Grief

I've lost a daughter.

She walked away

one day

without ever looking back.

This was inevitable,

its inception countless years ago.

And while she waited

for the perfect time

to carry out her plan,

the perfect moment to be free,

she sat and hoped

the unacceptable,

the intolerable word or phrase

would one day appear

and sweep her

away,

relieving her

of having to invent or

find a way.

And so it happened.

I ventured way too far into the truth

and spoke the unacceptable,

the intolerable.

It hovered in the air and then

exploded in a sudden

burst of tears.

It pushed against my heart

as sudden fear began

to travel cross

the room,

enveloping our beings 'til

we sat in utter silence

knowing

this was it,

the time when unacceptable,

the time when the intolerable was here.

Copyright © 2009 All rights reserved

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Comments 28 comments

goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

I suppose most parents and children have this passage. I never had a moment like this. I was sent here and there alot.

Good poem. Hope to see more.


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky Author

Thanks GT. Appreciate your comment. Hope to do more. But it scares me a little


RooBee profile image

RooBee 7 years ago from Here

Thank you for sharing this deep and painful - and also incredibly beautiful - poem with us. I hope you will feel comfortable in sharing more as you certainly have a gift. I can't pick out my favorite bit because I think it all is just so perfect together. Great work.


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky Author

Thanks for your very kind comments. I do want to try more. This one was rather a catharsis. Not sure if I want to do that again soon. This is my very first attempt at prose poetry and I have to get used to it. Being a singer, I'm used to everything rhyming.


Dink96 profile image

Dink96 7 years ago from Phoenix, AZ

Mothers, daughters, catharsis, poetry.

Sometimes it's what brings me to write and I believe you as well. I've tried the poetry route, but I either got no comments or rave comments along with dissection from an English teacher. Haven't written much since. That and my muse has gone on a Euro holiday--ha-ha!!


Lisa HW profile image

Lisa HW 7 years ago from Massachusetts

Very moving.


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky Author

Dink: Have missed you. Try writing some poetry while your muse is gone. Hey! wait a minute...went on a Euro holiday without you? What's that all about? ...and thanks for the comment

Lisa:  Thanks for stopping by.

 


trooper22 profile image

trooper22 7 years ago from Chicago

The rift between parent and child is tough when things are said that cause pain. We to often know our family members so well that we use our knowledge to inflict pain on one another. I was the one who walked away, more like ran actually. Some Days I regret that, other days I think it was necessary. But I am a man, and my mother was very young when she had me. All I can say is thank you for sharing this. The mother's perspective is wonderful, and I sincerely hope that there will come a time when you and your daughter come to a peaceful accord as my mother and I have.


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky Author

Trooper, Thanks so much for your heartfelt and insightful comments. I finally learned, over the years, to back off. But for the most part I've let it go, not that my arms are not still open; they're just guarded. Writing the poem was very theraputic.


Dink96 profile image

Dink96 7 years ago from Phoenix, AZ

He's on a bodybuilding competition trip... ;-)


O'Brien 7 years ago

As a youth, I found myself in the daughter's position. There was always conflict and harsh words. In the end, it was not her words, but her violence that set me free.

We have since come together again, in a strained, uneasy way. She never apologized. I never forgave, not completely. Today, I focus on the good in her. I look forward to the future, rather than the past, and hope.


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky Author

Thanks, Robyn for your comments. I can see you really relate to the situation. I appreciate your honesty. Good that you look to the future and still have hope.


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky Author

I take that as a compliment. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Guess you have deepness too, despite all the joking and sarcasm (which I love, BTW). Takes one to know one.


Benjimester profile image

Benjimester 7 years ago from San Diego, California

Very vivid description. You tell a good story. Very engaging, especially considering the subject matter. Thanks for sharing things so close to your heart.


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky Author

Thanks, Benji for the kind words.


\Brenda Scully 7 years ago

Really enjoyed reading this poem, well done, and keep writing


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky Author

Thanks, Brenda, appreciate the support. Glad you stopped by.


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

This is beautiful. Can be read on at least two distinct levels -- as parents, losing our children is always the scariest fear at every age.


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky Author

Yes, and it seems we never let go of the hope that we will regain whatever was lost, at some time or another. Thanks for the nice comment.


C.S.Alexis profile image

C.S.Alexis 7 years ago from NW Indiana

This is the kind of pain that stops us in our tracks and you did the perfect job of expressing it...maybe someday the time and distance will make the amends just as perfect. You might not be able to regain what has past but with hope and faith and love you may be able to make a present and future that is as perfect as this poem. Best Regards


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky Author

Oh CS,  what a lovely thing to say. Thank you.You actually brought me to tears. I believe it's true; that it will happen one day. Just don't want to force it.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

alek

some good things never last no matter how much we hold on to them. i know this is painful to write but i know too that it had to be let out. so thanks for sharing this journey


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky Author

Thank you, Cris for the kind words. Yes, it was painful, but it was also a catharsis. Actually I have been letting go for a while, but writing this made it seem more real, and took me steps closer to acceptance.


rosecobra profile image

rosecobra 7 years ago

I found it so touching. We all come together when it is right and not before,it's in the masterplan. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here among all these wonderful people. Thank you for all the encouragement.


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky Author

Yeah, I do feel a connection with you, Rose. And you're right about this site. it's a great place to be. To be able to express ourselves in any form we want and have honest feedback is awesome.


Nan Mynatt profile image

Nan Mynatt 6 years ago from Illinois

I enjoyed reading your poem. You are gifted and should persue writing poetry. I am a poet myself.


ralwus 6 years ago

You have come far my friend.


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 6 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky Author

@ralwus: Charlie, I wrote this poem ten months ago. It was the first thing I published on HP. John was still here. Went to read some of your stuff and saw you had only two poems there. They're both really good. You ought to write more now, especially in the mood you're in. And thanks for the nice comment.

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