deflated

your absence

leaves me breathless.

empty corners

vacant spaces

where you used to reside

make me feel homeless

and fragile.

everything and nothing

all of the spaces in between

what we used to feel

what we feel now

what i yearn for

and what i no longer can accept

invade me

and flood me with the knowledge

of you.

no longer is your absence OK

no longer can i be denied your scent

my mind flushes with vivid images of you.

the smell of your exhale as you sleep

the way you'd trace my shape with your eyes

as you would whisper to me

that you were going to be different

better

i want all of you

because your ugly

is as precious to me

as your beauty.

i speak to you silently at night

even though you aren't there

and fill your silence

with everything you've ever said to me

when all is quiet

at the moment in between wake and sleep

i can hear your heavy breaths

and it sooths me.







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Comments 17 comments

Johnny 4 years ago

Thank you. I am pleased by your emotions. I love to read your heart. This is divine,"as you would whisper to me

that you were going to be different

better

i want all of you

because your ugly

is as precious to me

as your beauty."

You are wonderful


duffsmom profile image

duffsmom 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest, USA

Wow - well done!


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 4 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

Oh johnny thank you so much. My feelings for him have lain dorment for so long and im feeling so much now. You appreciating my work means so much.


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 4 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

Thank you duffsmom. Its taken me forever to find the words.


zzron profile image

zzron 4 years ago from Houston, TX.

Wow, this was really awesome. You really know how to touch the soul.


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

I have not read your work for a long time. This poem simply amazed me. It feels good to read you again.


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 4 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

You guys are so awesome. Im going to try really hard to do at least one a week. You have no idea what ive been going through. But i feel im ready to start posting again.


sligobay profile image

sligobay 4 years ago from east of the equator

Welcome home Pink'Um. I am deflated without your heart, however pained. Our memories are forever freshly imprinted upon our souls. A familiar throbbing breath is often overlooked until it is no longer present. Slumber and dream and cling to the moments which sooth.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 4 years ago from Louisiana

"because your ugly is as precious to me as your beauty." Love doesnt get any deeper than that. When you can love someone and accept them for everything they are..flaws and all. That is beautiful. Its painful that we can love someone so much even when he's not there...or perhaps doesnt even love us back... The heart can be quite pathetic at times, but it is in that that it is strong. Never giving up, always holding on, always picking itself up, healing.

"i speak to you silently at night

even though you aren't there

and fill your silence

with everything you've ever said to me"

I've been there and I've done that. Remembering all the things he said and how we were together is the worst part and the hardest part to get over. Let them be good memories, and make new memories..with someone that IS there.


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 4 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

Nikki - hes out there bettering himself and when he is through he will be someone that's there.we just got so close before he left that its even harder to be without him now. :(


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 4 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

Slingo i love when you read my work :)


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 4 years ago from Louisiana

Well thats good that he is trying to better himself. and even better that you are going to wait for him. I hope he will be there sooner rather than later. I know waiting can really suck and can get pretty hard but just keep faith and remember how much you love him. Hope it works out for you!


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 4 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

Thanks nikki im using the time to work on myself. Im seeing it as an opportunity to grow. Still miss him like crazy though


Kebennett1 profile image

Kebennett1 4 years ago from San Bernardino County, California

Very nice. You can really feel the emotions. A well written piece.


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 4 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

Hey thanks lady!


CastleQueen profile image

CastleQueen 4 years ago from West Virginia

Love this one too... I love

"because your ugly

is as precious to me

as your beauty."

I think this should be every relationship - Love the good and the bad. :D


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 4 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

thank you so much!!!

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