Commute

Commute

Mental raping;
Metal scraping,
Upon high skies,
Over high tides.

Lanky, dreary,
Sedentary;
Gritty, snugly,
Pretty ugly.

In plain sight,
With such great heights;
She’s first up front,
And she’s a cunt.

Second one out,
After a shout;
Might be shorter,
Not a hoarder.

Something purer;
There’s no mirror;
Outside matches
Inside’s thatches

Tickle, quiver,
Fickle shiver;
Corollary,
Ordinary.

Inner canter,
Outer banter,
Upon sunrise,
Close my eyes.

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Comments 3 comments

dotty1 profile image

dotty1 5 years ago from In my world

I am so happy to have found some time to read yur hubs, they are brilliant. As an aspiring poet I can put into perspective critic for my own work when I see 'pace, flow excitement' demonstrated so perfectly.


jdflom profile image

jdflom 5 years ago from Sacramento, CA Author

I'm glad you enjoy them and that I can help! :)


dotty1 5 years ago

I did enjoy this very much. And I have appreciated and taken onboard all of your coments so thank you

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