One Touch Will Never Be Enough

Have you ever seen the eyes of an Angel?

Or lay chest to chest with a dream?

Realizing that its not about the faces you make

It's just about you

Loving more then the wind blows

Or the sun shows

In the summer

Paralyzed from your stair

It's more then what it seems

A simple touch is not enough

I need it all..

I need you more then you know

Blood flowing

As my heart is showing

Glowing

Pouring my feelings as I try to keep pace

Like a race

Only there is no finish

No checkered flag

Just love...

No words

Just actions

No guessing

Just passion

Hold me close..

I ll hold you closer

Just promise not to let go

Just let it flow

I am knee deep

Head over heels Infatuated, with you

So yes..one touch will never be enough



Comments 11 comments

jhamann profile image

jhamann 4 years ago from Reno NV

I think you should take a look at line length and when you want to poem to speed up in tempo or slow down. I enjoy what you have already but it adds a little flavor to ponder about it. This is a pretty good love poem, I have a hard time with love poems, but this is good. I would recommend reading William Carlos Williams. Keep up the great work and I am excited to read some more. Jamie


cynamans profile image

cynamans 4 years ago from Washington DC

Great poem giftedwriter86,

I really enjoyed reading your writing. keep up the good work.

Best C


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

I think you have a good start here, but there's a few cliches you may want to consider changing and try to do more showing and less telling. You also have inconsistent rhyme and rhythm which can be distracting.


Mawer 4 years ago

When you are in love, it's easy express the deepest part of your feelings towards the one whom you care and love. It will flow like a river, whether poems, songs or just simple writing.


Gran Tatrade profile image

Gran Tatrade 4 years ago from plano

need galaxy s2?if interested reach me at gtalk: coin.collector2017


calico Stark profile image

calico Stark 4 years ago from Earth for the time being

I love this poem! I especially like this part...

"Pouring my feelings as I try to keep pace

Like a race

Only there is no finish

No checkered flag

Just love..."

I love the intensity! Great hub! Vote up and awesome!


giftedwriter86 profile image

giftedwriter86 4 years ago from new castle ,de Author

thank you sooooo much!!!


Perspycacious profile image

Perspycacious 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

The quality is in the treatment you gave this topic, but each of the following lines has a distracting error. Three are the use of "then" when you probably meant "than." One is the word "lay." Another is just a missing apostrophe " ' " in I'll, and you wrote "stair" when you probably meant "stare." These are the lines:

lay chest to chest

Paralyzed from your stair

Loving more then the wind blows

It's more then what it seems

I need you more then you know

I ll hold you closer

This is not meant as criticism, but as help. Again you treated the topic very well, as the other Commenters said.


giftedwriter86 profile image

giftedwriter86 4 years ago from new castle ,de Author

No thank you very much!! I appreciate the criticism as it can be used to help me become a better writer


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

giftedwriter, the main thing to remember is a writer needs to turn an abstract concept (like love) into something concrete. Ass my english professor says, abstract is an idea and concrete is something you can pour gravy on. Maybe instead of sayin "I love you" say something like "When I am with you, it's like white doves bursting through the sky" As like as you make the intangible tangible, you'll succeed as a writer :-)


giftedwriter86 profile image

giftedwriter86 4 years ago from new castle ,de Author

thank you very much for your input it means alot .Sorry for my untimely response

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working