The beer on his breathand a fast roming car.Your confused, abandon it so feelsscaired to look at him.Worried of what u may seethe angre or hatered in his eyes.In thee darkness of nighton a path that feels it never ends.he almost crashesyou grab the stireing wheel and say his life.No thank you is agnoallgedfor he doesnt remember a thing.you no it will happen againu feel so pained.as you reach for the razorfor the last time.you no your life will endyou want to finish it now.so you dont die'cause thee life of him.You slit your neckand fall to the ground.to never look back againyour tired of trying.You are soonly forgottengood bye dad for the sentence of life
OH MY.that's deep.and kinda dark.and a bit scary. I LOVED IT!!!!!!!FIRST POEM I LIKE THAT DOESN'T RHYME.ONCE IN A LIFETIME,THIS MAY NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This is a very dark verse. I wonder if it is founded in truth. At any rate it seems to carry the point quite well in despite of the occasional errors.
Dev make that your first hub
It has a lot of raw emotion but you need to edit it.You are inconsistent with the capitalization. Either make it all lower case or use the correct capitals. In most case, you have to pick one or the other.You have a few mis-spelled words such as scared (scaired).thee-thesteering-stireingno-knowagnoallged--- no idea what this word is.u- yousoonly-soonI think the over all poem has a lot emotional impact but you need to smooth out the mechanical rough edges.Nice last line.
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