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  1. Stacie L profile image87
    Stacie Lposted 6 years ago


    When I heard that a small town in Iowa is considering a ban
    on lying, my first thought was: it's about time. Lying is
    getting out of hand -- and not just in Iowa. Almost everyone
    lies these days.

    Visit a hospital and you'll hear a lie: "The doctor will be
    with you in a minute."

    Visit a dentist and you'll hear a lie: "This won't hurt a

    Visit a car dealership and you'll hear a lie: "We're barely
    making money on this one."

    People lie about their age, their weight, even their height.
    Some men are barely 5-foot-10, but tell everyone they're
    6-foot. And they don't consider it lying, just "rounding
    up." They'd better not travel to Iowa or they might get
    rounded up.

    Some women are extremely "inaccurate" about their weight.
    But what do you expect? Before stepping on a scale, they
    remove not just their shoes and coats, but also their

    I hate to admit it, but I've lied about my age, telling
    people I'm in my late 30s, when the truth is, I'm actually
    19. Wait a minute -- that's the age of my underwear. (They
    used to be boxers, now they're briefs.)

    In some professions, lying is almost a necessity. Some of
    America's best lawyers are also America's best liars. They
    appear on CNN and say almost anything -- whatever comes to
    their minds. "My client is so innocent, we're not just going
    to prove reasonable doubt. We're going to doubt reasonable

    Lawyers may be good at lying, but they're mere amateurs
    compared to politicians. Lying is to politics what stupidity
    is to bull fighting. Just ask Bill Clinton.

    Reporter: "Mr. Clinton, how much lying did you do in the
    White House?"

    Clinton: "I did not lie with that woman, Monica Lewinsky. I
    was always upright with her."

    Reporter: "No, Mr. Clinton, that's not what I meant. Did you
    tell many lies while in office?"

    Clinton: "Of course not. I made it a principle to speak the
    truth while in office. I also made it a principle to speak
    to the media outside the office."

    People often feel forced to lie, especially when others ask
    difficult questions. This happens to men a lot. Soon after
    they wake up, their wives turn to them and ask, "Does this
    dress make me look fat?"

    Some men have told the truth -- "Not much fatter than you
    usually look" -- but such men are now lying, about six feet
    under. A smart man will first pretend he didn't hear the
    question, then try to finesse the truth: "No, honey, you
    look as slim as you did yesterday!"

    Such creative lying has become an important survival skill.
    Just like Kramer on "Seinfeld," many people have used it to
    compliment the parents of unattractive babies. "Oh my!" they
    say. "He's breathtaking. Definitely has his father's looks."

    Others have used it in greeting cards to their
    mothers-in-law: "Words cannot describe my feelings for you."

    Creative lying also comes in handy when you're invited to
    dinner: "I've never tasted anything quite like this. I'd ask
    you for the recipe, but with my cooking skills, I just can't
    imagine making this."

    1. Cagsil profile image83
      Cagsilposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      A perfect example how much "character" education is lacking. hmm

      I realize this piece is for humor, but is and will remain sad, in the aspect of how it describes most people.

      *on a side note- not everyone lies. wink And, not everyone can be spoken for either. I'm pretty sure there will be some illiterates in some other country who cannot even speak a language, much less, form a lie. lol

    2. qwark profile image61
      qwarkposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Lying is a way of life.
      Hell, if the shoe fits, wear it.
      In case of an emergency? Lie!
      "I cannot tell a lie!" Capital...BS   LOL  :-)

  2. SomewayOuttaHere profile image59
    SomewayOuttaHereposted 6 years ago


    1. Stacie L profile image87
      Stacie Lposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      now  that's funny!

    2. LeslieAdrienne profile image83
      LeslieAdrienneposted 6 years ago in reply to this


    3. LillyGrillzit profile image82
      LillyGrillzitposted 5 years ago in reply to this


  3. attemptedhumour profile image59
    attemptedhumourposted 6 years ago

    That's a very funny, clever piece. Great work!

    1. camlo profile image83
      camloposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I enjoyed it, too. It would actually make a great Hub.

  4. richtwf profile image61
    richtwfposted 6 years ago

    Lying is certainly an undying habit but as much you try to preach that honesty is the best policy - you can only do so much. We should in fact become more honest with each passing day of our lives but do we? Some of us do and some of us don't. The ones we should trust the most are our elected politicians but they are the ones who are becoming increasingly distrusted. Trust takes time to build but can be demolished in just a fraction of the time it took to build it.

    Creative lying and white lies and the 5th amendment all share the common denominator - dishonesty. And the 5th amendment - can someone elaborate? Is that like a get out a jail free card? Stop you from being incriminated by keeping mum in a court of law? I never could work out that one and how someone who is possibly guilty has any right to inhibit the course of the truth from being revealed.

  5. Joe Badtoe profile image60
    Joe Badtoeposted 6 years ago

    I always tell lies

    and that's the truth

    1. Cagsil profile image83
      Cagsilposted 6 years ago in reply to this


  6. paradigmsearch profile image90
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    I am a fine human being in my own right. smile

  7. CYBERSUPE profile image61
    CYBERSUPEposted 6 years ago

    Election 2010 is just around the corner. You want to here lie's from our future leaders of the United States of America. I did not do it "HE DID"!

  8. 0
    Home Girlposted 5 years ago

    With politicians it is an occupational hazard - survival of the fittest - the"lyerest"

  9. Julie2 profile image79
    Julie2posted 5 years ago

    Nice! could not have said it better myself! LOL