Barack Obama Jokes

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   Brenda Durhamposted 13 years ago

   Barack Obama and Joe Biden actually work pretty well together.
   
   Neither of them says anything stupid at the same times the other one does.

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   Brenda Durhamposted 13 years ago

   Barack Obama must've read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People".   True to form, he said the heck with winning friends; he just wants to influence people.

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   Bibowenposted 13 years ago

   "The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate."--Jay Leno

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      Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      

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   Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

   Obama gaffe:
   
   ''Now, what we're doing, I want to be clear, we're not trying to push financial reform because we begrudge success that's fairly earned. I mean, I do think at a certain point you've made enough money.''
   —Barack Obama, on Wall Street reform, Quincy, Ill., April 29, 2010

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   Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

   

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   Blogetposted 13 years ago

   ;--) hahha

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   Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

   

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   Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

   Obama gaffe:
   
   ''It was also interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There's a lot of -- I don't know what the term is in Austrian, wheeling and dealing.''
   —Barack Obama, confusing German for ''Austrian,'' a language which does not exist, Strasbourg, France, April 6, 2009

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   Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

   

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    President Obama went on “The View,” even though his critics say he isn’t willing to confront extremists. - David Letterman

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    "President Obama's new message to the American people is 'things could be a lot worse.' We've gone from 'change you can believe in' to 'things could be a lot worse.' The sequel is never as good as the original." —Jay Leno

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    "President Obama is going on a 10-day vacation to Martha's Vineyard in August. Obama was like, 'This is my longest vacation ever,' and voters were like, 'Wait'll you see the one we're planning for you!'" —Jimmy Fallon

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    Arthur Fontesposted 13 years ago

    Chelsea Clinton asked an American soldier who he feared.
    
    His answer was:
    .
    "Osama, Obama, and Yo Mama."

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    President Obama is going on “The View” to talk about the economy. Later on, he’ll go to “General Hospital” to explain to doctors how the new healthcare system works. - Jay Leno

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    President Obama is in town for an appearance on “The View.” He probably won’t get a word in edgewise, but he said he’s used to it. He lives with his mother-in-law. - David Letterman

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    President Obama was in New York today to tape his appearance on “The View.” Whoopi asked him about the economy, Joy asked about the war, and Elizabeth asked for his birth certificate.
    - Jimmy Fallon

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    Happy birthday to President Obama. If you want to get him a present, he’s registered at Bed, Bath, and Blame Bush. - Jay Leno

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    They got him a huge cake. He didn’t blow out the candles, he just taxed them until they gave up on their own. - Jay Leno

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    President Obama is 49 years old today. He blew out all of his candles and wished for his old job back. - David Letterman

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    The president is 49 years old, but it’s never a good sign when your age is higher than your political approval rating. - David Letterman

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    Top Ten Ways Barack Obama Celebrated His Birthday
    
    10 Sent troops to invade a Cold Stone Creamery
    
    9 Read details of his surprise party on WikiLeaks
    
    8 Got a new fake birth certificate he wanted
    
    7 Read "Eat Pray Love" and bawled his eyes out
    
    6 Asked birthday party magician if he could make Sarah Palin disappear
    
    5 Fist-bumped with Snooki and The Situation
    
    4 Went to Pizzeria Uno for their "Shrimp & Crab Fun-Doo" with the guys from NORAD
    
    3 Flew Air Force One to Party Depot to buy helium balloons
    
    2 Sat alone watching "Real Housewives" marathon on Bravo
    
    1 Stuffed Tony Hayward full of nickels and beat him like a pinata
    
    - David Letterman

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26. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    Happy birthday to President Obama. Republicans tried to block his birthday but they didn’t have enough votes. - Jimmy Kimmel

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    Today was President Obama’s birthday. All the Democrats were like "How old are you now," while the Republicans were like "And where were you born?" - Jimmy Fallon

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    It’s President Obama’s birthday tomorrow. He’ll be 49 years old. Yea right, if he had a birth certificate. - David Letterman

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    President Obama announced his plan to remove all combat troops from Iraq by the end of August. So thank you to all the men and women serving in Iraq and “Good luck in Afghanistan!” - Jimmy Fallon

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    President Obama had dinner with Oprah for his birthday. Oprah said it was nice to have dinner with the leader of the free world — and President Obama. - Craig Ferguson

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    pueblomanposted 13 years ago

    I guess the biggest joke is that Obama is president of the USA and Flightkeeper is unsucessfully trying to make a buck on Hubpages. It's the way I tell 'em!

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39. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    fionadeogposted 13 years ago

    These remind me of the story 'the father, the son and the donkey.'
    
    The father and son decided to sell a donkey in the market. They walked the donkey to the market early in the morning.
    
    When they passed by Village A, a villager said angrily:" What kind of son will let the father walk and not sit on the donkey?"
    
    Upon hearing this, the father stepped up and rode on the donkey.
    
    Then, they passed by Village B. A villager shouted:" What kind of father will let the son walk and he himself sit on the donkey?"
    
    So, the father pulled the son up. Both of them rode on the donkey.
    
    " What kind of human being would torture the donkey like that?" Another woman shouted.
    
    At the end, they both came down and carried the donkey. The donkey struggled uncomfortably while they were crossing a river. The donkey fell into the river resulted in the father and son went back empty handed.
    
    Moral: never possible to please everyone. Just do one best. May be

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41. 67

    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    President Obama announced this month that he created 70,000 new jobs. The bad news is, they are all vacation planners for him and his family. - Jay Leno

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    chaiyo555posted 13 years ago

    I thought so, too.

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    The New Orleans Saints visited the White House. They presented President Obama with a Saints jersey with the number 44, in honor of his approval rating. - Jay Leno

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    President Obama may be willing to meet with Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. How does that make the governor of Arizona feel? The president won’t meet with her, but a four-foot tall Holocaust-denier in a Members Only jacket? No problem. - Jay Leno

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    The White House is defending President Obama’s sports activities over the past week, saying that everyone needs leisure time. Thanks to these economic policies, 9.5 percent of Americans have all the leisure time they need. - Jay Leno

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    The economy is so bad, the Obamas are thinking about taking their next vacation in the United States. - Jay Leno

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       susanlangposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       @flightkeeper    Love Jay Leno...watch his opening jokes when I can stay awake

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          Flightkeeperposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Hi Susan, I like Leno too.

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             susanlangposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             :-)

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    I don’t understand why the president has to drive. He could just flap his ears and fly anywhere. - Jimmy Kimmel

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