The LIFE of my LIFE is gone: A POEM

The LIFE of my LIFE is gone: A POEM


This is a real life story. My heart is broken today December 22nd, 2012 when my Mom (Mrs Chinyere Ubani) passed on. I am still feeling the shock and hurt because my Mama died of a painful breast cancer disease.


Sequel †Φ her death, we tried all forms of treatment and for the fact that she suffered painfully before her death lives my heart bleeding. She was the closest person †Φ me even in our differences and I loved her without compare. She made me. Now I remember all the promises I made †Φ her when I become somebody in life and I just feel weak.


My once plump and agile mama was so devastated by the illness that she grew old overnight, her face wrinkled and her voice became silent echoes (she could barely utter a word). She was a shadow of herself. My eyes peppered in tears each time I looked at her and she would beg me not †Φ cry and be strong for her. She fought seen and unseen forces of evil for four painful years before the hands of death gripped her. ( I am here typing away my emotions and my sister is some meters away in tears like a baby) Mama was a strong woman who believed she would scale through the trial that later choked her life.




Mama, I will fight your fight and be rest assured that you will forever be dear †Φ my heart. My heart bleeds and I am worried that you will not be around †Φ reap the fruit of your labor.


(In her honor, I will write my first novel detailing my experiences, the trials and controversies surrounding her death)





The LIFE of my LIFE is gone: A POEM


†Φ the woman who gave me life

The one who nursed my tender body

The woman who gave me love

The one whose breast I sucked

On your laps I played


You watched my every move

Kissed my every chuckle

Smiled at my first speech

Taught me †Φ walk

Woke in the middle of the night

Lull me †Φ sleep

Through months of agony carried me

Your womb was a safe haven


My dearest angel

My love and everlasting mother

My champion


I see you, beautiful

I salute your courage

I worship your guts

You are my everything


My memory is the store of your affection

Like flashes your goodness keep storming

The joyful moments

Those days of tears and pain

Years of bitter struggle, suffering and sorrow

Together we matched on in hope


Mama I am sad

My face painted with colors of hate

My body smells of bitterness

My heart cries for revenge

My heart bleeds of pure charcoal

Please let this be a dream

Tell me it is not true

Pinch me and tell me it is a hallucination

Somebody talk †Φ me

My eyes shed blood

Face rumpled with anger amid unfulfilled promises

Bitterness unmatched


Even Kokura's luck I couldn't will

Like a withered leaf, you are no more

Gone like the shadows of time

Knees cut by an alien ailment

Breast cut open by a wicked disease

~BREAST CANCER~

Your voice is gone

Your once radiating body

Old, thin and wrinkled

Your pain obvious even in death

I can't believe you are gone

Please come back

Shake off those pains

Stay with me, for in you I have faith


But like the Mayan prophecy

Doom have eclipsed my future

I am devastated and lonely

Angry and dejected

Restless and conquered

Life is now meaningless.




All RIGHTS RESERVED!

Reading from the heart of a sober man!

COPYRIGHT - Alexander Thandi Ubani


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Comments 22 comments

Sunnie Day 3 years ago

My sweet friend, I am so so sorry with all my heart. If only I could reach through and give you the biggest hug, letting you know you are not alone. My prayers and thoughts are with you today and in the future. You have my FB and if you need a friend I am here. Sending my condolences and love your way. As a mother, I know your wonderful mom is so proud of the man you are and will want you to continue in life, knowing you were loved and cared for beyond this shell of a body we have here on earth. Your mother has and will reap the fruit of her labor as you are here and are the wonderful man she has raised

Love,

Sunnie


Louisa Rogers profile image

Louisa Rogers 3 years ago from Eureka, California and Guanajuato, Mexico

i feel for you. The loss of our mothers, she who ushered us into the world, is always hard. May the strength she had with her life and illness carry over to you.


Melovy profile image

Melovy 3 years ago from UK

So sorry to read of your loss. Mothers hold a very special place in our hearts. Wishing you solace in your time of grief.


rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 3 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

I feel sorry for your loss. I can understand your pain as exactly 2 years back to this day I lost my mom to breast cancer as well. This is a beautiful tribute to your mom and I know she must be looking on you proudly from up there!


Poohgranma profile image

Poohgranma 3 years ago from On the edge

Oh friend, my heart aches for your sadness and anger. I pray all that is wholly and good surrounds her now and that she rests from the horrid pain of cancer. I'm sure she is very proud of you. A mother's connection to her son is a strong cord that surpasses even death. My first son died but I know by God's grace, I will see him again some day when it's time for me to leave this world and go to our Father. I pray that you too will be reunited with your dear Mom.


The Stages Of ME profile image

The Stages Of ME 3 years ago

So sorry for your loss. Carry on for your mom, she will be so proud of your efforts. It is a difficult time, I pray you can go to a place of knowing her peace is so beautiful now, as she waits for you. Blessings :)


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 3 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Oh, my dear...I am sending you the biggest hug as I cry too for your loss.

When we first met, you wrote me that you would love your Momma even more due to my writing. And I know in my heart that you are the kind of son a Mother dreams of having.

Baby, you will always miss her but please know she resides in your heart. She wants you to keep going. She does NOT want your life to be embittered with thoughts of revenge. And you will indeed see her again.

If I can ever help you, please let me know...My thoughts are with you always. Love, Maria


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 3 years ago from Lagos Author

Sunnie,

Louisa,

Melovy,

rajan,

Poohgranma,

The Stages Of ME and

marcoujor,

Thank you all for the comforting words.

I'd request that Ʊ put my family and myself in Ʊr prayers.

This is the saddest moment in my life cos my mom was everything †Φ me and she still will always be.

Thandi


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 3 years ago from New York City

My mother was taken away by this disease and it in my eyes was the food she consumed, the angers and stresses of day to day living trying to raise my younger brothers, and my step father that was the final straw for here.

Yes, she was consumed from limb to limb by breast cancer, I recommend you try your darnedest to see the light at the end of the tunnel. She nurtured a powerful dude, who has a loving way about him, and she made no mistake because you are so passionate about your writings, and about life.

I can tell all this about you from reading this heart felt tribute to her (Please don't harbor any ill feelings towards other, no matter what), so you better hold on for dare life, which I have done myself, never give up any of her teachings, she wants you to continue to succeed bro!

My mother was just like yours, she was once healthy, once vibrant, and now her legacy lives on through her 5 sons, we have no sisters. Please try to relax your mind a bit, and I truly can empathize with your loss, we lost her to breast cancer back in 2006, but her spirit lives on for sure, and her life is celebrated all year round by us all.

Good Luck and Happy Holidays Ubanichijioke.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

Oh Thandi, I am so sorry. Please don't be angry. Go to your God. He will comfort you. You are a wonderful writer. Death of our Mother is so sad. I remember it well..


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 3 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Thandi, Your talent is as powerful as the love you have for your dear mother. Though I don't know you, I feel your pain, palpable through your words. Your have a gift that you can share with the world in your writing. I am very sorry that your beautiful mother suffered. The thought is unbearable, as we all have a special love for the special woman we call mother. My sincere condolences are with you and your family in your most painful loss, Thandi.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

A wonderful and heartfelt tribute to your mom. You know she is and always will be right by your side and knowing that you miss and love her so much she is smiling at you from heaven above. My sympathies to you and your family. God bless.


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 3 years ago from Lagos Author

CloudExplorer

Ruby

Amy Becherer

Gypsy Rose Lee 

I take so much solace from Ʊ all. It makes me feel comforted and relieved with so much love and care from Ʊ all.

I'd for sure stick †Φ your advice Cloudexplorer and eschew any form of grudge(s).

†Φ Ʊ all my dear friends, I'd say a million thanks.

Ubani Alexander Thandi


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 3 years ago from New York

I don't know how to express the sorrow and compassion I feel for you. It sounds like your mother was a brave and loving mother who would want you to go on as a loving son and a loving person. God bless.

Voted up and beautiful for this beautiful tribute.


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 3 years ago from Lagos Author

Dear Mary,

I am most encouraged by Ʊr kind words. I sure will strive †Φ make my Mama proud. Thanks so much

Thandi


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 3 years ago from Somewhere in the West

Hey i am so sorry to hear about your mum's death, cancer sure is a nasty demon that eats your body away. I've seen it dwindle humans to almost skeleton.

I share your sadness and do pray that God comfort your heart as well as your family and relatives for your great lost. Please remember vengeance is mines sayeth the LORD i will repay leave everything is in His hands and He'll do what he has to in time.

Don't do anything that you will regret later on in life. GOD alone knows why everything happen okay and He is angry with the wicked everyday and the wicked shall not always prosper.

Take care and keep courage


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 3 years ago from Lagos Author

Thanks Ladyfiddler, your advice is timely and of great importance.

You are right and I will leave vengeance †Φ God.

Thanks for the show of care.

Be most blessed!

Thandi


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 3 years ago from Somewhere in the West

You're most welcome doesn't make sense fighting evil with evil fight them with kindness, even if you know what they have done to your mum its hard but it's still worth a try. I know you'll miss your mum and it will take a lot of time to heal. Just keep in prayer bravely run the race till you see Christ and all sorrows will erase when you see Jesus.

No wicked thing shall go unpunished God deals with His time and not ours okay .

How u doing now?


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 3 years ago from Lagos Author

Dear Ladyfiddler,

I am doing fine and your words are full of wisdom and understanding. I have taken so much courage and solace in those words.

Like my brother said 'God knows the reason why he allowed such things to happen and not that he cannot do anything, but the fact maybe what he has in store for us is far more better than what our mere eyes may be seeing now'

I am really strengthened by the belief that all that happened was for the best and one day I will see my Mama again.

Thanks my dear friend. May you remain forever blessed.

Thandi


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 3 years ago from Somewhere in the West

Your brother is right and with that attitude he is on the right part. As humans we never see or know why God does things His way it may take years for us to see the benefits. If only we can take it to The Lord in prayer we'll never be discourage to many times we want our own way and place God on the shelf. You certainly need Him now so hold on to Him and don't let go.


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 3 years ago from Lagos Author

Dear Ladyfiddler,

I am confident of a better future and also will put all my faith in God. I am very optimistic that the almighty's plans are bigger than what I may have envisaged. He knows all the best I can have and I am confident of his help in this most trying and difficult time. It isn't easy I must confess but am trying all I can to unlock my heart from the convergence of painful events preceding my Mama's death. Even though I cry at times when I remember the awesome experiences we had, I have made up my mind to be strong. I know things will be better soon and your assurance is of immense help.

Thanks a million times, Ladyfiddler.

Thandi


lemmyC profile image

lemmyC 3 years ago from UK

Nwannem, Ndo! Accept my heart felt sympathy. May the God of all comfort, comfort you.

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