If your keyboard could talk, what would it say about you?

1. 0

   Gracie Sophiaposted 13 years ago

   This is fun little writing exercise.

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      RogerADposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Stop hitting me so hard? Seriously, everyone says I type too loud, so I imagine my keyboard probably doesn't like me too much...

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         michifusposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         same here.Poor thing, gets hammered every day.

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      Mark Knowlesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Heavy-handed and slow but means well.

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      starqueen13posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      "OMG WHY DOESNT SHE STOP WRITING ONCE IN A WHILE?!?"
      
      (then when i have writers block)
      
      "FINALLY. ugh i can rest easy for now....oh god....shes back!"
      
      hehe sorry keyboard

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      Allan Douglasposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I keep telling him I'm not in the mood, I have a key ache -- but he keeps pecking on me, pecking on me, pecking on me.  Why can't he just leave me alone for a while!  I wish his fingers would fall off!

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      Mercedes-Benz30posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I think mine would definitely say "Clean me or I quit!!"  LoL...I have a black laptop---therefore with white letters on black keys---and the amount of oil from my fingers (and especially the bottom of my wrists when they lay on the space beneath that has no keys) has made the keyboard give off a lovely sheen---albeit from a less than ideal source, lmao.

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         Laura Ginnposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Hahaha mine would probably say exactly the same thing.  There is an almost hand mark from my right hand, and my poor laptop isn't even a year old

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      Rusty C. Adoreposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      What are you writing that has you using N, M, L, and A so much that they have completely disappeared?!

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      pmccrayposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Punching the keys, and hitting the enter button numerous times will not unfreeze the screen.  STOP HITTING ME!!!

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      rouxsgirl1963posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Slow down....your fingers are going faster than your brain :p

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      CollBposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      What a typer you are!!!  Why do you need to write so many hubs!!!!! and blog posts!!!! (if a keyboard knows what hubpages and blogs are about).

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       deblevey726posted 12 years agoin reply to this

       my keyboard would say i suck at typing and i better get a punch clock job, but i would say back...I'm slow but I'm good (at writing) so lemme alone i got work to do!

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   EmpressFelicityposted 13 years ago

   I don't know what my keyboard would say about me, but I know what it would say to me, namely "Can you tell that bloody cat of yours to stop dribbling on me?  My microcircuits have nearly shorted several times now and if I catch fire, it's all your fault." 
   
   (One of our cats likes to jump on my lap while I'm typing.  And he has a tendency to dribble a lot.)

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      kaltopsydposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      
      That's funny. I love it.

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   leebertteaposted 13 years ago

   I think it would tell me how much it loves to be fingered by me!

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      Lindac21posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Lol cheeky keyboard!

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   wildernessposted 13 years ago

   It would tell me to learn to type: the backspace key is about worn out!

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   Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

   Mine would say, "Hey - quit cleaning me so often with alcohol-sprayed tissues.  You're going to wear off my letters even more than you're already doing."

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   Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

   Uh oh, my keyboard would say "CLEAN ME!"

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7. 81

   Rafiniposted 13 years ago

   When are you going to learn how to spell? 
   
   (aren't backspace keys wonderful?  )

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   Spacey Graceyposted 13 years ago

   It would say 'stop letting your little boy ping off my keys'

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   Research Analystposted 13 years ago

   It would say that it liked my short nails better, since I had acrylic nails put on I am banging on the keys harder and the keys on the board are feeling the pressure.  LOL

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      dianacharlesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      it would ask me if I have a life...and why do I spend so much time with it...

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    AEvansposted 13 years ago

    If my keyboard could talk it would say " your pushing my buttons so fast, I can catch my breath!" "Please slow down my legs ache!" lololololo
    
    What it would say about me would be, " Do you ever take a break?" lolololo

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       kaltopsydposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       lol. That's what mine would say too!

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11. 0

    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    nothing - -the tarnatula, the slug, the
    hog is as ugly as me,
    and nothing had a better chance to be
    one of the beautiful ones
    than me.

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       paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I miss him.

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    packerpackposted 13 years ago

    It would say "This bugger do not know how to type. Just uses three right hand fingers and a single left hand finger and yes he is awful at spellings!!"

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    timorousposted 13 years ago

    "You type really well, don't you?  Well stop looking at me so often, ok?  Don't you know where those buttons are by now?  Jeez, you're making me feel sooo self-conscious. 
    You might try cleaning me like, maybe once a year...god I hate those boogers and the peanut butter and jelly...Oh yeah, you slouch too much too."

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       kaltopsydposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Too funny!

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       starqueen13posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       hahahhaa self-conscious....

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    Beth100posted 13 years ago

    To me:  "Stop touching me!  Did I say you could touch me all over like that?!?" 
    
    About me:  "She's making me hot -- smokin' hot!  She types way too fast!!!"

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    Greek Oneposted 13 years ago

    "why the hell are your fingers so sticky when you surf to HubPages you weird-ass perv!?!?"

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    C.V.Rajanposted 13 years ago

    "Idiot! Even a 5 year old child would have learned typing without mistakes; you have been typing on me almost for the past 25 years and still you fumble. What a shame!"

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    gg.zainoposted 13 years ago

    It would say, without a doubt...."Why don't u learn how to type ya Dumb Shit!!!" just sayin- Peace..greg z ~-[:

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    wrenfrost56posted 13 years ago

    It would say "why is it sometimes you can't get enough of me and other times you avoid me like the plague! I wish you would be more gentle with me, I would really apreciate it if you cleaned me a little more often and when are you going to learn to spell?"

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    Shadesbreathposted 13 years ago

    "Oh for F---'s sake, CHEETOS?"

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20. 0

    askpowersposted 13 years ago

    my keyboard would say " How gently he use his fingers on me " LOL...
    I really use my keyboard's buttons softly

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21. 0

    sarahsherlockposted 13 years ago

    'How would you like being poked in the face?'

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       kaltopsydposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Hahaha, nice one!

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    Ben Evansposted 13 years ago

    If only my keyboard could talk,
    I can imagine what it would say
    as my wrist lay in laziness
    while I am here typing away.
    
    Your a good person my dear friend.
    I can see your passion with type
    as you quietly try to encourage
    without any fanfare or hype.
    
    ...But please, I have to emphasize
    don't eat anymore crackers or food
    which clutters areas under my keys.
    Really, don't you think that is rude.
    
    So yes, good job my dear typist,
    but please I ask you to be clean
    because food must be in your mouth
    .......For me, I prefer it not be seen.

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       kaltopsydposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Where's the "like" button when you need it?

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       Teresa Schultzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       @ Ben Evans - cool poem!

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23. 0

    ryankettposted 13 years ago

    My old keyboard would say "can't you get that cigarette ash in the damn ashtray". He is now in the loft, probably enjoying life a little more. My new keyboard is flexible, and can be washed with water, so I'm not sure what problem he has with me - I think that he is ok with me right now.

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    saddlerider1posted 13 years ago

    It would tell me to stop wearing me out with your tapppy tap tapping. Also keep centered and stop hitting the wrong keys. Clean the cat hair from under my keys. It's driving me crazy.

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25. 61

    shadowdriveposted 13 years ago

    It would tell me to stop typing so fricken much that im wearin it out. and to clean up the lemonade that got spilled by someone into it.

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26. 68

    Joy56posted 13 years ago

    oh no, here she is again, she fancies herself as a writer, but she aint going to make it.  Ha ha

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    ediggityposted 13 years ago

    Owwww, quit it!
    
    or
    
    Stop, that tickles!

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       kaltopsydposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Cute

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    Jule Romansposted 13 years ago

    It would ask me why I have worn down the A,S, and E keys so fast.

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    kaltopsydposted 13 years ago

    Would you take a break already??? Your constant typing is making my keys sore! Sheesh!

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30. 68

    bayouladyposted 13 years ago

    Keyboard: Dummy,it's 1:15 in the morning. Why are you still up?
    bayoulady:  Four days and I'm already addicted to reading hubpages!

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       sugzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       it took you four days? i've been here 15mins and i'm already hooked ... no more wasting time on dating sites.. oh my keyboard will be soooo thankful...
       just glad it has no secrets to tell.. yet  haha

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       WannaB Writerposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       It's my husband that says that -- not the keyboard.

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31. 87

    Len Cannonposted 13 years ago

    KIiiiiiiiiIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllll MEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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    wearing wellposted 13 years ago

    
    "Isn't it about time you got up out of that comfy chair?,
    Go and get on now with all your other affairs!
    You've caught a bug from reading all those clever hubs,
    My fans are feeling hot now,I need some fresh air,
    Come back later,we'll have another hub,just leave me resting on that rug,
    You turned me on with a hug,
    Please turn me off somehow,
    I really do need a rest now!"

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    sunbriteposted 13 years ago

    It would probably say " We don't hang out as much as we use to, I miss your touch."

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    Originposted 13 years ago

    Perhaps it would say.. "Quit poking me!"

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    sammyfictionposted 13 years ago

    If my keyboard could say anything it would be to stop making so many mistakes. It would say stop writing things and then backspacing everything you just wrote to just write the same thing again - believe me I do it - it would say stop assuming i am going to spell everything correctly, and it would also tell me to give it a rest. ;P been at it a while haha
    sammyfiction

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36. 92

    habeeposted 13 years ago

    My keyboard would say, "Gimme a freakin' break!!"

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    lakeerieartistsposted 13 years ago

    Messy and chaotic but gets things done.

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    miss_jkimposted 13 years ago

    Don't just sit there get typing!
    No, I don't mind if you backspace, just put something in it's place.

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    Crazywriterchikposted 13 years ago

    If you insist on eating while sitting in front of me would you mind at least wiping your hands a little better. I'm lucky that my keys haven't gotten stuck together.
    
    Please be a little nicer to me, I know I'm slow but I'm old so give me a break.
    
    I'm just glad that you don't stare so hard at my keys anymore.. it was creeping me out.

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    lrohnerposted 13 years ago

    "Ack! Get me out of heeeeeeeere!"

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    BrocktonGatorposted 13 years ago

    "Haven't you learned when to let go of the SHift key yet?"

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42. 0

    Kathryn LJposted 13 years ago

    Clean me you slattern.  Don't you know how many types of bacteria are breeding between the keys? There's a new life form growing on the page up button.

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    Stacie Lposted 13 years ago

    my keyboard would say.."get a life!"

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    anniedeeposted 13 years ago

    My laptop keyboard wouldn't say anything, because it's dead, but I have a replacement.
    
    It would tell me to get a life and clean it, and to stop letting my daughter pick the keys off it.

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    sugzposted 13 years ago

    mine would ask.. whats the 'fu' button for? why do you use it, whats it do? ohhh thats what it for.. right..
    whats the turbo button for? i thought you typed fast enough already.. can you give me a slow motion key?
    
    why did you put a third enter key on me when i have two perfectly good ones already. WHY DID YOU SPLIT MY KEYS??? we were comfy next to each other.. STOP HITTING ME! i'm working as fast as i can.. i don't like you no more!
    i quit! get a new keyboard!
    
    
    currently typing on new keybaord as my old one litterally gave up moments before joining this site, so.. i had to post, now i just gotta fix my ergonomical keybaord that yes, has a turbo button (i haven't figured what tis for yet but will fin dout one day haha) and 3 enter keys... hmmm weird!
    the keys are so stiff i have to hit it hard to get them to move, but then i got a call from the keyboard police. be careful with these things, they're ganging up on us.. for every human that has a computer.. there's a damn keybord, and occasionally a spare sitting waiting to call the keyboard police to report us!

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       Phaseusposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Your keyboard is most likely modded for gaming. And cheating at games at that. A turbo button basically can be set to click X number of times per second. For games like Half-Life that have weapons in which a gun fires as fast as you click, this function proves useful.

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    MojoJojo49posted 13 years ago

    "I wish he would be more gentle with me. Maybe take me out once and a while. Catch a movie. Dinner. Maybe some fine wine. The best I can hope for is the occasional spill or crumb. You don't love me anymore."
    
    Sorry Qwerty. I do. i love you sincerely. Without you my writing would go a little something like this...
    
    "..."

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       Teresa Schultzposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       That's sweet

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47. 68

    ExpandYourMindposted 13 years ago

    Why do you press the backspace key so often?

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    SilentReedposted 13 years ago

    How callous can you get.

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    wademcmasterposted 13 years ago

    My Enter key would ask me to calm down when angry....

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    Teresa Schultzposted 13 years ago

    "Watch where you put that coffee!"
    
    and
    
    "Get your kids their own Internet, I want only your fingers on me!"

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       Eiddwenposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Mine would say ; You ignored me for years, now you give me no peace!!

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