how the camel got its hump

How the Camel Got its Hump

by Kaleem Raja

2008

The beetle beauty pageant bought joy to the animals of Doddering Wood. The badgers wore their Sunday best, the hedgehogs polished their beaks and the frogs took a day off from scaring the gays.

And what is this we see at the edge of the forest? It is the seventy-seven dwarves of Dunstable Desserts in alphabetical order. Apple Crumble. Banoffie Pie. Chocolate Gateaux. Fruit Cake. Lemon Tart. And Victoria Sponge.

Then calmly, the volcano erupted and the dinosaurs hid in a cardboard box. No one spoke for a hundred years because in those days, language was a rare commodity.

They wailed for a messiah, a saviour to bring them manna from heaven. His name was Cheesus. Cheesus came but the volcano was still quite hot so he melted.

The mafia harvested the melted cheese and used it to make Italian food.

“Now that we have invented Italian food”, said Al Capone Penne Carleone, “We’ll have to create Italy to put all the food in”. So they did.

Italy was done.

Pacino, De Nero and Cappuccino all cried,”Bella! Bella!”

When the Mediterranean Sea came back from its summer holiday, he played with the sky and they got married and gave birth to toasters, washing machines and most other electrical appliances beginning with I (except i-pods).

Zeus helped to supply the electric bolts. Hanuman the monkey god gave everyone bananas to commemorate this day and had he not left a banana skin lying around, God wouldn’t have slipped on it and had to create the health and safety policy on the 8th day which we all now have to adhere to.

To this day, in Doddering Wood, during the beetle beauty pageant, everyone has to wear safety goggles.

And that’s how the camel got its hump.

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