terror heart
the terror felt in my being
when your love sweeps over me
is magnified
in your void.
the dread in my soul
when i know you will not be here
tonight
consumes my every moment
with panic.
i breathe you
and your life force fuels me
keeps me from rocking
rocking
ticking and tocking
back and forth
on the floor.
i streatch out
as if dying
gasping for you
reaching into everything
and pulling out nothing
but emptiness.
i feel you surround me
while simultaneously
feeling nothing
i pine
and am a slave
to your lips
to your words
burning and yearning
for you.
just once more
to take you in
oasis.
i feel ridiculous...childish...
for wanting your touch
as badly as i do now.
i feel as though my desires
are unattractive
and that i should hide them
but the fear that i feel
the loss
the pain
the abandonment
keeps me from remembering
what its like to care
writhing and reeling
nightmares and dreams
breathing without breathing
every feeling i ever feared id ever have
without you.
