jump to last post 1-10 of 10 discussions (22 posts)

What do u think is the scene behind this poem?

  1. Cracknutcase profile image74
    Cracknutcaseposted 6 years ago

    Birds are chirping loudly
    And Day is giving way to the night.
    I can feel only silence inside me,
    Making me realize nothing is Alright.

    There is a feeling of emptiness left
    And whole lots of memories to regret.
    I feel so battered at this very moment
    Like my heart is burning in a fire torment.

    The rushing wind touched my face
    And the tears stormed out of my eyes.
    Ur absence suddenly struck my heart
    And my whole world fell apart.

    I don't know what happened,
    Why u left me with so many questions?
    All i know is I loved you
    And now am left with no clue.

    Please don't leave me baby
    I'm sure we can work it out.
    Please don't turn deaf to my plea's
    I don't have the strength to shout.

    Just tell me u love me
    And I'll be here forever.
    Just tell me u need me
    I'll leave you never!!

    1. The Suburban Poet profile image81
      The Suburban Poetposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      It sounds like someone who lost their lover.... someone they were deeply and romantically in love with...

      1. elvit profile image62
        elvitposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        I agree with you.... love has turned sour.

      2. Cracknutcase profile image74
        Cracknutcaseposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Yeah U r right Subarban poet.. A girl going through the most excruciating situation , she realises thr was nothing she cud do to make the love of her life stop from leaving her.. He meant everything to her but she has to face the truth that she meant nothing to him, nothing at all..
        Thanks for stopping by smile

  2. Cagsil profile image58
    Cagsilposted 6 years ago

    I'll hazard to guess- death of a loved one? hmm

    Haven't a clue to be honest...just guessing. lol

    1. Cracknutcase profile image74
      Cracknutcaseposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Thank u Cagsil .. smile
      It is about the pain a girl is going through when she gets dumped by her guy who meant the world to her..

  3. profile image0
    ralwusposted 6 years ago

    the scene: a blubbering fool on knees who fukked up

    1. Cracknutcase profile image74
      Cracknutcaseposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Lolz...!

  4. Jaggedfrost profile image84
    Jaggedfrostposted 6 years ago

    lol I will have to agree with Ralwus,  honestly  it ended better then it started.  It would be nice if the brevity factor was equal throughout.

  5. Pearldiver profile image87
    Pearldiverposted 6 years ago

    Probably Worth Giving Up Your Day Job As Well smile
    You Could Win the Quinella Here! (that's 1st & 2nd past the post)
    Might As Well Go For It!!! hmm
    Might as well be a loser on both counts!!big_smile

    1. Joy56 profile image61
      Joy56posted 6 years ago in reply to this

      that is mean.  Thought you were fond of poetry and poets.

  6. Jaggedfrost profile image84
    Jaggedfrostposted 6 years ago

    I have never, played Quinella here, if you want him to play I am kind of curious how that game goes.

    1. Darknlovely3436 profile image41
      Darknlovely3436posted 6 years ago in reply to this

      a devilstating break up

      1. Erin LeFey profile image79
        Erin LeFeyposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        I'd agree with the break up. obviously. left with questions, without a care, sounds like someone cheated and they do not deserve your begging them to come back.
        I am not sure how one feels silence.... but I would hazard a guess that this relationship is one where both are young people, and there is much to be learned about life and love...and this was one of those relationships where you were just "trying love on for size" and neither party was really ready for a true committment. Its probably time to reassess, learn from it and figure out what it is you really need and want from life. Take it from a bunch of old poets who have loved, lost, loved, left, loved, loved, and loved again. Eventually, you get it right, and you know it smile

        but since the question was to guess the "scene" - I'm taking the question literally. My guess is - sun going down, birds chirping Madly, wind howling

        San Francisco near the zoo?  I never claimed to be psychic...

      2. Cracknutcase profile image74
        Cracknutcaseposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        You have guessed it right Ernie though u don't claim to be a psychic (Is that really the case??).. Young love, stupidity, being in love with the word of love but who says both the parties weren't ready for a commitment or for something more serious??
        Age doesn't really change feelings..
        Lets assume this girl  in the poem has all grown up now and yet she is still dreaming about the guy who ditched her 6 yrs back.. She is still not able to imagine any1 else in his place (though it does sound corny smile).. Feels like her feelings are all destroyed.. She is a stone to the world but vulnerable wen it comes down to this guy, her 1st love..
        Thanks for an honest reply smile

  7. Rajab Nsubuga profile image60
    Rajab Nsubugaposted 6 years ago

    My guess is, Justin Bieber with 'one more time.'

  8. ahorseback profile image46
    ahorsebackposted 6 years ago

    What's behind this? An awakening ! You just don't know it yet. Beyond one heartbreak lies a Thousand new chances .

    1. Cracknutcase profile image74
      Cracknutcaseposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      @ahorseback-Beyond one heartbreak lies a thousand feelings that are destroyed and a million  dreams that are shattered

  9. Joy56 profile image61
    Joy56posted 6 years ago

    first i thought it was a death, then it was  more than a death.... the person still alive but out of love.  Your poem is it?????

    1. Cracknutcase profile image74
      Cracknutcaseposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Yes.. A girl is brutally dumped by a guy who meant the world to her.. And now here she is being reminded about her pain by Mother nature(Birds,wind etc).

  10. profile image60
    tlmntim9posted 6 years ago

    Cracknut case. I like this very much! good rhythm and flow but since you asked for help and advice in other questions I will say that it is better not to use things like U for you, and lots of? I am sure there are better words than this to describe your emotions. With just a little more thought and work this could be a great poem.
    Tim W
    Tlmntim9

    1. Cracknutcase profile image74
      Cracknutcaseposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks for the advice Tim smile It Will surely help me improve my weaker points and help me turn this poem into a much beautiful one..

 
working