Revenge, Inc. Part 7: A Short Story

Author's Note:

Welcome back everyone. I hope that you've enjoyed this series so far as I'm working very hard to post these serials every Friday evening. By all means, it isn't easy for me to do and for you to continue to support me and read me means a lot. This story is certainly taking on its own life and so I want to see to it that it does get completed, first and foremost. Writing this has made me a much more discipline writer. I hope you enjoy this installment and look forward to hearing your feedback. Thank you as always for reading me.

-ODP

Of course, if you have yet to read the series entirely I recommend that you do, beginning with Part 1. Please click on the corresponding link below to get started. Please enjoy.

Revenge, Inc. Part 1

Revenge, Inc. Part 2

Revenge, Inc. Part 3

Revenge, Inc. Part 4

Revenge, Inc. Part 5

Revenge, Inc. Part 6

I followed this Master Akira with my duffel bag and found that there was no car as a means of transport to wherever we were going. All I could see was an old three-speed Raleigh bicycle like the one my father used to ride when I was a kid. I watched as the jet rev up and barely make a u-turn on the gleaming white tarmac, and take off in big damn hurry, leaving me with this oriental stranger. The thought then occurred to me that there was no escape. I had no idea what the coordinates to the island were, only that we were somewhere in the middle of the Pacific. I didn’t ever recall hearing or reading about this small, tropical island. Up until that moment, I had no idea that Jirai Island existed. I took out my cell phone to check my GPS application and saw that of course I had no signal. I looked up to see that the old man was smiling at me.

“That’s not going to work here, Cody-san,” he said. “No signal.” No shit, I thought. “Throw it away…Useless.” I looked at him and placed the cell phone in the side-pocket of my cargo pants. I wasn’t ready to just give up my cell phone—not yet anyway. The old man then hopped on the Raleigh and began pedaling and moving pretty damn fast. I looked around to see if maybe there was a bike for me, but of course there wasn’t.

“Hey!” I called out to him. “Where are you going?”

“Cody-san! Try and keep up, okay? Long way back…” And just like that, this old man who was about ninety-five pounds soaking wet was already fifty yards or so ahead of me. I struggled to keep up with him. I was running as fast and as hard as my legs could carry me or as much as my fat-ass would allow. “Hey! Keep up, okay? Keep up!” That’s all this little old man said to me whenever I fell behind and out of breath. Each time I stopped, I cursed Peter. He was the one responsible. He brought me here and brought me into the service of this old coot who was deceptively in perfect health. Fucking Peter, I said under my breath while running. I swear to God…I’m gonna kick his ass the next time I see him.

When finally caught up with the old oriental guy after about three miles of running, a clearing opened up revealing an old rickety bamboo house on stilts that reminded me of the houses I saw in rural Laos during my visit, especially up north in Xiang Khouang. Next to it was a pen of three or four wild boar and all around me was a natural fortress of dark green palms swaying in the sun. As I searched around, there was nothing at all that reminded me of Valhalla. The Raleigh bike leaned up against the railing of the stairway to the house and when looking up the steps to the house, which I doubted, I could climb. I was spent from all that running. Suddenly, I felt a pain in the back of my neck and next thing there was dirt in my mouth as I was coming back into consciousness underneath that hot sun. It seemed like an instant. The old oriental guy was looking down at me and I had to squint to see him against the glare of the hot sun.

“What happened, Cody-san?” It was that Miyagi-speak again.

“I…I don’t know. Some jerk-off hit me from behind! Was it you?” The fuck smiled.

“Yes, I am ‘jerk-off’ that hit you. You want to hit me back?” Just as I tried to get up, my head spun again and I felt like I was going to blow chunks and so laid back down again.

“Why did you hit me?”

“Why did you let me hit you, hmm? Ask self this question.” Okay, I was getting pissed. My first thought was to get my katana out of my duffel bag and chop his ass up. “Always must prepare, Cody-san...Never know when next strike come.” He then turned his back on me which then prompted me to rise up. For just a split second, I took my eyes away from him while trying to get my footing. That was a big fucking mistake. Next thing, a goddamn bolt of lightning hit me. It was that fast.

When I came to again, the sun was lower on the horizon but was still just as hot and bright as before I got knocked the fuck out the first time. I immediately shielded my face just as soon as I regained consciousness—call it a delayed reaction. How long was I out and how the hell was this little oriental so fucking fast? It boggled my mind as there was no logic in it. I touched my face and my chin which was now searing with pain. What I thought was a pebble inside my mouth turned out to be one of my molars. I spat it out on the ground along with a mouthful of blood and saliva. Just then, the thought occurred to me: I just let a senior citizen with flip-flops kick my ass…Who the hell was this guy?

“Cody-san!” At the sound of his voice, I flinched. “Go to stream! Fetch water!” A long bamboo stick with two buckets tied to each end then fell by my feet. “Follow path! Hurry up!” So what was I supposed to do? I did what I was told. At the time, I really didn’t believe that I had much of choice.

This would all be redundant the next six weeks. I’d hear the same shit everyday, including: “Pick rice!” “Bring wood!” “Fix fence!” The guy was driving me batty. That’s all I did…Six weeks of absolute hell in what looked like a honeymooner’s paradise somehow turned into the Killing Fields. Somehow or other, I became a slave of this guy like a second-hand car right after that jet took off and left me stranded with this nut. I thought I was going to crack. I cursed Peter’s name over and over again. I cursed his name when I woke up at the ass-crack of dawn and in the evening before I went to bed on my bamboo mat, sore as whore on a Saturday night. I cursed his name often and thought about what I’d do or say to him the next time I saw him.

One day while at the end of six weeks, the first thought of escape came to mind. How I was going to go about it was another thing completely. But that was when I saw Master Akira practicing with my katana, which was very much like a dance, when coming back from the stream bed with our evening’s supply of water. He didn’t look at me continued on as I stood watching him. His movements were flawless and effortless.

“What are you doing here, Cody-san?” He said without looking at me. He parried backwards and counterattacked with a backhand slash at his invisible enemy.

“I’m watching you, Master Akira…What else?”

“No think you understand…What are you doing here, Cody-san?” I paused for a moment and reflected on the weeks leading up to that very moment. The constant fetching of water, the picking of rice, the meditation in the evening hours of the night while the cool breezes of the island coursed through Master Akira’s stilted house like the song of Sirens lolling me to sleep.

“To serve you, Master Akira.” He smiled at me.

“No, Cody-san. I expect much better answer than that.” I was confused. I didn’t know what to say so said nothing in response. “You have choice, Cody-san…Always a choice…To listen, or no listen, to fetch water, or no fetch water…Orders are for animals who only obey because of fear from their masters…He then stopped and brought the katana to rest and sheathed it, while looking at me. “…To avenge or no avenge.” My rage resurfaced. I thought of Haley and of that day I tried in vain to bring her home, when suddenly, I was taken by surprised and brought down. There was nothing I could do. “Peter told me everything Cody-san…Very sad…Broke my heart to hear.” And now it wasn’t rage anymore that crept up my throat. It was hard to suppress. When I looked up, Master Akira was a glassy figure. From the light of the fire that burned atop the open clearing, to me he was disappearing and reappearing over and over again. He placed his hand on my shoulder and looked at me.

“Will you honor her, Cody-san? Will you fight for her until you breathe your last breath?” I nodded my head.

“For everything that I am, I will.” He bowed his head and tightened his jaw. I could see the roaring fire in his eyes.

“Then I will help you.”

Continue reading...

© Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

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Comments 82 comments

Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 6 years ago from India

I'm glad I'm the first :)

This is going really well, Dohn - and each time, it plays like a wonderful movie in my mind. You need to get that screenplay going side by side!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Woah! And thank you for being the first, Shalini! Everyone's asleep in my time zone (at least that's what it seems). I'm glad that you liked it, so keep your fingers crossed for me :D


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 6 years ago from India

I will, I will Dohn - you fully deserve it!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you, Shalini. I'll do my best to not disappoint you :)


myownworld profile image

myownworld 6 years ago from uk

novel darling...novel!! this is one in the making...! (I deliberately didn't read the previous one till you'd posted the next, as I really enjoy the momentum it builds)... brilliant! keep at it x


keira7 profile image

keira7 6 years ago

Hi my dear friend, I was really looking for Part.7 and I do agree with Shalini, that it is going really well. Thanks bro,. But even you are enjoying writing as much as us enjoying the reading, I understand that, it must be very hard keeping it going, plus having a life. One of the positive side must be this beautiful feeling that you have each time you finish writing a part. I do have this feeling when i complet a hub,:). Anyway I will continue to support you, and reading your wonderful work. Have a lovely weekend my dear brother. God Bless.


dave272727 profile image

dave272727 6 years ago from Kentucky

Amazing stuff!! You have had me from the get go with part one, and I look forward each week to the next installment!


Useful Knowledge 6 years ago

I like where you are going with this. It is very visual. I can picture the training happening as you are fetching the water. I am so proud of you for sticking with this, Dohn. I think you will be glad you did when you finish this. I kow it is hard work, but this is your best work (Revenge). I look forward to next Friday.

Donna


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

hi Dohn, when I woke up this morning, had a headache and then I immediately open my PC, just to check on what happened to Cody! I am hooked and I am happy you continue to shine! I can imagine Cody swinging the katana, LOL

Thanks Dohn, you are really one good writer,,heres a brewed coffee for you! Maita


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

@myownworld-Ha! Thank you, myownworld for that...Maybe I'm bit crazy for thinking this, but I believe there are some people here at HubPages that are patiently waiting for the series to end in order that they don't have to wait week after week for a new installment, so you're not alone:D

@kiera7-Yes, you're right about that--It feels great to publish a new installment every week. I feel as if I'm depositing money in the bank! I'm so glad that you enjoy this so far and look forward to it every week. Were I not the writer of this series, I'd be a fan too :D

@dave272727-Thanks Dave! I'm happy to hear so much positive feedback from all of you guys. Every week, I get a bit fearful as to whether or not you guys are going to like what you read (so far so good?) Thanks, man.

@Useful Knowledge-I did find some difficulty with this scene...I might...No, check that--I will tweak this a bit and refine it. Overall, I'm just glad you guys like it. Stephen King says in his book, "On Writing" that no one ever "gets it right the first time." That's why we edit:D Thanks so much, buddy. You are my rock in all of this! Yes, of course Part 8 is due on Friday :)

@prettydarkhorse-Hey, Maita! Thanks for the brew! You make a helluva cup of coffee, I'm sure! That's really cool that you're anxious to see what unfolds. It means a lot to me to hear that, really. Stay tuned :D


NotMyself profile image

NotMyself 6 years ago from Current.

w000hooo! Now that's what I'm talking about...oh wait...


Am I dead, yet? 6 years ago

Ok--woooohooooo! Dohn--when I tell you this should be a novel--I insist that you do it! I am enjoying this character even more! This is a strong character, Dohn--there are continual possibilities for this story and so many more ways the plot can turn out!

-sigh- I love this series! I took a break from Dragon Age just to read this--so very well worth it Dohn, Thank you.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

@NotMyself-Ha! Good stuff! And...

@AIDY-Yes, I see this story unfold like a movie...No wonder it reads like one! I actually already know how all this is going to end--I know where the cheese in the maze is, but how to get there??? It means a lot to hear you say that, AIDY. If you were the only person in this entire world that was following this story, I'd probably still be writing it JUST FOR YOU. More to come ;)


Am I dead, yet? 6 years ago

-superhugs- Dohn-- that is just so sweet of you! It is a story for the masses--as it is a great story! Soon a novel--almost immediately after, a movie!

I cannot wait for the next chapter--slow torture it is to wait, but ever the sweeter the torture it is!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks, AIDY. Good things come to those who wait :D


juneaukid profile image

juneaukid 6 years ago from Denver, Colorado

Lots of action and excitement. You got a good story rolling along.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you, juneaukid. Organizing the story is the hard part...There's much more that I still have to establish. It's always great to hear from you.


Leop profile image

Leop 6 years ago

Dohn, let me first say I am glad you are my fan and I get to receive this wonderful updates on your writing as soon as you post them. You are a great writer I am hooked on this series and I look forward reading each one of them. By the way I hope you have a book or a mini series of short stories. This is excellent writing you do here.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks so Leop. Right now, I'm doing all that I can to get myself published. One of the things that I've been meaning to do is submit a few of my stories into contests. If everything goes well, I should be interacting with a literary agent as early as January. I have my first completed novel that I'm currently editing, a novella that is half-done...Aside from that, all of my writing is posted right here on HubPages. I'd like to of course compile all my short stories into a compilation one day. Until then, please enjoy. I appreciate your comment. It's wonderful to hear from so many people that enjoy reading what I write. Thank you so much.


emievil profile image

emievil 6 years ago from Philippines

Darn, I wanted to be the first (no offense Shalini) :). This is a great chapter dohn. I can just feel the heat and Cody's pain when the master hit him. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Oh by the way, just wanted to ask. Did you have any training in karate / kung fu / martial arts? Just curious :).


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA

I commend you for writing a serial every Friday night. Very engaging story so far!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

@emievil-Yes, I like the scene too. One of life's truths is that there's always someone else that can kick your butt/better than you no matter how good you are at anything. I wanted Cody to earn the respect of Master Akira in a very short period of time. I hope I did that :) Um, I do know Judo and I did take Kung-Fu for about two weeks and then quit (way too much dancing around, lol) Oh, and I did wrestle in high school as well. That's about the extent of my training. Thanks for asking! It's great to hear that you enjoyed reading this.

@SweetiePie-I thought about quitting--twice--but then slapped myself silly to honor my word that I would post a new serial every week...So far so good? I'd hate to let anyone down, so I'll continues. It's so good to hear from you, SweetiePie. Thanks!


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 6 years ago from Upstate New York

I don't know what messaage the master was teaching you. Revenge, or no revenge, your choice. And it sounded like both you and the master opted for revenge. I didn't think that's where the story was going for a minute or two, but now we're still very angry and bent on revenge and seemed to have enlisted the master.

Is that where a Buddhist would really go?


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

I'm sorry that you feel that way, Paradise7. As the title of this work suggests, this story IS about Revenge and my intention in writing this story is to get my main character to awaken the dormant rage inside himself.

From what I know of you, you are not a fanatic of violence and that is understandable. I'm not going the route of the teachings of Buddhism on this one, Paradise7 and I made no mention that any of my characters are influenced by such teachings (that's for another story).

Please understand that this is a work of fiction that isn't nearly complete as of yet. There is still that needs to be established before the story reaches its end...I cannot disclose what will happen next ;)

From the sound of it, maybe this story isn't for you :(


dusanotes profile image

dusanotes 6 years ago from Windermere, FL

Impressive stuff, Dohn. I'm impressed with two things, your novel's story and your audience. You are very good at pacing the story, very good at letting the protagonist suffer. When that happens we all suffer and wonder how it will come out in the end. This is good for page-turning novels. Love your plot and characterizations that come out in the action and dialog. Don White


Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

Tatjana-Mihaela 6 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

“You have choice, Cody-san…Always a choice…To listen, or no listen, to fetch water, or no fetch water…Orders are for animals who only obey because of fear from their masters..." of course this is my favorite part...

Thumbs up, Dohn!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank, Don. It really is wonderful to hear such great feedback from everyone. It would be tough to tell a story without an audience, so in essence, it's very easy for me to tell a story to such a wide and captive audience. I really appreciate your comment. I'm doing my best to share this with all of you. It means a lot to hear so many positive responses. Thank you.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

You know, Tatjana, I really do believe that after creating my characters, they simply take a life on their own. Out of my stream of consciousness when writing this story, I heard Master Akira say this line...It just sounded right and so I wrote it down. I hope that doesn't sound weird...!

I'm so happy that you like this story, Tatjana-Mihaela. I thank you for all of your support.


Justine76 6 years ago

ass crack of dawn!! lol :) I love this story, and I hope you get as much enjoyment out of writing as we do reading. Your going to be famous.


Justine76 6 years ago

Hi. my comment posted twice, so I am changing this one to say I hope you have a good holiday coming up. :)


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you, DM! Two comments are better than one :D It's good to see so many positive reviews of this installment. This wasn't easy for me to write and I don't see it getting any easier here and out. Thanks for the fabulous comment :) I really hope so.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 6 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Did not comment in the previous 6, headed straight to here. Anyway, I'm getting ready for some bigtime action in the next installments! And like they've said, this is playing out like a movie - pass the popcorn please, and make that Coke Light :D


poetlorraine 6 years ago

hey great stuff, you are soooooo talented, what a hubber you have turned out to be....... looking for a leading lady perhaps??????


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

@Cris A-Thanks for following this story! Yes, there's gonna be some head-cracking pretty soon :) I'm glad that your enjoying it...I wonder if you have any ideas for a book cover?! Let me know, my man and yes, a Hollywood treatment for this story would be a dream come true!

@poetlorraine-:D Thank you, Brenda! That's so nice of you to say...Unfortunately, I found my love and she is Rayna. That reminds me-as soon as she contacts me about her poem,you will be the first to know as I have not forgotten (how can I?) Thank you for cheering me up = :D


Cris A profile image

Cris A 6 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Well, taking off from the image above - perhaps something edgier, darker and sexier, or perhaps sleeker is the better term. Let's see... :D


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

I can't wait to see it, Cris! I'm sure it'll be amazing :)


poetlorraine 6 years ago

i only meant a leading lady for the film....... cris already has his popcorn ready.......


Cris A profile image

Cris A 6 years ago from Manila, Philippines

@dohn

but you don't have to like, okay? i'll try and make several different copies.

@brenda

and some chips too! :D


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

@poetlorraine-Oh...I see...In that case, I'll have to go with an "Unknown." Breakthrough actors are always much more refreshing, don't you agree? However, if I had to go with an actress to play the part of Haley, I'll have to go with Dakota Fanning. I think she's perfect for the role.

@Cris A-I don't care if you drew me up a stick-figure copy, bro. I'm sure it's going to be Aces! I'm just glad that you're willing to try-that's alone is awesome...Yes, chips too! Kettle cooked potato chips are great. Taro chips are better :D


Duchess OBlunt 6 years ago

still liking it!

Waiting for chapter 8


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks, Duchess! See you Friday :D


cosette 6 years ago

you manage to surpass yourself with each new hub. your gift of threading drama with little glimmers of humor is amazing. I'm totally in love with this work. bravo!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you, cosette. It's always pleasant to hear from you. I'm not sure if I'll make Revenge, Inc. into a novel per se, but a novella for now, is certainly in the works! Thank you.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 6 years ago from Manila, Philippines

hey dohn

I created 8 images so shoot me an email through HP so I'd know where to send them.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Wow!!! I'm on it, Cris! Thanks so much!


Cris A profile image

Cris A 6 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Is it okay if i zip the .jpgs using WinRAR?


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Hmmm...I don't see why not. Try it and I'll see if it's okay on my end.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 6 years ago from Manila, Philippines

No, I meant if you can open it. Anyway, I've just clicked on the send button. Should be there in a blink :D


Enelle Lamb profile image

Enelle Lamb 6 years ago from Canada's 'California'

I always save your weekly installments for last! Thoroughly enjoying the story, and am looking forward to the next one! I think you really have a winner here :D


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

@Cris A-Ha! Sorry about that, Cris. All's well now: The work you did was extraordinary! I'm honored that you took the time to complete such a task. It really means a lot to me that you did. Thanks a bunch!!!

@Enelle Lamb-I knew that you were still following this story, Enelle! Thanks so much for the weekly readership. Were it not for such a strong following, I don't think I'd get this done via HubPages! Thanks so much :D Who knows, maybe this story will help to break me into the publishing realm!


Cris A profile image

Cris A 6 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Not so fast, bud. I want a house on the hill with valet parking! LOL If you have more um 'projects' just let me know and I'm on it. Invites for a wedding perhaps? :D


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Hahaha!!! You deserve it, bro and you know it. I'd give you one if I could (right after I get mine, LOL) And yes, if "Rayna" and I do get married, I want you to be there, in the flesh, yessir! You're the best, my man.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 6 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Alright so much for our dreams - I mean about the house and not Rayna! Say, can I grab her pic from your hub and make a wallpaper? For you of course. I just feel so creative even after I finished some for my new hub! And no Red Bull was needed mind you! LOL


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

What?! Absolutely, LOL. Go right ahead :D Geez...That reminds me, I got a couple of more pics of her that I want to post...No, the racy ones are for my eyes only, LOL. I can't wait to see what you do with it, bro.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 6 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Great! Will email it to you as soon as I'm done. Thanks :D


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Cool! I look forward to it.


ralwus 6 years ago

I thought any minute Cody-san will be waxing on, waxing off a surfboard. LOL The little man is a tough cookie. Thanks Dohn. good story.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Looks can certainly be deceiving! No, no surfing for this Gai-jin! There's still a lot of butt to be kicked :D Thanks, Charles.


ralwus 6 years ago

Have a great holiday tomorrow Dohn. Just messin with ya. Good story my friend. Great writing as always.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks, Charles! I hope you enjoy your Turkey Day as well. My best to your friends and family!


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK

Loved this Episode. That was one big molar he lost. lol.

I wish Fiery was around, he would have really enjoyed this. Particularly the language, it made me laugh. Might drop him an email to let him know what stories he is missing, written by his HP friend.

Cheers.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks so much, Lady_E. Yes, I do miss my Fiery Friend and I take it he's busy (he better be, lol). BOOM! That guy kills me the way he disappears and reappears ;)

Please do. I would like to see what he thinks of this story and series.


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

Dohn, I started reading this series late in the game but it is really good, so now I'm reading quickly to see what will happen next. Great story.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Just seeing you here is great, Pam. It's always good to pick up new readers of this series. Thank you.


RedElf profile image

RedElf 6 years ago from Canada

This is an excellent story, dohn! I haven't commented on every one, but I have certainly enjoyed each segment so far. I really like your style, and the flow of the writing. You are quite a story teller.

By the way, I don't think Part 7 is linked to the others - I had to go back to your profile to get to it ;)


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thank you for the wonderful compliments, RedElf. I'm amazed at myself thus far for keeping up with this story on a weekly basis. I just hope that I can meet expectations ;)

I'm going to fix that problem now. Thanks for the head's up!


fierycj profile image

fierycj 6 years ago from The Fiery Heart of Africa

A Film by Fiery C.J., Written by Dohn121....we'll make it happen...we think alike, man! This is da ish!

Btwn: Lady_E mailed on about this, I LOVE IT!!!

N/B: Sorry I've not been reading your hubs...things have been crazy...but you'll get the details soon.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

There he is...My fiery friend. Ha! Yeah, I can see this as a movie--in fact, I imagined it as a movie when writing it. It's great hearing from you, bro. I've been wondering what you've been up to (and dammit, it better be important!) Yes, Lady_E is certainly one of our mutual friends. She made mention of emailing you about this series (which used to be a stand-alone short story).

I'll be waiting to hear my man. Until next time? Cheers.


Truth From Truth profile image

Truth From Truth 6 years ago from Michigan

Great work done, captivating and better then the last couple novels I have read.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Wow, TFT. Thanks for that. I'm happy to see that you're now a "Fan" :D


Mrvoodoo profile image

Mrvoodoo 6 years ago from ?

I sense some serious ass whoopins for some very deserving scum bags in the very near future. ;)

I got waylaid last night, but back on track now, and loving it, great job dude.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Absolutely! More to come. I'm glad to see that you're back, bro. I hope I don't disappoint!


rmcrayne profile image

rmcrayne 6 years ago from San Antonio Texas

The story is like a screen play for me, because I'm starting to see the story like a movie.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

That's exactly how I envisioned it when writing this, Rose Mary. I'm pleased that you think so.


Mystique1957 profile image

Mystique1957 6 years ago from Caracas-Venezuela

My brother, Dohn! Pret-ty darn Good!! I get so caught up in the story that I actually see the characters, the location, I can even feel Master Akira´s feelings as well as Cody´s. Furthermore, the sub-text within the story is astonishing: Life lessons, to know your weaknesses and your strengths, I would summarize this chapter in a sentence: Know thyself!

Excellent read!

Thumbs up,

warmest regards and blessings,

Al


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Great to hear, Al! I really did want to give this story an organic feel to it, rather than it have a "forced" feel to it. I admit, there is some editing that I still have to do, but overall, I'm am happy with the work as a whole. Yes, the subtext is a whole other story in itself. I'm so glad that you picked up on that, my friend.

Thanks as always!

Dohn


Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

And then I, will read more...

Maybe I should practice to become Katana master so I can have slave every six weeks? hehehe...

Interesting indeed, Dohn!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

When you find a remote Island in the South Pacific, give me a call :D Thanks, Freya, for continuing to follow this story.


loveofnight profile image

loveofnight 6 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

it is 3:33a.m. and once again you have captured me. i have to pull myself away so that i can get up in the morning.......as always awesome


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

That's awesome to hear you say that, loveofnight! You and I must be in the same time zone (EST) as it's about the same time here, if I did the math correctly :) Thanks again, my friend. I hope to see you in Part 8 very soon!


valeriebelew profile image

valeriebelew 6 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

That Asian guy was beginning to get on my nerves. I'm glad he finally expressed his reason for being there, and stomping your butt so many times, but I actually supected his job was to make you tough. Right on.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York Author

Thanks again for reading and commenting, Valerie. Yes, there is definitely a method to Master Akira's madness. I hope you grow to like him in the oncoming installments. I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

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