in my dreams im beautiful
In my dreams...im pretty
thinner and more fair
which I don't understand because actually...
I think i'm pretty close to being quite beautiful.
But every night there I appear
fullness fallen from my thighs...
greener eyes...
and smaller hips.
Bigger lips, and stomach gone
as if it was long long before
my son was born.
How is that a dream?
in light i'm proud of my body, and all of my scars
the stretch marks that brought forth
the realization of who I really am... who all of us really are.
and im not sitting here all "Helen Reddy" boasting about my body and roaring like a feminist...
im just sitting here
wondering
why in my subconscious mind...im not enough for me.
just like anybody else, I want to put my best foot forward.
But to me that only means the shiniest version of what I already am
not a changed one...
So I've decided that from now on ill fall asleep with my hand on my stomach
so that I can take it with me when I go
to dreams, to nightmares, to endless sleep-scape's...
there my dreams....and id kind of like to be there.
