Kill Me Soft and Sweet

I just want to close my eyes tonight
And wake to everything being alright
My world is crumbling beneath my feet
How can I grasp the pieces of earth
As they slip through my fingers?
No words can be said to make it okay
Nothing I do can help fix this mess
I'm just so stuck and so helpless here
It's all coming back to me now
Each and every one of my fears
Every truth I see now are lies
I've always known deep down inside
But the voice within I've silenced
Not willing to give into my own demise
Thoughts twisting and turning inside my mind
Not knowing what to believe anymore
Their words consume me and make me see
The darkest side of what I didn't want to

I love you more than words could ever express

But I’ve closed my eyes upon my own distress

This love is killing me inside

Surely but slowly I can feel it

Suffocating me within my shell

Not knowing the direction out of this hell

Their words, they echo once more

I know they would never do anything to harm me

Family doesn’t do that to one another

You are nothing more than just flesh and bone to me

Not part of the blood that runs through my body

Your words, I hear them now

Not for the falsehood of what they once were

But with ears ripped open and eyes unlocked

I know what you’ve done to me now

You have done this to me, making me hollow and bare

Adding onto my deepest despair and self loathing

The anger you spread is too much for me

It’s eating away at me now more than ever before

Truth and lies all mixed into one

I can’t tell what is truth and fiction

How can I make it all just stop and go back again

To the world where things weren’t so complex?

Come please, my sanity, once more

Bring me back to reality for a second time

I so desperately need to get away from the words they all speak

You and them, they and you

Every word spoken to me good or bad

Give me the time to sift through it all

Provide me with the opportunity to see what is real

Aid me in the process of giving up something that is so unhealthy

Lies I do not deserve and secrets I desire

Show me that I’m wrong in my thinking

Express to me through action that what they say is wrong

If they are right in their assumptions please kill me sweetly

Don’t make my downfall harder than it has to be

I’ve given everything and fought for what seems like nothing

Was it all in vain that I have done for you?

If it is then you need to tell me now

Don’t try to use your mask anymore

Just show me the man behind the imposter

Help me see the one you really are

I can’t be made the fool anymore

Just kill me softly my love

Please kill me soft and sweet

© Bethany Vine

September 2008


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