i knew it

suggestion turned confession

of the things in which you've done

turned around when you mentioned

it wasn't coming... had already come.

i stand there like a silhouette

not knowing what to feel

how to handle

the knowledge

and if in fact it meant, that nothings real.

slightly changing course

as the corner turns to me

reaching out for me to turn it

fearing what id see.

was it just misunderstanding

or did i just get burned

hard to handle truths and knowledge

when your the only one it hurts

i sit and wonder why

it hasn't made me crumble down

someone else has felt your petals

kissed your sweet lips with their mouth

is it devastation

or does it matter at all

kind of worried about my feelings

and if i feel anything at all

i could just dismiss it

or knock it fucking down

but it might be disingenuous

since Ive no feelings to be found

searching for the meaning

analytical to the core

maybe it really did mean nothing

i think

as i lay here on the floor

from feeling everything to nothing

search the sky for greater truth

and wonder why i search at all

the truth is seldom more than an emotional noose.







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Comments 13 comments

Secret lies profile image

Secret lies 4 years ago from Redlands California

Laying on the ground is the very meaning of despair. I know what you are going through, I love you. Please take a breath and know that I am with you. Beautifully expressed your painful heart smiles maybe just one more time for me.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 4 years ago from Louisiana

amazing! I absolutely Love this! and relate. I am analytical to the core. used to always hang myself with an emotional noose. always searching for meaning, for reason, for truth, always being lied to..wondering why I search at all and OMG I love this part:

"i sit and wonder why

it hasn't made me crumble down

someone else has felt your petals

kissed your sweet lips with their mouth"

You are awesome :)


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 4 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

Love u too.


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 4 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

Anger fear and insecurity are much easier to write to then despair. Your awesome nikki


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 4 years ago from Louisiana

all of the above are easy for me to write about. Lets be awesome together ;) lol


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 4 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

Agreed nikki. Agreed.


dracaslair 4 years ago

nice hub.i like tori amos


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 4 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

Isnt she fabulous?


mikielikie profile image

mikielikie 4 years ago from Texas

I really like this poem. My eyes have been too far away from your works for way too long. You are an awesome writer. What a wonderful gift you have.


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 4 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

I am heart full of humility. Thank you.


SilentReed profile image

SilentReed 4 years ago from Philippines

"The truth will set you free" have become a cliche, so I found this line in your poem "The truth is seldom more than an emotional noose" something to ponder upon. In moments of despair are we really console by the naked truth or does it not drive us deeper into a state of abandonment where all hope seem lost.


over it 4 years ago

let it go you are much better than this..I t hasbeen going on for almost 2 years and it does not get better.I t was because I was a famous and edstablished model and quite the catch...


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 4 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

hey can you email me who you are on here, or are you not on here. i out in the name you emailed me, if your on here i wanted to check out your hubs, not say anything about this on your pages. 2 years? jeez.

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