A selective collection of humorous one liners that bring smile on your face ...If you understand English :)

Your dressing is incomplete untill  you have a smile on your face
Your dressing is incomplete untill you have a smile on your face | Source

Smile is becoming more of a rarely found event on most of ours faces. It seems that we have to protect and preserve it in pretty much the same way as we are trying to do for the endangered species. So here is humble effort from me, while you can put your effort in compiling similar hub or at least share some funny one liner in comments.

Source

Smiley Quotes

  1. Money does not bring happiness ….but it is somehow more convenient to cry sitting in Limousine than sitting on bicycle
  2. Forgive your enemies…….but don’t forget their names.
  3. The difference between honest and corrupt is very simple… the honest person has a VALUE and the corrupt has a PRICE
  4. It is nice to be wise, if possible!!!
  5. Never argue with an idiot. From a distance no one can tell which one is the idiot.
  6. My boss promised me that he will give extra holidays when we done with our targets…..He got sense of humor: D
  7. They offer “Competitive salary” because they remain competitive by paying you less than their competition.
  8. When something works well, somebody will try and fix it.
  9. Men socialize by insulting each other, but they don't really mean it. Women socialize by complementing each other, and they don't really mean it either.
  10. If something works well, you will see quite a few surprised people around it.
  11. If People are surprised Around you, Surely! you're working well. ;)
  12. I went on a diet and lost 14 days in two weeks.
  13. A bicycle is an inconvenient way to exercise because after you’re done you’re somewhere else
  14. "Some tortures are physical, some are mental; the one that is both is dental".
  15. Facebook is the second most popular word which starts with 'F' and ends with 'K'.
  16. Most women are not as young as they are painted
  17. Good ............. comes from experience, and experience comes from bad ...........
  18. By definition, one divided by zero is undefined.
  19. My girlfriend just curled her hair with her hair strengtheners.
  20. Q - when does old age start ....Ans - when you start switching of light due to economical reasons rather than romantic reasons
  21. If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
  22. "Hard work killed no one", but why take the risk???
  23. Practice makes man perfect….Hmmm ...but what about woman…?
  24. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
  25. She got her good looks from her father.............He's a plastic surgeon
  26. I know Kung Foo, Karate, and 47 other dangerous words.
  27. Coffee just isn't my cup of tea.
  28. He is so open-minded that he often forgets to zip his pants.
  29. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.

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Comments 7 comments

Bethaleg profile image

Bethaleg 4 years ago from Minnesota

LOL Thanks for the laugh! A smile a day sure keeps the grumpiness at bay!


ahmed.b profile image

ahmed.b 4 years ago from Sweden Author

You are welcome Bethaleg! I am happy that this hub has made you laugh. Thanks for the nice comment but don't you think that "a smile a day" is too less for a reasonable person..:)

Enjoy and have a smiley day


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

I am still laughing as I type! What funny quotes. Thanks for the laughter and the enjoyable read here.


ahmed.b profile image

ahmed.b 4 years ago from Sweden Author

@teaches12345 It gives me pleasure that I am the reason smile for at least some of the faces in this world. Well! Thank you for stopping by and reading it


kathryn1000 profile image

kathryn1000 4 years ago from London

Just what I needed today.


ahmed.b profile image

ahmed.b 4 years ago from Sweden Author

Thank you Kathryn1000 for stopping by and I feel delighted that it has made your day :)


kathryn1000 profile image

kathryn1000 4 years ago from London

Thank you,Ahmed

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