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Joke of the day

  1. Iamsam profile image64
    Iamsamposted 6 years ago

    Why Indian Students are disliked abroad. ..... .......?

    It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian  student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

    The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
    American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

    She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who  had his hand up:?'Patrick Henry, 1775'he said.

    'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by
    the People, for the People, shall not perish from the
    Earth?''

    Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.

    The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do.'

    She heard a loud whisper: 'F ___ the Indians,'

    'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put
    his hand up. 'General Custer, 1862.'

    At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm
    gonna puke.'

    The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?' Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese  Prime Minister, 1991.'

    Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck
    this!'

    Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky,1997'

    Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'
    Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him, 2004.'

    The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!' And Chandrasekhar  said quietly, 'I think it was Lehmann Brothers, November 4th, 2008'.

    1. Freya Cesare profile image76
      Freya Cesareposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      :lol :lol :lol

    2. saleheensblog profile image62
      saleheensblogposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      lol

  2. timorous profile image93
    timorousposted 6 years ago

    lol lol
    Thanks for the laugh.  I'll bet the rest of the students gave him a 'piece of their minds' shall we say...

    Sometimes a smartass gets what's coming to them. smile

    1. sofs profile image87
      sofsposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      lamsam, thumbs up to you!!  A nice nerdy joke!! Yeah that's what Obama is saying... Indian are smarter go to school and get your three r's right!!!
      big_smile  :lol

      1. Iamsam profile image64
        Iamsamposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Thanks for your contribution.

  3. alternate poet profile image78
    alternate poetposted 6 years ago

    Like this big_smile    and I don't think anybody is likely to question the fact in the joke that foreign students are better educated, better students etc etc big_smile

    1. Iamsam profile image64
      Iamsamposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      you are right.

      Thanks

    2. YU_First 1 profile image60
      YU_First 1posted 6 years ago in reply to this

      It is not so much them being better educated, its just that other than books they have no other form of engagement like the American students do.

      Early on, Americans have options of not studying, studying, studying... there's music, acting, art and a whole load of other opportunities for them.

      1. alternate poet profile image78
        alternate poetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        You are SO wrong - Asian students play harder and do more than American students ever do - except drinking to excess and sleeping around - they don't need to make gangs to protect themselves from each other, I think you call them sororoties or frat houses ?

  4. swapna123 profile image80
    swapna123posted 6 years ago

    :lol !

    1. Iamsam profile image64
      Iamsamposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      thanks for your comment

  5. andygrant profile image60
    andygrantposted 6 years ago

    Very nice joke. Thanks for the laugh smile

  6. jacobkuttyta profile image48
    jacobkuttytaposted 6 years ago

    lol

  7. Sheilah Meek profile image60
    Sheilah Meekposted 6 years ago

    LOL....funny and also had a ring of truth.And,that part is sad.

    1. easyguyevo profile image83
      easyguyevoposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      LMAO!!!!

  8. mega1 profile image80
    mega1posted 6 years ago

    Here's my favorite joke today:

    Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other,” Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great." "That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
    "You mean a rose?"
    "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"

    1. profile image0
      askpowersposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      nice...

  9. Cagsil profile image61
    Cagsilposted 6 years ago

    A husband and wife were having dinner at an upscale restaurant when a stunning young woman walked over to their table, gave the husband a long, opemouthed kiss and then told him she'd see him later as she strolled away.

    The wife glared at her husband and said "Who the hell was that?"

    "Oh," the husband said casually, "that's my mistress."

    "This is the last straw!" his wife exclaimed. "I've had enough. I want a divorce."

    "I can understand that," the husband said. "But if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Porche in the garage and no more yacht club. The decision is yours."

    At that moment, a mutual friend entered the restaurant with a beautiful young woman on his arm.

    "Who is that woman with Eric?" the wife asked.

    The husband replied, "That's his mistress."

    "Ours is prettier," she said and resumed eating her dinner.



    A joke from Playboy. smile

    1. saleheensblog profile image62
      saleheensblogposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v195/xenophbe/roflmao.gif

      1. khmohsin profile image60
        khmohsinposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        smile...

      2. Iamsam profile image64
        Iamsamposted 3 years ago in reply to this

        A Catholic is trying to convert a Jew and tells him that if he becomes a Catholic his prayers will certainly be answered because the priest will give them to the bishop, who will give them to the cardinal, who will give them to the pope, who will shove them up into heaven through a hole at the top of the Vatican, which just matches
        a hole in the floor of heaven, where Saint Peter will take them to the Virgin Mary, who will intercede on their behalf with Jesus, who will say a good word for them to God.

        The Jew repeats this whole itinerary with an astonished air, ending, ”You know it must be true, because I have always wondered what they do with all the shit in heaven. They must throw it down that little hole in the Vatican, where the pope gives it to the cardinal, who gives it to the bishop, who gives it to the priest, who gives it to you and you are trying to hand it to me?”

    2. Iamsam profile image64
      Iamsamposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      nice joke

      1. Cagsil profile image61
        Cagsilposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Thank you. I took it out of my latest Playboy Magazine. I could sit here all day with my collection and post jokes. lol

        *my collection- 20 years worth. lol lol

    3. A la carte profile image61
      A la carteposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      another excellent one

  10. Cagsil profile image61
    Cagsilposted 6 years ago

    Q: What is the biggest crime committed by transvestites?

    A: Male Fraud

    1. A la carte profile image61
      A la carteposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      love it lol

  11. Benjimester profile image90
    Benjimesterposted 6 years ago

    That's priceless.  I love it!!

  12. alternate poet profile image78
    alternate poetposted 6 years ago

    An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The bartender said "you're joking aren't you !"

  13. Aficionada profile image94
    Aficionadaposted 6 years ago

    True humorous story:

    A third grade class had a new student from Denmark.  She was bright and fun, and her name was not as hard to pronounce as the Indian student's name (big_smile).

    One day, the class was having a spelling bee when the principal and the superintendent of schools came for one of their periodic visits.  The teacher called out the words one by one for the students to spell.  The little student from Denmark would always wave her hand like Hermione Granger, even though it was not her turn.  When it came to be her turn, the teacher gave her the word "normal." 

    Her face fell, because she wanted to show off what a good speller she was, and the word was not enough of a challenge.  "Please, teacher, may I spell a different word?" she asked.  "What word would you like to spell?" the teacher responded.

    "I would like to spell 'encyclopedia,'" the student replied confidently.  The teacher was rather frustrated with the little girl's attention-seeking, and she practically exploded, exclaiming,  "Now, Demmit, you know you can't spell that word!"

    To which the principal interjected, "Aw, hell, let her try!"

  14. Balmung profile image74
    Balmungposted 6 years ago

    A man walked into a bar.............

    And said "Ouch".

    1. timorous profile image93
      timorousposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      ...bet that's gonna leave a mark neutral

  15. CYBERSUPE profile image60
    CYBERSUPEposted 6 years ago

    Right On!

 
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