independant

 i need you to know

that i am emotionally independant.

i want to be with you all of the time

but that is not reality.

i miss you when im not with you

but that doesnt seem enough to you.

even when you say its ok

you seem to be pushing me.

things have happened very fast

and i am only protecting myself.

i have broken my own rules,

i have exposed myself too freely,

and i need a little space.

space does not equal break

unless you decided it does.

but i can not wake up everyday

feeling obligated.

i can not go back to hinging

the way i feel

on another persons company.

because one day, if or when your gone

where will i be?

lost.

i dont want to be lost

i have found myself

and it is important to me

to remember who i am

i am not part of a set

i stand alone and can still be whole

i love that about me

and i dont want it to change.

i need to slow down.

i need to be able to breath

i can feel that you feed off of me

and im flattered to be that for you

but id lile to keep some of me for myself.

so please

understand when i need time

understand that i like my space

understand that instead of speeding through this and getting there faster...

were going to fast and were going to crash.

slow down with me

lighten up about it

take the moments we have as opportunitys

instead of necessitys

i dont know

not sure how you will feel about this

but i love who i am

and maybe, i need to spend some time with myself alone sometimes.

 

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Comments 8 comments

Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

I am impressed by your ability to express your emotions so openly--pain, fear, self-confidence or doubt. I hope the person you are writing to here can understand your needs. I have been on both sides, needing too much and also being needed too much--it can be worked out.

Whatever your relationship with this person evolves into, I hope it is what you wish it to be.

Have a good Sunday.

Mike


Jade 6 years ago

Very witty. I'm impressed as well. Chaotic and whole.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

...a very stark confessional personal piece of writing - and extremely honest and raw - one of your hallmarks as a seasoned writer!

By the way you look marvelous darlingggggggg in your new hat and lovely earrings too ...I keep thinking when I come here - you are always on the cover of Vogue magazine but with the mind of a writer from the New York Times!

Unbeatable combination I'd say - but then again no one beats the Pink Umbrella - independence is one of your strong attributes!


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

epigramman- rather be seen on the new york times. Writers footsteps echo long after they are gone. models footprints are erased with the first moping of the runway.


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

jade- witty no, impressive, maybe. understood...hopefully.


the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me. Author

Mike- who are we if we are not understood by others? I like to think of myself as a christmas ornimate with a crack in it. Precious, similar, and unique. Beautiful yet flawed. I embrace who i am, and make no apologies. Please keep reading, this is just getting good.


sligobay profile image

sligobay 6 years ago from east of the equator

Hi Pink- Nice new profile picture; you look pretty in pink. I can't help think of legally blonde, bend and snap,which I saw some years ago with my daughters. I think that your photo and this Hub exudes a new confidence in yourself which has hopefully been helped by your followers on Hubpages. Keep writing and sticking up for yourself on the personal front. Cheers.


puresilence profile image

puresilence 6 years ago from New Delhi

Again beautifully crafted lines.. how full of energy, passion and little ego:).. though in a way of introspection I guess

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