If Only

If Only

The pain stayed a while,
From being filleted,
Outward flung vile bile,
And in that room I stayed.

Scared, scarred, but healing,
The monster was removed,
For it was only stealing,
My essence and my groove.

Once I had been shoved,
I was tangled by her lies,
And the one I once loved,
Had wished that I had died.

I moved beyond her reach,
And started a new journey,
Dreamed of a pristine beach,
As I lied upon a gurney.

Going home was just a ruse,
I needed one more thing,
But I had something to lose,
And I knew that this would sting.

Several months of agony,
Poisoning my blood,
Tried to avoid a tragedy,
So I started on the bud.

My stomach wailed,
My fingers tingled,
My appetite failed,
The pills intermingled.

Hallucinations I couldn't block,
I could never feel just right,
My tongue tasted of chalk,
I was confused about my plight.

Lost my motivations,
Days drifted on forever,
But I exceeded expectations,
Despite my mental waiver.

And when the poison ceased,
The numbness wasn’t deserved,
I felt like I could breath,
Despite my lack of nerves.

I may have won the battle,
But the war is never done,
I think back to the rattle,
Couldn’t fathom this outcome.

If only, If only, if only,
But I still tug the skinny rope,
Only I’m not so lonely,
With family, friends and hope.

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Comments 1 comment

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cleaner3 4 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

I like your poetry, this is a style of word play that not many can do. great technique and the stanza's carry meaning. very good, my friend. will check out more of your work.

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