being held in this cage against my own will, never mind the heart

In the darkness he takes my every word, swallows it like its nothing

and spits it right out knowing it will stick

and stay in each part of the ground he walks on

the ground I wholeheartedly worship, apart from GOD.


The truth, huh! the truth is in which beholder?! what beauty (admit it)

could possibly exist in one human which does not exist in the other?!

Destiny may have taken him years apart from me, stolen-like

anything would hurt less if he could spell the truth letter by letter

to form at least one word that I know would make all the difference.

Sad is this, trembling with fury wanting to walk out this door right at this moment

and taking back my key.

I can see her, I can feel her there next to him wanting more from him that he can't possibly

give because way too much has been spent. I am the next excuse of attempt

to make things happen, to imagine a new day, a new word to say.. anything to make the love grow

and stay. What the lips wont say the heart will keep it secret. (admit it)

Destiny, 7 beautiful letters wasted ! sadly, a letter short.

God is my judge in the darkness of what was meant from him,

not 'man' who draws a path for us to walk on.

Where in the world, do believers find the answer to that.

Fate shook my hand and ripped my arm away from my shoulder, because I too

refused to look it straight in the eye and fight for what is mine.

Weaker than ever I pull my self close to understand

why loving from a distance is a sin.


Dear Lord , forgive him because I will.

Just don't allow him to take away the pain I have held for so long

the only thing I have left to remind me of my living.

I will weep in humbleness, I will , I have progressed from stage to a stage with it

My patience, please excuse it...for it too, has lost way with sense.

Best we go our separate ways, cliche?! ... no, our seperate ways will always

lead to the path GOD intended, no matter where our prints take our feet

no matter who , we follow.


Her eyes are like coffee, no wander he's still awake.(admit it)

But it's my ocean he swims, I make no mistake..The wind chime hangs

it tells me he's gone.


'I must go now' he says.


Those unspoken words are left with me again.

My mind knows this blindfolded and where it intends to end.

There goes my once-love, now stranger friend.




































Comments 23 comments

PenMePretty 5 years ago from Franklin

Honey...OMG...this is beyond brilliant. I relate perfectly.

So proud of you for this masterpiece. A++


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 5 years ago from I don't know half the time Author

Thank you PenMePretty :))


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

"Sleepless should be my name,there I go pouring my heart and soul

to a human-robot"

ah i know this feeling, i once was in love with a human-robot, his heart made of tin. he showed no emotions, unless he was drunk, and i spilled my heart out to him on occasion only to have him spit it back at me, and walk on my words. he threw my feelings out the door and closed it. "swallowed it like it was nothing"

this was really good, intense.


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 5 years ago from I don't know half the time Author

thanks Nikki :)

Indeed , intense. I understand what your saying :)

which is why am more determined to go ahead

and move further on....just taking MY OWN TIME!

:)


Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 5 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

Hi Minela, I was just transfixed by this amazing poem. You are a slave romantically to one person in this, and it is uncanny that you are both so involved and caught in the gravity of each other, like 2 planets that can't escape each other. Except he seems to escape you and knows you cannot escape him. Perhaps that is the idea I am supposed to find here in these words.

My partner Cassy has a brilliant saying and I have to include it here ... the lover "..has to put you first." Do you understand what that means? If they don't do that then it is not an equal relationship. Your man must put you above all others. I don't think you have ever been put first in your relationship. Sorry for saying this, but in a few of your poems, you seem to be almost like the other person's slave or pet, someone who is confined and constricted, where movement is prevented.

I am sorry if my comment is in any way improper. I don't mean anything bad by it. It is my observation based on your amazing poem here. It just totally got me thinking. I am worried about what little you are getting out of this relationship. But I liked reading it and I am rating it up.

Ps, at the end of the hub, before the comments, there is a big empty white space. Maybe my browser is not showing whatever ought to be there. Take care.


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 5 years ago from I don't know half the time Author

hahah : Astra Nomik: excellent observation.

I am happy you analysed that to the core!

Good news:: I am no longer in that relationship - however this haunts me. It's something I won't ever escape/forget it is a major part of me... and have a partner :) who always puts me first. :)

Alas you have everything right there... maybe I was not a pet... but certainly a toy and that's the feeling I'm left with and more , perhaps worse because I would give anything to believe this is not what's happened, and that it was real , no lies, nothing fake... no passing time.. sadly I'm still wanting answers. This is the last, very last poem that I write about this certain haunting. :)

Thank you for reading and voting up , appreciated.

The space below the hub :) I tried to edit it as it wasn't done intentionally... I am now leaving it..

just the way it is.. the gap is probably meant to be there :) this is unfinished in a way... but it is the final poem about this certain trauma.

I wrote this last night after a short and tense conversation and that's what inspired me to just close it!


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

it took me a over a year. i hope you dont take as long to move on. it was a lot of heartache for me.


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 5 years ago from I don't know half the time Author

Oh Nikki :)) I have already 'moved on'

it took a decade and more :)

though you still live with the unanswered ...

The next set of my poetry will be about NOW!

So watch this space :)


Sky321 profile image

Sky321 5 years ago from Canada

Very touching and heartbreaking. Voted up and awesome!!


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 5 years ago from I don't know half the time Author

Thank you for Sky321 :)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

Hi, amazing poem, it speaks from the heart, rated up! cheers nell


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 5 years ago from I don't know half the time Author

Thank you nell :))


stricktlydating profile image

stricktlydating 5 years ago from Australia

That's an awsome romantic poem!


4elements profile image

4elements 5 years ago

I felt it. it was a beautiful peice. you are a most talented writer. blessings peace, love, and light


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

..well I have to admit it - everytime I arrive here at your hallowed hubspace there is always something exciting to read ..... and I love how you're always soul searching and looking for answers (which may or may not come - that's life as you know - and that's poetry!)


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 5 years ago from I don't know half the time Author

hehe hey epigraman I have just completed Cold distance

hub ... trying to conceal my direct message however having trouble with what I was about to say heheh in the last line I have written ...Life, the bitch aint fair..

now excuse my vulgar approach but as you say...it may or may not come...

searching for the truth was the ultimate goal in a lot in life ...just not as easy as we want,,,

Again thank you for leaviung a scratch ;)

always welcome


nighthag profile image

nighthag 5 years ago from Australia

a powerful poem, so full of emotion and broken dreams it had me entralled


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 5 years ago from I don't know half the time Author

thanks for stopping by nighthag :) indeed emotions all over


icciev profile image

icciev 4 years ago from Kuwait

awesome poem, thanks for sharing this well written words


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 4 years ago from I don't know half the time Author

Thanks icciev


4elements profile image

4elements 18 months ago

merry go rounds are meant for amusement not relationships. put you first after all you know you best. second to love someone is to die if the other does not except the death there is no way to continue to the new life meant to walk together as one. in a sense your old self is dying so you can become the new self together in love. love is always a work in progress. never get comfortable, never stop, and never give up.


4elements profile image

4elements 18 months ago

beautiful


Leptirela profile image

Leptirela 18 months ago from I don't know half the time Author

Thank you @4elements for your insight. I agree totally :)

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