You'll get a chuckle out of this one I'm sure...

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   Zsuzsy Beeposted 14 years ago

   When I came home from my working stint as Easter bunny (spending a few days with my granddaughters)
   
   this is what I found in my email box
   
   along with a dozen or so announcements of my 40 - 60.5 million US dollar winnings
   
   I just had to share (the chuckler, not the millions, those are all for me muuuuaaahhaha)
   
   
   
   Just in Case You Get a Cheque....
   
   
   Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive an Economic Stimulus payment i.e HST rebate.  This is a very exciting program from the Ontario government.
   
   I'll explain it using the Q and A format:
                   ---------------------------
   Q.  What is Ontario 's Economic Stimulus payment?
   A.  It is money that the provincial government will send to taxpayers.
   
   Q..  Where will the government get this money?
   A.  From taxpayers..
   
   Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money?
   A.  Only a smidgen.
   
   Q.  What is the purpose of this payment?
   A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
   
   Q.  But isn't that stimulating the economy of Asia ?
   A.  Shut up or you don't get your cheque.
   
   
   Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Canadian economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
          
   1.  If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, your money will go to China
   
   2.  If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia .
   
   3.  If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
    
   4.  If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala..
   
   5.  If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea
   
   6.  If you purchase useless plastic stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
   
   7.  If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to pay management bonuses and be hidden in offshore accounts.   
   
   
   
   Or..., you can keep the money in Canada by:
   
   1.   spending it at yard sales or flea markets, or     
   2.   going to baseball or football games, or     
   3.   hiring prostitutes, or     
   4.   buying cheap beer or     
   5.   getting tattoos.
   These are the only wholly-owned businesses still operating in Canada .
   
   
   Conclusion:
   
   The best way to stimulate the economy is to go to a ball game with a prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day until you're drunk enough to go get tattooed.

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   earnestshubposted 14 years ago

   That does sound like the perfect solution. Can I get the prostitute at the yard sale?
   Very funny Zsuzy Bee!

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   Justine76posted 14 years ago

    

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   Danny R Handposted 14 years ago

   Hell, I believe I'll stimulate Americas economy with that plan!

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   Lecieposted 14 years ago

   lmao...this is so true that i can't help but to lmao...hope it doesn't take off to another country or i'll need the stimulus money to pay it's ransom.

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   habeeposted 14 years ago

   Sounds like a plan to me!!

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   Ivorwenposted 14 years ago

     Rather pathetic, isn't it... Of course, there is also Etsy, as an alternative to flea markets. 
   
   When I was in Canada, I was amazed at all the things made in the USA that I found.  Things I had never seen here.  It really made wonder what was wrong.

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   timorousposted 14 years ago

   Hey Zsuzsy;  You're quite right. It's really just smoke and mirrors.  They're just trying to soften us up to deal with the upcoming HST next year, which will make some things more expensive.
   
   Of course in the summer months, you can spend your stimulus money on home-grown vegetables and fruits from local farmer's markets.  Ontario peaches are the best.  If you're from Florida or California, I'm sorry..your peaches are just too hard and dense, even when they're picked ripe.  The Ontario peaches are really juicy, with a slightly mealy texture..mmmmm.
   
   Well, I seem to have gone off-topic a bit.  Still..good day to ya.

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   Zsuzsy Beeposted 14 years ago

   It's all in fun only

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    cloudy daysposted 14 years ago

    lol, yup definitely got a chuckle out of me!

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    Crazdwriterposted 14 years ago

    that was funny...so when are u going to share your millions? hehehe please Zsuzsy Bee? hehehe

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       Zsuzsy Beeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Should I share???? I don't know...
       Crazdwriter my latest winnings were for a measly 405 million, I'm not so sure that I have that much to spare... let me think...okay, why don't I put in a good word for you with my recently found best friend Mrs Fredericka Toulaise in Nigeria. I'm almost sure she could rustle up a long lost rich cousins cousin for you too...naturally one who died of a mysterious sickness  a while back. How is that? Good idea? Will that help? hehehehe

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    Cagsilposted 14 years ago

    That was too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    Thank you very much Zsuzsy Bee

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    kj8posted 14 years ago

    This actually worked in my country, we all got a hand out twice in six months

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    ralwusposted 14 years ago

    I personally like the prostitute plan. That sounds so invigorating and then she can pay her pimp and dope dealer too and they can go to the ball games.

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