in my dreams im beautiful

In my dreams...im pretty

thinner and more fair

which I don't understand because actually...

I think i'm pretty close to being quite beautiful.

But every night there I appear

fullness fallen from my thighs...

greener eyes...

and smaller hips.

Bigger lips, and stomach gone

as if it was long long before

my son was born.

How is that a dream?

in light i'm proud of my body, and all of my scars

the stretch marks that brought forth

the realization of who I really am... who all of us really are.

and im not sitting here all "Helen Reddy" boasting about my body and roaring like a feminist...

im just sitting here

wondering

why in my subconscious mind...im not enough for me.

just like anybody else, I want to put my best foot forward.

But to me that only means the shiniest version of what I already am

not a changed one...

So I've decided that from now on ill fall asleep with my hand on my stomach

so that I can take it with me when I go

to dreams, to nightmares, to endless sleep-scape's...

there my dreams....and id kind of like to be there.




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3 comments

Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota

I just love this poem and the message you convey. It is weird how we sometimes dream things that we think we have worked through. Our subconscious has little secrets that we don't always understand. This poem really touched me. Here's to sweet dreams of the beautiful woman you are in real life.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 3 years ago from Louisiana

This poem just shows how much you are still figuring out just how great you are, and your own personal worth. Perhaps your dreams are just reminding you. by taking away how much you have grown (and I dont mean just physically, i mean emotionally, and mentally) and make you appreciate that tummy, and those scars, and those hips and thighs just a little bit more. because you are beautiful, no matter what.


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 3 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

could be....could be :)

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