I'm in denial about it
The cooking needs to be done, the beds made, the shopping done. Name it, it has to be done. That's on a simple daily sort of level. Almost everything comes before writing. Till there's almost no job left undone. After all, isn't there a house to be run, don't we need to eat and isn't a clean bed a nicer place to sleep in etc etc?? I tell myself I'm 'getting to the writing', in a minute, just after this chore or that, but in fact, I'm whirling away in domestic neurosis.
More seriously, I believe (have thoroughly convinced myself) that in order to write I have to get to the end of the writing work, that I can't just break off a thought or a sentence here there and everywhere. I need absolute peace and quiet. AND I need a long period of uninterrupted time, like an entire afternoon, without appointments or people coming home etc. It's a genius procrastination tactic! It's a high high wall to climb over.
Since it's almost impossible to have that sort of quiet and no interruptions I believe I've created the perfect catch 22. So, hey, I can't start writing - and secretly I blame the whole world for this. I become fed up with 'them' but really I'm fed up with myself. I could even have arguments with people in my home about this. Fun stuff like this!
All this creative self loathing potentially eats away at any confidence I might have had before the day began when the mind was true and the idea fresh and possible, and prevents the work from beginning.
The work, the unwritten work, now feels tainted by external imperfections!
I do not admit immediately to the fear that is lurking about inside myself...oh no...that's too straight on!
That is how cunning my procrastination is.
It is FEAR wrapped up in excuses; a slow breaking down of something simple and pure (a gift) into all sorts of distractions..into a complicated whirlwind of dilly dallying.
It's so important to nail it!