defeated


Desperate cries once left my lips

Even tears seem so far away

Frightening thoughts invade every moment

Every dream a nightmare these days

Always clutching to crumbling earth it seems

Thoughts of the battles I used to meet

Ended now, shattered in

Defeat

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Comments 12 comments

always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

I want to think this is a victory. A battle you've won, am i correct? Then when I reread it, The line, ' Every dream a nightmare these days ' makes me wonder if your battle continues. Whichever it is, only you can explain. Very compelling words to ponder. Love ya...


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Kinda of dark. Some of these things are losing a battle not the war. Discouraged rather than defeated. All the greatest Generals are aware of this feeling.


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 4 years ago from Maryland Author

Its my battle, its been a long one...going back to work with my job and they've laid me off again. Ruby, its me who's defeated. I'm so very tired sister. Love ya.


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 4 years ago from Maryland Author

thanks Mck, this was a long series of battles...ever since trying to come back after my disability - my company never has found a permanent position for me and finally they laid me off. I've lost faith in them, and the whole process has chipped away at my self esteem. I'm sorry to be dark. You know me...I need to sit there in order to emerge again on the other side stronger.I just can't even see the other side right now.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

Erin, Life sure does SUCK sometime. I've been down since I lost my Sis. Virgie, just about the time i think i can forget, a memory pops up and my crying starts again. I've been thinking about taking a cruise, but can't seem to get excited enough to know where. We both are going to feel better. I know you will find a better job, with your talent, it's just a matter of time. Take care Girlfriend..Love Ya ******


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 4 years ago from Maryland Author

a cruise sounds like an excellent idea Ruby. Sometimes when things start closing in, I think its healthy to get away for a bit just to break the chain of stress. Its there when you get back but sometimes a rejuvenated YOU can make all the difference in how you look at it. I'm doing the EXACT same thing, I booked a trip to Jamaica. I love ya Ruby. Take care girlfriend. One of these days, lets just book a trip and visit each other!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

I am reading along, and do not hear words of someone who is defeated. A few days in the Jamaican sun should recharge you and you will be ready to face the world with the same determination that you have always shown.


Erin LeFey profile image

Erin LeFey 4 years ago from Maryland Author

you're right, you got me. its my pattern. somehow that hope always does get to me somehow. I never will be truly defeated because I'm a survivor. Thanks for reminding me. :)


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

One of these days we're going to meet and find why we have this connection until then be happy. I have never been to Jamaica. I did go to the Bahama islands in the 70's and i was miserable. I wanted to be home with my husband Jack. I was with my second husband after my divorce. He took 15 men and their wives because they had made so much money in fescu. I had nothing in commen with any of them. I wanted to go home and be with Jack, but I couldn't. I couldn't forgive him for being unfaithful with my best friend. Life goes on. Hang in there. We are survivers. Love you my friend..


Maralexa profile image

Maralexa 4 years ago from Vancouver, Canada and San Jose del Cabo, Mexico

This is incredibly beautiful, Erin. I have a real sense of understanding some of your pain and perhaps, hopelessness. I read this and immediately think of "Waiting for my wings." I found a similar sense of hopeless, helpless defeat in that piece of beautiful writing. As a matter of fact, I frequently think of "Waiting for my wings" when I hide from the world because of my pain. It reminds me that I can not even guess at my future and perhaps I should just let it unfold naturally.

It is never easy for me but I must say, your writing has truly helped me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Marilyn (Maralexa)


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

A brilliant share and here's to so many more by you.

Eddy.


pennyofheaven profile image

pennyofheaven 4 years ago from New Zealand

My dear sister, You paint a very vivid description of powerful emotions that are meant to flow in and out because that is the nature of emotions. I realize you are aware of this and I also know that the strength and courage deep within your inner most being will rise to the occasion when the time comes. Lots of love and healing to you.

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