We all need a good chuckle when it comes to Barack Obama, he's done such a horrible job as President that we need to laugh. Here's some of the most recent ones. Feel free to add your own.
Have you heard what BP really stands for? Barack's Petrina. -Flightkeeper
President Obama says he would have fired BP CEO Tony Hayward if he worked for him. Unfortunately, the White House works for BP, so his hands are tied. -Jay Leno
President Obama is going to visit India this November, in response to Prime Minister Singh's invitation, though mostly, he's going over there to visit our jobs. -Jimmy Fallon
President Obama spoke at Kalamazoo's central high school graduation ceremony in Michigan. He told the students they could be anything they want to be, but if they could be oil leak experts, that could be great." -Jimmy Fallon
What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary? One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. -David Letterman
Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. -Conan O'Brien
"Today, by the way, is our president, President Obama's, one-year anniversary in office. I looked it up. Traditionally on the first anniversary, you give paper, so, I got him his birth certificate." -Jimmy Kimmel
"Barack Obama's daughters are very smart. They told him they will take the same responsibility for the dog that he is taking for the economy. That way, if the dog leaves a mess in the White House, it'll be cleaned up by future generations." --Jay Leno
"President Obama made a surprise visit to Iraq this week where he declared it is time for Iraqis to take responsibility for their country. Said Iraqis, 'You guys first.'" --Seth Meyers
"While he was in Mississippi yesterday, President Obama ate mini crab cakes, fried shrimp and shrimp salad sandwiches to show Americans that seafood from the Gulf Coast is safe to eat. And if you don't believe Obama ate all that stuff, just ask our new president, Joe Biden. He'll tell you." –Jimmy Fallon
"President Obama also ordered a lemon-lime snow cone on the beach. A little awkward. Obama was like, 'Forget the oil spill for a minute. Can we figure out how to fix the leaks in the bottom of these paper cone things?'" –Jimmy Fallon
Astronomers have spotted an object in space that they say is potentially dangerous, yet for a year it's just sat out there and has done nothing. For that, they've named the object COMET OBAMA. - RadioFree Rocky D
And marine biologists have spotted the deepest living fish ever, near the ocean floor at the Earth's lowest point. They're calling it, the Barack Obama Approval Ratings Fish. - RadioFree Rocky D
Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself? A. Because it would be racist. - unattributed
President Obama decided to do one of his public addresses against the backdrop of an American farm, but the ceremony couldn't get started because of all the flies buzzing around his head. Obama demanded to know why the flies wouldn't leave, so the farmer explained to him, "Well, those are called circle flies. They always circle around the back end of horses." Obama angrily replied, "Hey, are you saying that I'm a horse's ass?" The farmer answered, "No Sir, Mister President. I would never call someone a horse's ass. It's hard to fool them flies though." - unattributed
"Now, I know Obama was trying to take the long view, but talking about solar energy in the middle of the oil spill is like watching your house engulfed in flames and saying, 'We really should change the curtains.'" —Craig Ferguson
"Today, President Obama finally met with BP's CEO, Tony Hayward, but the meeting was only scheduled 20 minutes. Call me crazy, but I think it should take more time to discuss an oil spill than it does to get your oil checked." —Jimmy Fallon
[re: President Obama's oil spill speech}"He assured the nation that the gulf will be cleaned up and restored to even greater beauty and prosperity. Well, you know what that means. He's started drinking. That's the only possible explanation." –David Letterman
Is arugula supposed to be the elitist salad green?
Well, call me elitist, because I've been eating it for years - for health reasons....even when Bush was president.
Funny, I'm reading the thread, and as a person who has roots in New Orleans I find in a shame that Katrina, Bush's Chappaquiddick, has been so neatly pushed under the proverbial rug. That part of the south will feel the wrath of Katrina for many, many years.
Also, I'm probably one of few "out minority conservatives" who believes in waiting for the clean up before the finger pointing begins. Did we not learn anything from Katrina?
It was not George who flubbed, but his bubble headed co-horts.
The Gulf has taken a terrible second hit, and it will taken generations for the affects to subside. Just think, Obama may have oil on his crisp white Pendleton, but, even the next president will have to absorbe the affects of the BP spill.
Are you being serious? The Government of New Orleans Knew that the Levy built by the Army Corps of Engineers wasn't up to code for almost 40 years. Additionally, former President Bush's original request to assume control of State National Guard was denied by Blanco, so your big word for incident is better suited for the Government of New Orleans.
The leadership failures that contributed to the events we witnessed on the Gulf Coast last August and September began long, long before Katrina came ashore. It literally took centuries to make the mistakes that rolled together to make Katrina such a vast natural and human-made calamity. First, for hundreds of years, people have been constructing and placing large amounts of precious (human lives) and expensive (infrastructure, homes, communities) value in New Orleans and along the Gulf Coast in the known path of severe storms. Second, for decades, we have been living with inadequately designed, built, or maintained 12 - 4 New Orleans Levee Systems Independent Levee Hurricane Katrina Investigation Team July 31, 2006 man-made protections (levees, building codes, pumps, and so on), and have pursued policies and interventions that actively contributed to the destruction of the natural buffers (salt marshes, dunes, and other natural barriers) against the hazards created by placing value in harm's way. Third for years - at least since 9/11, but even before that - we have known that we had systems of preparation and response that would prove inadequate against truly large scale disasters. Fourth, in the days and hours before Katrina's landfall, we failed to mobilize as effectively as we might have those systems that we did have in place. And fifth, the days following the impact, we did not execute even the things that we were prepared to do as quickly and smoothly as we should have. How do we not, in the future, find ourselves again with those same regrets? Our work needs to begin with a judicious and honest assessment of threats, followed by investments in prevention and mitigation and by construction of response systems that will be equal to a larger of class of disturbances than we have previously allowed ourselves to contemplate.”
''UPS and FedEx are doing just fine, right? It's the Post Office that's always having problems.'' —Barack Obama, attempting to make the case for government-run healthcare, while simultaneously undercutting his own argument, Portsmouth, N.H., Aug. 11, 2009
The Obamas invited members of Congress to a picnic at the White House. They played all the classic picnic games: wiffle ball, capture the flag, and their favorite game: ignore the oil spill. - Jimmy Fallon
A lot of people are upset and wondering why President Obama is willing to sit down with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad but not BP CEO Tony Hayward. I think Obama is afraid — Ahmadinejad only threatened to destroy the world and Hayward is actually doing it. - Jay Leno
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