Poem: What I observed?

Pigeon
Pigeon

Today, whilst I sat on the oscillating chair,

Thoughts began to flow and those were rare,

They arrived arbitrarily when I closed my eyes,

When I opened my eyes, I saw a pen on my side,

I picked it up slightly and muttered few words –

“Dear Companion, help me in bringing my thoughts into words.”

Suddenly, I heard a noise of a chirping bird,

I went to the balcony and saw and observed,

There was a little pigeon whose voice I heard,

“Oh”, said I, “How cute you are!”

“Where are your parents? Are they too far…?”

There was some silence, for a moment, for a while…

I couldn’t understand his language, yet it was okay and fine,

I wrestled with the question; the reason of his crying,

I couldn’t get any answer, since thoughts were flying,

The voice of my heart was, “He is lost, sad and weeping.”

So, I offered him bread, which he enjoyed it eating,

Truly, it felt great to do all this,

A sense of satisfaction that I didn’t miss,

After sometime, his parents arrived,

Then, I understood the scenario and smiled,

They all seemed jubilant to see each other,

The family got together, I told my mother,

Afterwards, they flew and I wrote what I knew,

This is what I observed and it was something new!


~ Copyright © Surabhi Kaura 2010

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Comments 10 comments

vinividivici profile image

vinividivici 6 years ago

`I couldn’t get any answer, since thoughts were flying'. Line i`ve liked most. It seems, poems come into you very easily. Very Rhythmic!


EatLovePray profile image

EatLovePray 6 years ago from Canada

My fave part was-

"I couldn’t understand his language, yet it was okay and fine,

I wrestled with the question; the reason of his crying,

I couldn’t get any answer, since thoughts were flying"

amazing job..like always... emotions come alive.. =)


Daniel J. Neumann profile image

Daniel J. Neumann 6 years ago from Harrisburg, Pa

Surabhi,

Interesting poem. It reminds of the 17th century Haiku, “The old pond>>>A frog jumps in>>>Plop!”

What I mean is you’re noticing animals and nature. Some might say you’re personifying the bird, while I personally believe you’re discerning feelings radiating from this being. Either way, it’s a successful poem in that it brings awareness to nature. Whether you’re revealing a symbolic vocabulary (like using “flying” as a metaphor for your thoughts) or observing that animals have relationships too, you’ve demonstrated the value of understanding our fellow occupants of this planet.

I thought I found a minor typo in the line, “Dear Companion, help me bringing my thoughts into words.” Should “bringing” be “bring,” or should it read, “…help me [in] bringing my…”?

My favorite line was, “I went to the balcony and saw and observed,” because I don’t see using “saw” and “observed” as redundant. From my interpretation, you’re making a distinction that seeing isn’t the same as studying a form to derive meaning. I receive plenty of things I don’t absorb. I hear plenty of things I don’t listen to. Etc…

Keep up the good work, and don’t stop :)

Thanks for sharing this,

Dan


jdflom profile image

jdflom 6 years ago from Sacramento, CA

This was a very soothing poem to read, not just because of the great rhythm, but also the scenario and how you captured it.

It reminded me of my own thought process and how my mind works when sitting and writing.

Also, there are so many metaphors that can be drawn from it. :)

Excellent work!


triosol profile image

triosol 6 years ago

Lovely poem. Voted up.


swalia profile image

swalia 10 months ago

A beautiful poem. Sometimes nature is the best inspiration for the best of our works.


rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 10 months ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

A sweet short story and what a beautiful poetic way of telling it. Thoroughly enjoyable.


Surabhi Kaura profile image

Surabhi Kaura 10 months ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Thank you, Shaloo and Rajan ji.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 4 months ago from Queensland Australia

Hi, Surabhi. I just came across this very early poem of yours. I found it delightful but have really noticed how you have matured as a poet and writer in the years since. It was interesting to read your writing from long before I got to know you. Love ya.


Surabhi Kaura profile image

Surabhi Kaura 4 months ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Hi, my Sweet! You can see the child in me, eh. Yes, I have improved and matured throughout the years. What a lovely day to see your comment on this old hub, Jodah. Love ya too!

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