I just received this thought you may like it
The Duck Is Dead!
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As
she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or
anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few
minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in
amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked
up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he
returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on
its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"
she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would
have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
You got me on that one! Never expected that.
that's messed up. I guess she should've taken the doc's word for it.
that was the best joke iv'e heard in ages,
I read it out loud to a couple of people, One of which never laughs at jokes. but even he really appreciated it. So that right there shows you, what a fab joke that was. it was very good.
" Loved it , Loved it, Loved it " !!
Please post more of.
My dad was working out in the back yard the other day and he noticed the dog came up to him with a dead rabbit in his mouth.
The rabbit was white, and very dirty, my dad remembered that the neighbors granddaughter had a pet rabbit in a pen in their back yard.
So He took the rabbit and stashed it up in his shed, then when they left the house he went out to check the rabbit pen. Sure enough the rabbit was gone.
Dad thought oh no the dog has gone and killed their rabbit. He didn't want to be blamed for his dog killing the rabbit. So he took the rabbit tried to clean off all the dirt and placed it back in the pen.
Then went home, hoping to not hear anything about this.
Some hours later the neighbors came home, and eventually he heard the neighbor lady screaming and running around in the back yard.
Dad acted surprised and came running as if to help, "What's wrong?" He says.
She says to him in complete horror " Our Rabbit died last night so my husband buried it right over there, now look it's back in the pen!"
Here's one...My neighbor's dog wanted to dress up for Halloween. " What's he want to be"? I asked her. "The Postman" she replied. Later on that day I saw him trying to bite himself!
by paradigmsearch6 years ago
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