Revenge, Inc. Part 2: A Short Story

Author's Note: I really was pleasantly surprised by the responses the very first installment of Revenge, Inc.garnered and did not think it as the first in a series as I intended it to be a stand-alone short story. However, through the urgings of some of my friends and fans right here at Hubpages, I was inspired to continue forward with this story. Until I see a major drop in traffic and an obvious disdain for this series, I'll continue on with this serial. Thank you for your readership.

With that said, if you have not yet read the first installment of Revenge, Inc. please click here as it will redirect you to that Hub.

Revenge, Inc. Part 2

“Marak? It’s me, Peter…”

I couldn’t believe it. I was about ready to die just a moment ago. I lowered my katana and placed it back into its sheath and let him in. Peter Billingsly. How the hell did I forget? If I didn’t come back tonight at this time, I would have missed him and he probably would’ve been killed in the process of just hanging out here. Guys dressed like Peter don’t last very long here—perhaps as long as it takes for a news van to arrive, which is half the time it takes for an ambulance to arrive and you can forget about the damn cops. They only come out when it’s safe, which is never.

“Did you forget about me?” Peter said while closing the door behind him. “You’re late.” I nodded.

“Yeah, something like that. I had to pay a visit my father. Were you followed?”

“No. And yes, I’m positive.”

“Whatcha’ got?”

“You’re not going to like it.”

“I don’t like anything you give me, you know that.”

“Geez, you got a bathroom in here? I’m a racehorse.”

“Climb out that window and out onto the fire escape—the roof.”

“You got a bathroom on the roof?”

“No.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Never.”

“You know what? Forget it. I’ll hold it in.” I was flipping through the criminal files. Peter was good for that. Thank god I saved his ass in the third grade back when. He’s got a brother-in-law now on the “Other Side,” which is what you know as The Law.

“Who’s this guy and what’s with the shocked-eye? There’s just his profile page and nothing else.”

“Shit. It’s missing. I should have checked before coming…He wants to meet you, you know.” I looked up at him.

“Who? This dirt bag?”

“No, Freddy…My brother-in-law.”

“Well, then it’s gotta be here on my turf with you and on my terms.”

“He won’t like that.”

“Wait until he meets me.”

“You know, I told him the exact same thing.”

“Then he’ll understand. If he and his buddies did things properly, we wouldn’t have to meet. You set it up.” I handed him back his files.

“That’s it? You got everything need?”

“And then some. I can remember, remember?”

“Right, just not tonight.”

“Tonight was an exception.”

“Do you need some help?” He reached for his the inside of his trench coat.

“No, I’ll get by.”

“Listen, don’t tell Caroline but take this.” Peter handed me a key from his leather-gloved hand.

“What’s this?”

“Sanctuary. 441 Townsend. I just bought it and told Caroline that it’s a future investment.”

“Really? In this fucked economy?”

“Hey, she believed me. You’ll find soap, food, clean clothes, and some razors…Shave that shit, huh?”

“All right, but I’m not going to live there.”

“No, I didn’t think you would. That’s why I’m giving you the key. So don’t say shit.” He didn't want me to thank him.

“I wasn’t going to.”

“Right. Well, next week then?”

“Next week. Bring Freddy.”

Peter then left the way he came. I have a problem with saying thank you to anyone. It must be that I’m not thankful for anything, or that I’m thankless or absolutely ungrateful,just like my father says. But about Peter Billingsley…Safe to say he’s the only person I can trust aside from my one-sided father. I’m not sure where the hell I’d be without him. But it wasn’t always like this. No. He needed me much more than I needed him, because beginning in the third grade and all throughout grammar school, middle school and high school, Peter got picked on—that is until I came along.

It just so happens that he had a problem standing up for him self, so after meetin’ me, he realized that he didn’t have to. I didn’t mind helping him either, so I guess that’s why he doesn’t mind helping me out now, or during the time when after I lost Adrianna after Haley was born. Adrianna had taken in a deep breath and smiled and never woke up. And only for a moment, I thought she was just tired from the delivery and all and so needed some rest, until the entire delivery room went into a complete uproar of sorts, with the Doc Greenwood shouting out orders and I stepped aside with my thumb up my ass not knowing what to do but watch helplessly as they tried without any success to bring Adrianna back to me—back to Haley and me. Haley’s birthday was Adrianna’s death day. And Haley’s cries were awful and I can hear her still, as if in pain from losing her mother who she never ever get to know.

So I did the best I could with what I had and mind you, I didn’t have much. I was a fucking idiot when it came to diapers and formula and teething—it was just around the time I met Jessica who knew a bit more about it than I did, who came to me ( now that I think about it) after some pity for me and Haley. I think she split after hearing me gripe about Adrianna one too many times and so quit after realizing that I’d never give up loving Adrianna no matter what. I remember bathing poor little Haley in our bathroom sink and wasn’t sure how to do it, about whether or not to put my hands between her tiny little thighs and got all embarrassed about it to no one in particular as I was afraid that God himself would smite me right on the spot for touching my own daughter ‘down there.’ And I remember breaking down and my own tears then, falling from me as I couldn’t help it anymore and falling to my knees right there in my own bathroom while Haley enjoyed herself in her little makeshift bathtub talking baby talk to herself.

But somehow I got through that—we—got through that. The years I spent with Haley were some of the best and memorable years of my life. God took Adrianna away from me, but in exchange, gave me Haley. With the onset of the fall season, I can’t help but remember Halloween and taking her trick-or-treating for the first time. She always loved Tigger so that’s what she was. Back then the neighborhood was much cleaner and much nicer. There was much that I had to learn, but somehow both of us came out okay for a little while.

When she reached the eighth grade, she came home one day and asked me if it would be okay if she could go out on a date. She told me that she, “Really liked this boy” and that the two of them “wanted to go steady.” Well, I told her exactly how I felt and that was that she was way too young to be seeing any “boys.” That was when she turned on me, when she got angry at me for the first time and told me that if her mother were around that, ‘She would understand!’ That was when I did the worst thing I ever did to her: I slapped her. It took absolutely no thought and so was automatic. I was surprised by my own speed. I tell you my heart broke into million pieces just as soon as I did. Haley then began to cry some more and ran up the stairs to her room. When I went up to call her down for dinner she told me that she wasn’t hungry and for me to leave her alone. That night I could barely sleep thinking about Haley. The following morning she came down to the kitchen eager to eat. I made her waffles with whipped cream and strawberries—it was her favorite. She had two platefuls gulped down her milk and ran over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” I told her. “I never meant to hurt you, ever.”

“It’s okay Daddy. I can’t stay mad at you.”

“I promise I’ll never hurt you again, you hear me?”

“Dad! I told you that it’s okay!”

“Go out with that boy, all right? Have a good time.”

“Really? No kidding?”

“No kidding, sweetie. Just don’t let him touch you.”

“Then can I touch him?” I gave her a look. “Geez, Dad, lighten up! I was only kidding!”

“Okay, don’t make me regret this.” Haley rolls her eyes.

“Fine, dad…Thanks.” She kisses me again. “I’m sure Charlie will be happy too.”

“All right, go before you miss your bus. Tell me about what happens when you get home.” And that was the last time the two of us talked to one another.

...Okay, I gotta stop. I can’t fuckin’ talk anymore more about Haley. It hurts too goddamn much. Right now, I need a drink.

...I told myself a long time ago that I didn’t need money to live, that I’d get by and that all I needed was my rage and my ability to fight. But then again, I told myself that Haley was going to grow up strong and beautiful and would go on off to college, where she would meet the man of her dreams and make me a couple of gran kids to play with…

And that’s where her story ends.

And that’s where my story begins.

But in my hands I hold her heart of gold—my keepsake—the memory of her wrapped around my neck with the last picture of her inside, before her…abduction. That fucking word is like acid on my tongue. Haley. She has her mother’s jade-green eyes and her mother’s radiant blonde hair—the mother she never got to know—the only woman I ever loved. I kiss her and Adrianna goodnight every night. The two of them live next to each other, side-by-side inside Haley’s heart and right above mine. Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is Haley’s birthday.

Read Revenge, Inc. Part 3...

© Copryright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

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Comments 71 comments

Caleb Baccus profile image

Caleb Baccus 7 years ago

Truly Entertaining


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you, Caleb Baccus. I appreciate you reading me.


keira7 profile image

keira7 7 years ago

Hi Dohn121, You are a very good writer. I am so happy that I came to HubPages to discover all this great naturel talented writers like you. Excellent. Thanks Dohn121. You have the gift. Take care. God Bless.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you again, Keira! I'm happy that I found you as a supporter of my work. It's always good to hear from you. I wish you lots of success in all of your endeavors!


Duchess OBlunt 7 years ago

Well, you left me wanting more Dohn. I hope there will be more ?

Good job


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 7 years ago from Ontario/Canada

Dohn...no time to rest now...I want more so get with the program already. I'm still waiting...

Good work, I'll be back for the next installment and the next and the one after that.

regards Zsuzsy


Scott.Life 7 years ago

another great piece of writing my friend, I look forward to the day when I can buy your book.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Duchess--Thanks, for the compliment. Yes, there definitely will be more. I began doing storyboards already and so now know where this will go.

Zsuzsy Bee--Hi! I'm working as fast as I can (I have 3 other projects that I'm working on!) Thank you so much for your interest in this serial!

Scott--Thanks, Scott! Hopefully that time will be sooner rather than later. I appreciate your support, buddy.


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 7 years ago from Upstate New York

Good deal, you're keeping it going. Thank you!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Yes, I am Paradise. I just hope that I don't get chastised if the story should fall south of the equator. Thanks for reading as always.


pgrundy 7 years ago

Wow. This is really developing into something special. Are you doing the NaNoWriMo thing in November? You could make it into a novella or novel--50,000 words in one month, that's the commitment. I'm going to do it but I'm scared. I've NEVER been able to finish a novel. Robert Sloan from HP is doing it too. You could really do well with this, honestly I'm sure you could get it published. Looking forward to more. :)

(PS--You are so organized too with all your listings at the end--you put me to shame! Now I have all these ideas about how I could do better here. Thank you!)


Am I dead, yet? 7 years ago

Dohn--I really do hope you continue with this series and also take PG's recommendation to write this as a novel! This is so well written and it has the suspense and tension of a great revenge story. Your endings are always perfect--leaving the reader always wanting more. Awesome Dohn!


juneaukid profile image

juneaukid 7 years ago from Denver, Colorado

You're on the roll!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Pam--Thank you! I'm happy to see that you like this story (including everyone else that's reading it) and hope to not let anyone down! I'll do my best to deliver :D This is the first time hearing of the NaNoWriMo thing...I think I read a comment you made somewhere on a forum about writing a novella a while ago however, so this must be it. I would love to join, it's just that I have other commitments right now and throughout the month of November...I'll definitely look into it in the meantime. Thank you again, Pam!

AIDY--*sighs* I'm just not sure if I can make this into a novel just yet...I know I can make it into a novella however! 40,000 to 50,000 words is definitely possible for me. Thank you so much for your comment, as that is exactly what I aim to do with this serial. I'll admit, I read a few graphic novels and comic books (both good and bad) and the best ones were able to get me drooling for more!

juneaukid--So far so good, I guess! (Just don't throw any rotten produce at me if I don't "produce")


myownworld profile image

myownworld 7 years ago from uk

i just love the way you've talked about Adrianna and how difficult it was initially with Haley. One's heart just reaches out...

keep posting, truly enjoyed!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Hey, myownworld. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I just hope that I can keep up with the demands of my readers and hope that I can come up with more material for my characters. I've outlined a couple of mental storyboards and so far, I like the results. Thank you for reading!


ralwus 7 years ago

You're a pretty good storyteller too dohn. I enjoyed this one too. Ahh, the joys of fatherhood. I too struggled with 'touching' my little girls, I prefer mom to do that, but then those emergencies always pop up don't they? And why does everyone like to use my name in stories? LOL Not just here either. Charlie must be the most famous name in fiction. sheesh! Well, at least you have been like my late brother in calling me Charles. LOL peace dohn, CC


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 7 years ago from London, UK

Cheers Dohn. Nice of you to share this with us. Enjoyed it. Look forward to reading the next chapter very Soon. No pressure. lol.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Hey, Charles! Yes, your name is certainly popular. I think that part of it is that it has a innocent ring to it (although I'm not at all accusing you of being innocent, lol). Thanks for the compliment and for reading and following this story. I really do appreciate it :D

Hi, Lady_E. Thank you for me. I'll do my best to keep your company along the way :D Hopefully, I won't let you or anyone else down!


Philent profile image

Philent 7 years ago

Maybe you should write a book instead and let the one published here as your teasers...on the second thought maybe just finish it here, I may not afford to buy your book LOL! I'm loving this already.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

I've grown attached to this particular story, Philent. I'm not exactly sure how many more parts I'm going to do. I see your point and could consequently do both. I'm going to need some time to think about it. Thank you for the suggestion!


Useful Knowledge 7 years ago

I am ready for part three. Excellent write!!!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks so much UK! You're a big reason why I'm going forward with this.


Enelle Lamb profile image

Enelle Lamb 7 years ago from Canada's 'California'

Good writers garner faithful fans - as is evidenced by the response your work is getting! Great story dohn - very impressed with the tone - excellent writing! Looking forward to the next one ;)


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you Enelle. It's always a treat to see a familiar face. Part 3 should be ready in about 2 days. Hearing from great hubbers like yourself is motivating me to continue onward!


sukhera143 profile image

sukhera143 7 years ago from Home

Good sharing, please keep it up.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks, sukhera143. I'm glad you liked it.


cosette 7 years ago

dude...this is like "Watchmen" put into words. i'm in awe...


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you, cosette. Funny you should mention that. I started drawing story boards for this story already (and no, I won't share them, LOL). I loved the Watchmen, by the way, and of course love "V for Vendetta." Alan Moore inspires me.


Porshadoxus profile image

Porshadoxus 7 years ago from the straight and narrow way

Very deep plot (shades of The Crow in there). Great themes. The pathos is heartbending. Excellent work.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you so much for that, Porshadoxus. I really enjoyed that movie too and was sad to find that it would be Brandon Lee's last movie (as that was his breakout movie on record). Thanks for the comment!


SEYMOUR ONE profile image

SEYMOUR ONE 7 years ago

Good incorporation of the origin story. Very interesting.


SEYMOUR ONE profile image

SEYMOUR ONE 7 years ago

Good incorporation of the origin story. Very interesting.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks, partner. I published Part 3 today, so have a gander and tell me what you think. You need to crank out a story or two yourself so I can pick your brain.


thanglynn07 profile image

thanglynn07 7 years ago from Long Beach, CA

That was so sad! What a tragedy! It's just...overwhelming. A day meant for celebration, welcoming a new life into the world...and then having to say goodbye to the woman u love. A day of laughter and a day of tears...It's unfair. Tragic. It's too sad. And struggling as a single father. Trying to please her, make her happy. And then losing her. Gosh I'm in tears reading this. The words that was most touching and heartfelt was: "I kiss her and Adrianna goodnight every night. The two of them live next to each other, side-by-side inside Haley’s heart and right above mine." Just...a tear jerker! The loyalness he has for his true love. I admire that. How he holds on...and bcuz of those tragedies it has shaped him into the man he is...numb. But will not stand by and do nothing. Those villians need to be punished!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

I'm so happy to heart that this had such a profound effect on you, thanglynn07. It means a lot to me that it made you feel that way, in that I succeeded in my intent of creating an emotional response from my reader! Thank you so much for reading this. You and many others is exactly why I will continue writing this series. Thank you as always.


Justine76 7 years ago

Awesome chapter 2. Im also quite happy you didnt go any further into detail about watchmen becuase its sitting on my DVD player, waiting to be watched this weekend. Dont stress out about "letting readers down" I have a feeling this story is going to keep pouring out of you!!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Nice selection, Justine. Did you read the book version! I couldn't put it down as I read it in one sitting on my day off. I'll just say that the "Watchmen" movie has one of the best openings of any movie I've ever seen. Thanks for the head's up on my letting readers down. You are exactly why I continue to share this story here at HP. Ready for Parts 3 and 4?


Justine76 7 years ago

YES!!! Im off to read now. Im bummed I didnt know about the book...I greatly prefer to read before the movie, to see how the movie fits what I imagined. If I see the movie first it can sometimes spoil the book a bit. oh well, I cant do anything about it now.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Oh yes, you HAVE to read the book. Time Magazine hails it as one of the 100 Best Books since 1925 or so...Mind you, it's a graphic novel! Alan Moore also wrote "V for Vendetta." I like both the book and movie, by the way. Both in my opinion were great! Hope you enjoy!


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

Oh, I am understanding more the revenge part now, could just separate reality from story but I was deeply moved... a fathers love to a his child is so compassionate. I thought before that a mothers love cant be equalled, but the depth of love of a father is becoming enlightening to me. I will read the other third part tomorrow. This is enough for me today, as I am brewing my coffee, I am still thinking about that child--Haley--am affected....

moving story...


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

That's great to hear, Pretty. Anytime any of my readers are affected by what I write gives a great deal of accomplishment. I thank you as always for your time (I'm gonna brew another pot, as I was up very early this morning) and readership. I look forward to your next comment! By the way, Part 5 should be ready by Friday at the latest :D


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

I will surely catch up so I can read the fifth part. Still, cant get away from the thought of Haley, you know Dohn, I love children...


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Yes, I believe that in order for any writer to write effectively, we have to care about what we are consequently writing about. In this case, I care a great deal about my main character...One day, I'll have children of my own too :)


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 7 years ago from India

Dohn - this is phenomenal - I'm holding my breath - waiting to read more...


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks, Shalini! That's awesome to hear! Hopefully, I won't let you down :D


G Miah profile image

G Miah 6 years ago from Muslim Nation

Once again Dohn, simply brilliant, and i'm not exagerating! Looking forward to read the next instalment.

This was very touching and smooth flowing, couldn't take my eyes of it.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you, G Miah. I really do appreciate your doing this and hope that you can carry on with your promise--pass the point of what you originally said you were going to do and read my hubs willingly!

That would certainly a huge accomplishment on my part ;)


Mystique1957 profile image

Mystique1957 6 years ago from Caracas-Venezuela

My man...It reads so smooth!

I like the story very much,

I love your style, brother!

I am really enjoying this!

Thumbs up!!!

Thanks for sharing!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you so much! I'm glad that you're enjoying it and hope that you continue reading it. Hope to hear from you soon!


rmcrayne profile image

rmcrayne 6 years ago from San Antonio Texas

A good mixture of predictable and unexpected.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks, Rose Mary. I appreciate your comment.


apricot profile image

apricot 6 years ago from Italy

Wow! Hayley really comes alive here - this is getting intriguing. I'm wondering if this boy she had to see has something to do with her disappearance..

This was so well written - the dialogue flows so well and the ending makes me want to read on. I need to take lessons from you!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

I'm so glad to see you reading this, apricot. Time will tell I guess. In either case, I think you're going to like what you read. I'll do my best to help you out, buddy! Until next time?


apricot profile image

apricot 6 years ago from Italy

Speak soon Dohn! I've been very slack lately I know but I've got a project on and it's fair driving me mad!! It's nice to relax reading your stuff though - can't wait for the time when I can sit down with your stories over a hot cocoa again!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Hi apricot! I sure do hope that you find time to read the rest of Revenge, Inc. I really think that you will like it. I really like how you take your time to do so over a cup of hot cocoa! All work and no play can make for tiresome day! Thank you, buddy. See you soon?


Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

Oh, so sad! So he is not always western samurai and gangster kind of type with harsh attitude and black mind? I need to dig more! But so far your opening and background introduction is flawless. love it! Hwaaaa! I wish I can write this good!


Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

by the way, it will become great graphic novel, don't you think so?


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Ha! Thanks again, Freya. I really am happy to hear your response as I knew that you'd get into this story. It really is tough to come up with a decent character for a hero these days. I'm hoping to get others to appreciate them just like I do. And yes, I do believe that this will be published. Thanks!


loveofnight profile image

loveofnight 6 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

Awesome......I'm still waiting for Peter to go to the bathroom, I hope he makes it home in time. I was quite touched by Haley and the loss of her mother.The hard core shell dose have a soft spot.I am begining to understand the method to his madness.....part 2 down and I'm preparing for more


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Ha! I'm sure Peter found relief soon afterwards! It's wonderful to hear that I've somehow affected you and perhaps sucked you into this story, loveofnight. Thank you so much for reading and commenting.


Truth From Truth profile image

Truth From Truth 6 years ago from Michigan

Checking out part two again like you suggested, Have a good Sunday.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks for doing that, Truth. I hope it helped. Enjoy your Sunday as well.


Chicagovision profile image

Chicagovision 6 years ago from Chicago

I like what your doing here.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks again! I appreciate that you're doing this as an undertaking.


valeriebelew profile image

valeriebelew 6 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

I read your first chapter a while back, and just now read number two. Got distracted, but this story does have power. I will try to read at least a chapter daily. Good read. I also write novals, and include them in my hubpages, along with all the money makers I have to do to try to earn a buck. Creative writing, though, is my real passion, not writing about things internet surfers are going to look up, and click on ads beside. Still, if I ever want to be able to write full time, and pursue my dreams, I need to find a way to earn money writing. Thanks for this story, a good one. Your story gave me the original idea of putting chapters of my own on here, so thanks for that, too.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Hi, valeriebelew. Thank you very much for the comment. I just got done publishing Part 26 to yes, this series is still ongoing! It's been nearly a month since I last added a new installment due to the fact that I've been up to my eyebrows with outside work (i.e. real-life changes). Just to hear that you're going to take on the task of reading this series is so reassuring. I hope that you do and that you give feedback on what you read. It would be a pleasure to hear.

Yes, Creative Writing on HubPages won't make you money (unless of course if you're lucky). I find this place as an outlet and so split my hub writing 50/50. One hub will make me money while another one I'll do simply out of pleasure. Either way, writing hubs is beneficial for me!

Thank you again, Valerie. It's always good to hear from you.

Dohn


slowpokevoyager profile image

slowpokevoyager 6 years ago from Braggs, Oklahoma

From what I've read, the premise for the series is very good. Punisher type material. Or more likely punisher-esque. But, I just hope your publisher has an editor. Too many type-o's. You need to copy edit. A lot! The only advise I can give you right now: copy edit your work before turning it over to a publisher. It will be more professional looking without the mistakes in spelling and grammar. And yes, I know, you have to write for the characterizations, but simple spelling errors, or punctuation mistakes, are not a good beginning.

Loved what I've read. Good luck to you. And don't worry, little mistakes are made in many hubs I read. Thanks.


stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Fantastic Work. God Bless You.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 5 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank slowpokevoyager. Yeah, there are several errors all around and this is the first draft. At the time of writing this, I did my best to grind each and every serial as soon as possible and so spelling errors, etc. were compromised! I really do appreciate your comment and advice and I wholeheartedly agree that if I am to pursue a career in this field or submit this to an agent or publisher that a few details must be put into consideration. Thank you!


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dohn121 5 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you, stars439. You always manage to find the time to read me :D

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