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What’s your favourite bad joke?

  1. mrfluffy profile image61
    mrfluffyposted 6 years ago

    The one I love is 
    A white horse go’s in to a pub, the barman says we have a whisky names after you?
    The horse replies they named a whisky Eric?
    Dire I know your turn!

  2. WryLilt profile image86
    WryLiltposted 6 years ago

    What did one casket say to the other casket?

    Is that you coffin'?

    What's yellow and can't swim?

    A bulldozer...

    1. saleheensblog profile image59
      saleheensblogposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      fuuuuuuuuuuu

  3. couturepopcafe profile image60
    couturepopcafeposted 6 years ago

    roll

  4. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    .
    Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

  5. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    .
    1.  The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

  6. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    .
    2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

  7. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    .
    3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

  8. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    .
    4. A dog's parents never visit.

  9. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    .
    5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

  10. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    .
    6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

  11. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    .
    7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

  12. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    .
    8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

  13. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

  14. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

  15. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    .
    11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

  16. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    .
    12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

  17. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    .
    13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

  18. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

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    14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

  19. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    .
    The end. smile

  20. Alien invasion profile image60
    Alien invasionposted 6 years ago

    Some country hick walks into Harvard and asks a professor, "Yall know where the library's at?"

    The professor replies, "Here at Harvard we do not end our sentences in prepositions."

    The hick says, "Ok, Yall know where the library's at, A** Hole?"

  21. mrfluffy profile image61
    mrfluffyposted 6 years ago

    Excellent every one lol

  22. mrfluffy profile image61
    mrfluffyposted 6 years ago

    A man walks in to a bar
    Ouch!!!

  23. paradigmsearch profile image87
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    I was thinking of bumping this one for the dog lovers, but you beat me to it. smile

  24. timorous profile image92
    timorousposted 6 years ago

    A horse ambles into a bar.  Bartender says "Hey buddy, why such a long face?"

    1. mrfluffy profile image61
      mrfluffyposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Two lions are walking down Oxford Street in London. One looks to the other and says “it’s quiet here isn’t it”.

  25. Bill Manning profile image72
    Bill Manningposted 6 years ago

    Did you hear about the pony with a sore throat? Yeah, he was a little hoarse,,,,,

  26. Bill Manning profile image72
    Bill Manningposted 6 years ago

    A friend told me he has 3 wife's. Really I said? That must take a lot to do that. Yeah he said, it's awful big-of-me,,, smile

  27. Hugh Williamson profile image89
    Hugh Williamsonposted 6 years ago

    A guy walks into the doctor's office...

    Patient: "Doc, every time I drink coffee, I get a pain in my eye.

    Doctor: "Don't leave the spoon in the cup."

  28. Extinct Soul profile image59
    Extinct Soulposted 6 years ago

    (just before christmas, apple and orange was on the fridge)

    apple: yiiiiii..iiiit's coooold in herrrre...

    orange: ohmagosh..the apple is talking!!

    smile

  29. profile image0
    jerrylposted 6 years ago

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To show the raccoons it could be done.

  30. Bill Manning profile image72
    Bill Manningposted 6 years ago

    My friend who works at the funeral home was telling me it's a tough job. Do those caskets weigh a lot I asked?

    Yeah they do he said,,, you know,,, all that dead weight,,,

  31. Urbane Chaos profile image90
    Urbane Chaosposted 6 years ago

    Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

    It's horrible, I know.. after almost two weeks thinking about it I finally got it, and couldn't stop laughing.

    I know, I'm strange. neutral

    1. Ivorwen profile image84
      Ivorwenposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I love that one.  My brother use to tell it all the time, and it was always funny watching peoples reactions.  big_smile

    2. timorous profile image92
      timorousposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      The first two men were talking on cellphones, the third guy wasn't. big_smile

  32. Ivorwen profile image84
    Ivorwenposted 6 years ago

    Where do you find a dog with no legs?



    Where ever you left him.

  33. timorous profile image92
    timorousposted 6 years ago

    A sign in a funeral home reads:

    "Remains to be seen..."

    1. Castlepaloma profile image24
      Castlepalomaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Just funny bad joke coming from this one kid

      Why do women were perfume and make up

      Because they are ugly and smell bad

  34. brimancandy profile image81
    brimancandyposted 6 years ago

    Two guys are walking down the side of the road and they see a German Sheppard licking itself. The one guy looks at the other and says "I wish I could do that." And the other guy says. "maybe if you are real nice and pet him first, he might let you."

    Next!

    A blonde is walking down the road and she sees another blonde in the middle of a cornfield in a rowboat. And, she stops and yells at her. "What the hell are you doing!" The other blonde replies. "I am trying to get to shore!"

    The blonde in the road says. "Oh you stupid bitch! You are giving all of us blondes a bad name! And, if I could swim I would come out there and kick your ass!"

  35. profile image0
    jerrylposted 6 years ago

    Ad in a newspaper

    Bulldog for sale.  House trained, good watch dog, cuddly,
    eats anything, especially fond of children.

  36. profile image0
    Toby Hansenposted 6 years ago

    A blonde phoned roadside assistance.
    The operator asked her what the problem was with her car.
    Well, she said, the indicators aren't working... now they are... now they aren't...

  37. profile image0
    jerrylposted 6 years ago

    Sign on a radiator repair shop.

    Best place in town to take a leak.

 
working