Yes! Winter is Too &%$* Cold

Mpls. Blizzard

Our street during the 1991 Halloween Blizzard
Our street during the 1991 Halloween Blizzard

My “It’s Too Dammed Cold!” Rant

by A. Gagliardi

OK. I’ve had just about enough of winter. Actually, winter is all right, and would be wonderful if it were about 50 degrees warmer. It’s just that I hate being cold all the time. It is making me SO grouchy. I’ve been cold since late October and I’ve had just about all I can stand. Even sitting is no fun. It’s cold where ever I go, here in the Twin Cities.

I took a trip to St. Cloud – it’s cold there. I went to Hugo. Yup, cold there too. It’s cold outside; and it’s cold inside in many places. I just feel like wearing my coat all day long. And if it isn’t cold inside, it’s just so hot you need to strip down to your bikini. Then you have to spend a half hour redressing just to go back outside – which you must do to get home.

It’s just harder to live in the cold weather. You have to wear two pair of socks. It’s a fight to get jeans on over thick tights or winter gahtahs (long underwear ). There is the undershirt, the turtleneck, the sweater and possibly the vest over that. Then, if you want to go outside you still need to put on a coat, hat, scarf, mittens, and boots.

You absolutely must wear gloves or mittens because car steering wheels are so very cold. And the garage door doesn’t want to go up. It usually takes mine about four tries to make it halfway. Sometimes I have to go to my car, take out the door opener, go stand by the garage door and push the button. When the door goes up about four inches (where it usually stops) I need to help it along with a slight pull - - but not too hard a pull or it will go off the track.

Then you have to squeeze your child into the car seat that now is too small because you’ve put about ten extra pounds of clothing on them. And you are mentally begging them not to have to go to the bathroom because that will put you about an hour behind schedule. When you do get all their coats on, they can hardly walk. I noticed that children are a lot heavier and harder to carry all bundled up.

The car is usually cold until about one block before my destination. The windows steam up if I don’t have the blower on high, so I am in a frigid gale as I drive down the street. I might just as well have the windows open. And don’t even get me started on the state of our streets with the shalom of ice moguls on every side street, black ice on the thorough fares, and pot holes popping up as the pavement freezes and cracks.

Everything takes longer in winter. It takes longer to get any place. In the summer you say “Good-bye.” Your grab your bag and out the door you go. In winter you say, “Good-bye.” Then you put on your extra pair of socks, the boots, your coat that you button or zip up; find your hat and gloves, put on those items and grab your scarf for around your neck.

Then you say, “Goodbye” again. Now you don’t have your car keys in hand, so you have to take off your gloves to rummage around in your purse and pockets. There is simply no way you can get your glove inside your coat or pants pocket and back out again. You finally retrieve the car keys from wherever they were. Now, you say good-bye again, keys in gloved hand, bag over your shoulder, hat, scarf and boots all in place. Chances are the door will be stuck and you will have to take off your gloves again to help jimmy the door open before you can get out in to the frozen wonderland that is Minnesota.

Taking the bus is not picnic either. You have to stand on the corner (it’s always the windier side of the street) for God only knows how long. Yes I do have a bus schedule and you’d think the bus company would have the same schedule. But Nooooooo! Then, when you finally get on the bus, you have to take your gloves off to find the right amount of change or your bus card. You know you always drop it if you carry the bus card around in your gloves, so you keep it in a good spot – one only your bare hand will be able to get to.

I was at the Winter Carnival Torchlight Parade Saturday night, in downtown St. Paul. I was thinking of pulling my hood over my hat to get a bit warmer, but the hood was already up. I had forgotten my scarf and criticized myself for being so thoughtless.

Some man who was standing next to me said "What's the matter with us Minnesotans? We are nuts to be standing out here in this cold, freezing our ____ es off!”

“But, we Minnesotans are so hearty! It can’t possibly be as cold as we feel it is. Anyway, isn’t this fun?” I responded back to him and we both laughed at our foolishness. What IS the matter with us?

As I sit at my computer, my legs get so cold I have to take breaks to run-up-and-down-the-stairs in order to get my blood circulating again. I literally sit shivering in my chair. My cup of hot coffee chills to a frosty mug in a matter of minutes.

When we sit at the kitchen breakfast booth – even through the walls are insulated, the cold insinuates itself onto the seat and under our shirts. It gathers ice crystals down our backs. I hate that. I hate having to find a blanket to sit on, so I won’t freeze while I eat my meals.

If I get up from my warm bed during the night, I get cold just going outside the covers. The nighttime always seems more cold than the daytime. I equate light with warmth and dark with cold, so there you go.

I cannot find a toilet seat that is not sub zero in my house. I have three bathrooms, two have wooden seats and one is plastic. But they all feel like metal, I tell you. Frozen metal! And when my butt touches that frozen metal it is instantly frozen, too. Then as I sit there, my butt warms the toilet seat just enough to create a little moisture and viola! Picture the tongue on the metal pipe scene that is so familiar to us all and apply that thought to my thighs on the toilet seat.

Any water that I manage to coax out of my shivering body, instantly forms tiny ice cubes as it hits the toilet water. Yes, my once-warm-but-never-again-butt clings to that frozen toilet seat as I try to leave it. So, now you know how painful it can be, to be cold, in the dark bathroom during the night.

My husband, bless his soul, is an energy conscious man. We are saving the environment and our budget by keeping the house at 65 degrees – OK, so some days it is actually 63 or 64 degrees, and other days it creeps dangerously close to 67 or 68. That said; we do have lots of sweaters and blankets to wrap ourselves in as we go about our hobbies, housework, or homework.

Then my children come over with the grand kids and want to go outside for some winter fun. “What is the matter with them?” I wonder. It’s just too, too cold to go out.

The sun is shining. The kids are having fun building a snow fort, then a snowman in the back yard. I can hear them shouting and laughing. Oh, Oh. They need some help out there. They don’t know how to make a snow person. They’ve got it all wrong. He needs a carrot nose and scarf or he’ll just freeze up, for heaven’s sake. I’ll just grab my coat and bring these things out. Now, where did I put my mittens?

Winter cold? Oh, never mind.

playing in the snow

More by this Author

Comments 21 comments

agaglia profile image

agaglia 2 years ago Author


If you are indeed responding to my hub page on the cold weather, I appreciate your comments. Thank you. To become a writer, just write every day. Write about stuff you know. Don't be afraid to make mistakes.

Put our your work for folks to review and respond to. Keep asking questions. Good luck.

Ferdinand 2 years ago

Fantastic blog! Do you have any tips and hints for aspiring wtirers? I'm hoping to start my own site soon but I'm a little lost on everything. Would you suggest starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I'm completely confused .. Any ideas? Thanks a lot!

agaglia profile image

agaglia 5 years ago Author


Warmer temperatures -- and I know there will be repercussions.

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

I said *overall* winter babies like cold, but I have come across exceptions, and you happen to be one of them. (Of course, hubbers already knew how YOU are an exceptional person.) :-)

As for the warmer temps in MN this year, I read recently that temps in the northern U.S. are 40 degrees higher than normal this year. That's huge! Yes, it keeps the snow away, but less snow means less water in the lakes and rivers later on. Those uncommon higher temps will play out similar to what happened here in central OK this past summer, when the mercury rarely dipped below 100 for three straight months. Even in the wee hours, the temp would hover in the mid-to-high 80s. So much for slipping outside for a bit of pre-dawn coolness. Anyway, enjoy the respite from your usual winter while you can. Who knows how long it'll last, right?

agaglia profile image

agaglia 5 years ago Author


Perhaps I am the exception that proves the rule for your theory as I am born in January. Ha! This year has been so mild that all our pouting is put to shame. It has been really, mild and we are all waiting for the other shoe to drop and a heavy snow fall to ensue. Needless to say, there will be ramifications of the milder weather that we may not like any more than sub zero weather.

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

I have a theory that how one reacts to cold is related to the time of year one was born. For instance, I was born in June and HATE winter, whereas my #3 daughter born at the end of December LOVES it. I've taken unofficial, non-scientific surveys at places I've worked and **overall**, grown-up winter babies are the ones who can't wait to get to the ski slopes, while summer and late-spring babies can't wait for it to be warm enough to shed the tons of winter clothing and go water-skiing.

That said, you'll probably laugh that my newest favorite murder mystery books are the Hannah Swensen "cookie murders" set in a small Minnesota town in which she rants about having to dress sub-zero to take out the trash, and in one book had ripped out 7 head-bolt heater cords that she forgot to unplug before driving off to work. I have NO plans to visit MN in winter, but on the off-chance I ever do, I now know what to expect to survive a "normal" day. You have my sympathies!

agaglia profile image

agaglia 5 years ago Author

Hi JammaGenee, Thanks for your family history. It is true that our ancestors do determine our fate - to a certain extent. My grandparents immigrated to South Dakota to live in a sod cabin and farm. This was where my parents grew up and met. My father's family lived on a small farm just north of the state line in North Dakota. When I was 12 our family moved to Minnesota and I have lived here ever since. The midwest has terrible winters (altho this winter has been unusually mild), but beautiful springs, lovely summers and spectacular autumns.

What is six months of winter compared to that? ; }

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Annette, I was born and raised in northeast Kansas, because that's where several branches of ancestors planted themselves after coming out from Iowa, Illinois, Pennsylvania, and even the North of England. My mother's maternal grandparents and all of her siblings had the good sense to go on to warm and sunny year-round California, but not until my grandmother had married a dairyman and *had* to remain behind. A friend's family did the same but *her* mother stayed behind. Every winter we'd vow to move south, anywhere where no one would recognize a snow shovel, and last year I actually did it. Altho we do get snow in central OK, it doesn't last long.

So you have my heartfelt sympathies for all the inconveniences of living in Minnesota, especially the necessity of the extra 20 minutes it takes to dress warmly for a 5-minute trip to the store. I do NOT miss that part at all! Unless it's raining, I just slip on a pair of Crocs and a jacket and go. (Rain requires sneakers and the tying thereof.)

You probably don't want to know that I popped down to Dallas last Sunday, where it was 70 or close to it and several 20-somethings were in SHORTS. On New Year's Day! Guess I haven't been gone from Kansas long enough to find that a bit strange.

If it's any consolation, living in a warm climate means the mercury can (and will) hover at 100+ in the summer, and there IS such a thing as Summer Cabin Fever, that it can be just too bloody hot to leave the house and the AC without an adequate supply of ice water or other cold beverage.

agaglia profile image

agaglia 5 years ago Author

Donna, I would LOVE to be in Italy - any time of year. I will go there some day.

agaglia profile image

agaglia 5 years ago Author


HI. I just came back from Tucson. What a sunny place!

Oooh, too bad for you with the real one day of summer. that is cold - literally.

thanks for reading.

RNMSN profile image

RNMSN 5 years ago from Tucson, Az

such a perfct ental image of winter in the north agaglia!!

now you know why my heart home is the desert

the last year we lived in Martin City Montana my David built ,me a fire in the wood stove 364 days that yr!!!

yes the one day of summer is TRUE!!

so you better plan well Kebennett!! and do NOT make it the 4th of JULY!! its BOUND to SNOW!!!

agaglia profile image

agaglia 5 years ago Author

You are right, temperatures feel colder or warmer during different times of the year. If we get a 30 degree day in January, it is warm! But in July it is Cold.

agaglia profile image

agaglia 5 years ago Author

Donna, Thank you! Will winter ever end? This has been a winter like the ones when I was a child.

agaglia profile image

agaglia 6 years ago Author

Donna, we dont' think about other countries much, but yes! it gets cold in Italy too.

agaglia profile image

agaglia 6 years ago Author

Ok, I've found the perfect remedy for these cold MInnesota nights. I have a simple glass of red wine, my menopause kicks in and I get my own personal summer. problem solved =)

No, I am not turning into a wino, but it might be something to worry about next winter.

Kebennett1 profile image

Kebennett1 6 years ago from San Bernardino County, California

I agree with you. It is still too cold, and I live in the high desert area in California. Minnesota I could not handle. My two boys live in New Hampshire BRRRR and they want us to fly up and visit. Not until this summer I told them :) Thank God for warmer weather! Bring it on. PS. My husband has family in Minnesota.

habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

Heck, it's cold here in South GA, and we even had snow! Can't imagine what it's like in Minnesota! Brrrrr

Moulik Mistry profile image

Moulik Mistry 6 years ago from Burdwan, West Bengal, India

Excellent writing, loved it...

agaglia profile image

agaglia 6 years ago Author

Betty, You are right. We DO feel colder in the winter. I think, partly because the air is dryer. Another thing I noticed is that we don't put enough moisturizer on our skin (Can you believe it?!) in the winter. When our feet and legs (especially) are dry, they feel colder. Anyway, thanks for reading -- and for commenting.

Betty Ann 6 years ago

Love this!!!! I know your house is cold, but Annette, do you really stick to the toilet seat? Quite the image, though. Why does 65 degrees feel so much colder in the winter than it does in the summer? We'd be outside sitting on the porch if it was summer. Yet, inside, we are snuggling under covers or inside layers of sweaters.

Glad to know others are feeling it like I am.

thanks for putting it so well into words.

donna bamford profile image

donna bamford 6 years ago from Canada

You better believe it it's cold. I long to be in italy where aurely it is a bit milder. Why did my ancestors ever come here i wonder. And why didn't they go back? I think it's about -18 celciuos here today. And no end in sight. And no end in sight. Good hub. Right to the point.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article