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Dianna Mendez says
You're right, they do know. As does my daughter's great aunt. But it would certainly be nice to be able to say the words.
I hope you can forgive yourself. I believe in the afterlife your mom sees and knows that you were so young and a typical teen. The guilt is unnecessary, but the love behind the guilt, I'm sure she recognizes that and watches over you. Love and hugs:)