Two guys are walking down the side of the road and they see a German Sheppard licking itself. The one guy looks at the other and says "I wish I could do that." And the other guy says. "maybe if you are real nice and pet him first, he might let you."
A blonde is walking down the road and she sees another blonde in the middle of a cornfield in a rowboat. And, she stops and yells at her. "What the hell are you doing!" The other blonde replies. "I am trying to get to shore!"
The blonde in the road says. "Oh you stupid bitch! You are giving all of us blondes a bad name! And, if I could swim I would come out there and kick your ass!"