I'm so sorry, I didn't realise this question was posted, but thank you for asking. It's even more insidious - she focuses on the photoshopped and surgically enhanced 'perfection' in the media and is in the cycle of trying to achieve it. But it's just not possible (especially for the photoshopped images) so she is stuck with her 'flaws' and the internal voice of judgment (the beholder) which says you're not good enough and NEVER will be. It's irrational and part of her knows it (hence the opening question) but the pull of this OCD behaviour outweighs any rational behaviour. I'm glad you like that line because it exemplifies the powerful and direct internal voice that controls her.
I wrote a poem with related themes called The Black Angel's Yen, which is up as a hub.