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Coming to a Junction

  1. CharlotteCrownell profile image74
    CharlotteCrownellposted 2 years ago

    Its a sleepy day today
    the sky is dusted
    with bullet smoke and powdered sugar.
    The barren trees
    rigidly shake their long white fingers.
    raking the sky.
    We travel down Acorn road.
    Passing an old decrepit barn, grain feeder and haybales.
    We pass an abandoned bus
    surrounded by angry cedar trees
    that needle the sky with their thorny arms.
    patches of chartreuse grass dot the countryside
    little mishaped blots of rainwater gather.
    More abandoned farm houses.
    Rows of cottonwoods with a creek winding alongside
    A weathered barn-red fence stretches across the lonely hills.
    We've reached a Junction.
    -Margaret Crownell

    1. Writer Fox profile image79
      Writer Foxposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Do you realize that you have just duplicated your entire Hub on this forum post?  If you can still edit this, you should remove your post.

      1. Fiction Teller profile image60
        Fiction Tellerposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        Yikes, yes - so it is! I second Writer Fox's motion. You don't want your actual content on the forum. smile

  2. Fiction Teller profile image60
    Fiction Tellerposted 2 years ago

    Wow.  Remarkable poem.  Very powerful.

    It needs a teeny bit more, though - it's a bit too committed to what it is, a ride down a road.  Needs a bit more of the allegorical element suggested in the "bullet smoke and powdered sugar" and the "abandoned bus."

    The poem's last line is almost determinate enough to take the reader into that realm on its own, but...not quite. 

    If that doesn't make sense...I want to see my own specific "critical junctions" in the words and images, and I almost do, but I still need just a little more of a booster from the text to tell me I'm not taking that journey alone.

    But a beautiful poem even as is.

    1. CharlotteCrownell profile image74
      CharlotteCrownellposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks for the positive feedback! I'm new to this blogging thing so I wasn't sure.

 
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