things to know while dating a tattoo artist

Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Tattoo by Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Tattoo by Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Tattoo by Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Tattoo by Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Tattoo by Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Tattoo by Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Tattoo by Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Tattoo by Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Tattoo by Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Tattoo by Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Tattoo by Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Tattoo by Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Tattoo by Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio
Tattoo by Jesse Baker of Middletown, Ohio

 When dating a tattoo artist things are NEVER simple.  There are always factors that will be eating away at your relationship.  In fact, this will be one of the hardest relationships to sustain, especially for a couple who is known to be jealous.

The first thing you must realize is that rarely, if ever, will you be the absolute first on his/her mind.  Tattoos WILL come first.  For a tattoo artist, it is not simply a job or carreer.  It is more than just a life choice or lifestyle.  This is a passion.  It is in their blood, and just like most artists in this world they may come off a little selfish.

What you must realize is that this is not selfishness.  This is just simply how they are built.  Everywhere they look all they see is something they can put on someone's skin.

The second thing you need to know is LEARN HOW TO SHARE.

Your tattoo artist boyfriend/girlfriend will constantly be surrounded by attractive members of the opposite sex.  Not only surrounded by them, but they will be touching them and close to very private areas on the body almost all of the time.  So ladies, get used to your man having his hands on a hot girls booty or chest, and men get ready for your woman to be tattooing some washboard abs. If you can not handle this, then simply stay away, all you will do is create a problem for yourself.

Third, you should always be willing to sacrifice for your partner.  Tattooing is a bussiness that goes up and down on a regular basis.  Yes, Kat Von D makes a ton of money and Paul Booth is world renowned but this has taken them years. To start in this career you must be willing to put materialistic possessions aside for a while since there may be less and less money to just spend around.

Finally, get ready to have some long nights alone.  A tattoo shop can stay open all night if needed and a lot do.  If he/she is in the middle of a tattoo and ten o'clock rolls around they are not goin to stop to get home and cuddle up with you.  They will stay until the job is done.

I have been with a tattooist for the past two and a half years and in our short relationshio we have fought like cats and dogs over everything you can imagine, though in the end we are always better for it.  This kind of relationship is not for the weak hearted.  It has taken more work than any relationship before it.  There are nights when he doesn't get home until three in the morning and then there are times he wont have one tattoo come in the whole day.

The ups and downs of this lifestyle are one of the many reasons why it has been so hard to stick by him day after day, but those ups and downs have also made our life together one of the best roller-coasters I have ever been on...and I don't plan on getting off any time soon!!

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Comments 48 comments

Kristie C 6 years ago

This made me feel not so alone lol :)


tattoodesigns69 profile image

tattoodesigns69 6 years ago from Illinois

Excellent Hub on "tattoos"! I certainly liked the advice. Continue to keep it coming!


Lurch's Girl 5 years ago

I have been with my man for 6 in a half years.He is a tattoo artist.We recently have had some problems.My man took a nude pic of one if his customers in exchange for a touch up on a tattoo the chick got from someone else.He never told me until I found the photo.He said it was only for art purposes.I said I wanted to talk to the chick to get her side of the story and he said no because he didn't want me to start fighting with her and it would get back to his boss.Should I believe nothing happened between them?


Kay 5 years ago

Cool, I'm working on a story and one of my main characters is dating a tattoo artist so I need as much insight as I can possibly can online. This article was pretty amazing, thanks!


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ms jessica marie 5 years ago from middletown ohio Author

thanks to u all, i will get another hub on this subject again soon. lurchs girl, i am not an advice writer, and each situation is very different. i would not and could not feel write giving u advice on such a personal matter.


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thehemu 5 years ago from New Delhi, India

cool hub. But it is very painful to get tattoo removed. You need to do this when your gf misunderstand.


Liz 5 years ago

You have no idea how much this ment to me to read this I have been with my guy for two years and its really not easy being with someone in this field of work. I'm just really glad I'm not the only one out there. I felt like I was reading about my own relationship. I think the jealousy is very hard in the beginng but the loneliness is what kills me everytime. Thank you for writing this.


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ms jessica marie 5 years ago from middletown ohio Author

Liz

thank u so much for ur comment. i think its one of my favorites i have ever received. i hope things are going better for you and your man. blessed be.


Kelly 4 years ago

This article meant so much to me. I just recently started dating and artist and it is without a doubt the most difficult relationship I have been in. But I'm learning to deal, because being with him is better than being without. He has even read this article and agrees with it completely so I thank you. It may be hard but I know it's well worth it. So again, thank you so much. This has helped me understand just what I've gotten myself into, and I wouldn't change it for anything.


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ms jessica marie 4 years ago from middletown ohio Author

Kelly,

thank you for your comment, and tell your man i said thank you as well ;) i hope all is well for you two! Blessed Be.


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tat2kim 4 years ago from NJ

WOW I don't feel so crazy now. Ive been with my tattoo artist bf for 3 years. I only became jealous when he lied about tattooing a womans nipples and i later found out. I understand the business and truly am supportive. I know it was strickly business, but it still eats at me. When i friend requested the woman on FB, she must have told him and both my bf and her blocked me. Ive been blocked from his fb page for 6 months. Now all i do is worry about who is tattooing and who he is friends with. I know he is not doing anything wrong. Its my imagination that gets the best of me


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ms jessica marie 4 years ago from middletown ohio Author

tat2kim i appreciate your comment and thank you for reading. jesse and i will have been together five years in april. trust is a major part, and the only way to get trust is to earn it by always being honest. jesse and i share a mutual facebook for this reason, not because there has been issue with facebook (but there was with myspace years ago) we just learned its better without the drama if we share one. if he isn't trying to hide something from you he would have no reason to keep you blocked six months later. by this point he should be over it, especially since its his own fault for lying to you in the first place. typically i don't like to voice my opinion on others relationships, however this struck a cord with me. maybe friend requesting her was a bit much, i do understand that because that's a client and just cause he tatted her nips doesn't mean she wants him. its him lying about it that's the issue. but remember, he could have lied because he felt that ur jealousy of his necessity of putting his hands on women would get the best of u. he didn't realize that him lying about it only makes it ten times worse. i hope he is more honest with you now, and i hope that the two of you in the future can share everything in each others lives, including stupid facebook friendships ;) thanks for reading


A's Girl 4 years ago

Wow I have a lot to learn I thought I was the only one going through it jessica I have a question if a girl send a text to his phone saying they had sex I comfront him and he tell me they trying to break us up what am I suppose to believe


A's Girl 4 years ago

Is there a support group for us


A's Girl 4 years ago

He told me the same thing when I ask him I didn't go through his phone it was by our bed and the message came across the screen he said they she doing that to break us up cause she wants him and he told her he have an old lady me. I feel much better hearing it from somebody who went through it. Thanks Jessica


kim 4 years ago

thanks guys for your feedback, things haven't gotten any better, he is doing a free sleeve on a young girl who is not paying for her work. she is to promote him and get him business. Isn't that what i am for? I am the live in gf of 3 yrs? I have tried to talk to him, it always ends in a fight. I have tried to drop hints that Im upset about it, and he gets mad. Basically, today, we got into it again. I got an ultimatium, Either I stop barking at him over the way he promotes and stop questioning him and trust him, OR I walk away from the relationship. I truly know that he is not cheating, nor doing me dirty. He is mr tough love and dosent see how much this is hurting me. I want to be supportive and he says that he is with me everyday, he dosent party or go out with out me, but this is for his business. I know how girls are. They are skanks. I thought I was special bc i got free tattoos from him. now hes doing them on only cute girls. I m so frustrated!!!


A's Girl 4 years ago

Hey kim I feel what u r saying I hear the same thing but why would they argue with us if we just telling them how we feel makes u wonder don't it


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ms jessica marie 4 years ago from middletown ohio Author

ive gone thru the "free tattoo" thing as well, and jesse does not give free ink away, unless its a close friends birthday or something like that. i am the only girl he gives free ink to, because just like he knows that anytime i pierce at the shop, all those men are hitting on me, i also know that women will do a lot for those free tattoos. if it was just for the advertisement he wouldn't have to find some stranger when he has a gf willing to do it, although, some tattoo artist are not attracted to women that are covered with tats. i know that sounds odd, but ive heard it many times from artists. jesse knows that him giving tats away to hot little tramps is out of the question and will be an offense that will cause me to walk away. he should be able to listen to u without causing an argument as long as u bring it up calmly and without crying, men don't respond to tears, even if we like to think they do, and i am sorry kim, but if u know that he is not doing u wrong and is not cheating on u than don't worry, and let him do the tats on whoever he wants, its simply more work he has to do...if ur not comfortable with this than there are more trust issues than ur admitting to urself, but u still need to follow ur gut. like i said, i personally believe its a personal respect boundary. i understand that his job is to tattoo pretty girls in private areas, but i will not tolerate him doing this for free, as this tells me its purely enjoyment. if he wants to advertise he can do it on a male friend, or on me. period. but each relationship is different. follow ur instincts. they will lead u down the right path. i will be writing a follow up article soon. thanks all for reading!


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ms jessica marie 4 years ago from middletown ohio Author

A's Girl ok, like i have said, i am not an advice columnist. however, ask urself why this other woman would try and break u up? OTHER than the fact that she "wants" him... since if she wanted him so bad, she wouldn't put herself on his bad side by chasing him in a way that would pretty much make him hate her. if u kno the girl urself, and have had issues with her then she maybe just some trouble maker, out to get u. it does happen, and women are vindictive. there are ways to read the signs my love, the way the text was written, what it says. but what all comes down to, is really if he is a man that you feel u need to go thru his phone in the first place, then he is not the kind of man for u. it seems u are already having trust issues in the relationship, and if he is a tattoo artist, those issues will more than likely get worse before they get better. listen to ur gut


Tatguy 4 years ago

Any guy could be cheating, but I may be able to help. I am a tattooist. I tattoo my gf for free. Tattoos are our advertisements, our billboards. Sometimes a free tattoo is nessecary to get you more work. If your man tattoos only you for free, then he is limiting where his ad can be seen. If he knows a person is someone that goes a lot of places and his ad will be seen by many and net him a better return on investment. I'm reading this because my gf was reading it before I went to work, and I am bucking to get a job at a local shop today. She is extremely jealous and I am afraid she will flip out at the wrong time and get me fired if I do get the job, or hang out there way too much and " wear out her welcome" with the boss.I love her dearly and would not cheat on her. Sex and skinny women are overrated anyways. When I tattoo, I am so close to the area I am working on, it looks like it could be anywhere on the body. My focus is on the art, and making money to have a better life. We are all men and we may think she looks good, but those type of women usually have problems.....big problems. I would rather be with a woman that was with me before I was a full fledged working tattoo artist than someone that came along afterwards. Most women would kill to be with a rockstar but the best woman is the one that starved with a want to be rockstar till he got famous, she will be there when he isn't a rockstar anymore or can't be a rockstar. To her his worst song is a hit, and unless he is an idiot, he knows that and loves her more for it.


kim 4 years ago

Well... sadly he moved out.. he left because I was still bitter about the free tattoos while we were struggling to pay bills. I'm heartbroken... I let my imagination get the best of me and lost my best friend and love.


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ms jessica marie 4 years ago from middletown ohio Author

i am so glad to finally have an artist's voice on this topic, other than my own man! i hear ur problem tatguy, for women who are used to the tatting being done in a place where she is always there, and then to have her man suddenly in a shop is a true change, and eye opener. now WILL be a true test and im sorry tatguy but u should prepare urself for it because she may flip out. best thing i can tell u is when it comes to certain things, like the free tattoos to women, think about what it may LOOK like to ur woman from the outside. even in the most trusting of relationships, women see this as a gift, no matter how u explain it to them, and they will not like it. if u want to give free tats to people for ads, do it on the same sex, and if u really want it to be a woman because u want to do something pretty and fem...then i am sure there are women that ur girl knows, or is in the circle of friends somewhere that she would be comfortable with. just try to keep her in ur mind, as i know with u guys it is hard to keep anything in ur mind but ur work, ur art, and trying to get ur rep. up, but u still need to think about what ur doing and how things will look to ur girl. and ur right, she will overstay her welcome if she constantly hangs around the shop....owners don't like it, and it will make ur female clients quite uncomfortable to have ur gf leering at them. ease her into it tatguy, do some special things for her, remind her how important she is to u while she is trying to get used to the shop, and SHOW her, NOT tell her, SHOW her that she has nothing to fear from u. best of luck on ur new job dear!


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ms jessica marie 4 years ago from middletown ohio Author

i am not trying to be callous kim, but look at it this way; a man who was completely unwilling to compromise on a subject he knew made u extremely uncomfortable, even tho nothing may have happened, he should have at LEAST seen ur side and realized how it looked to u, and been understanding of the way u felt. understanding is very hard, especially for men who usually never got it a lot themselves growing up...understanding and compassion is something that we women hold close...its harder for them. it is not ur fault the relationship ended kim, u should not think it is, it is a mutual street, and he could have understood a little more, just like you.


CLayson 4 years ago

My Botfirend and i


Clayson 4 years ago

My boyfriend who is a tattoo artist, we have been dating for about three years now and it has been awesome but yuck from time to time. Dating someone in this industry is not something everyone can do, i can remember him saying That it was a life style and if you can't hang. you can't hang lol. We are from two different worlds....im in banking so i have all my tats hidden lol....But we Click...On Sunday he moved to Tennessee for a new shop and i reside here in NC. I trust him, but only seeing him on the weekends and then not seeing him at all is very devastating. I can't just pick up and leave and im trying to deal with being alone...and talking to him on the phone. He keeps telling me if i can make it though this it will be worth it but i really hope i can......


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ms jessica marie 4 years ago from middletown ohio Author

Best of luck darlin :)


aanarosey 4 years ago

Very special idea indeed! But I'm caught by the tattoos. Most of these are so wonderful that I have to move on these ;). Thanks for an exclusive view.

http://www.getyourtattoos.com/choosing-the-best-ta...


Shell 4 years ago

I think there should be a group for girlfriends of tattoo artists on Facebook or something. That was we have a way to communicate and bounce thoughts off each other whenever.


shell423 profile image

shell423 4 years ago from California

If anyone is interested in starting a group for tattoo artists girlfriends let me know. I think it could be of use to all of us - lol


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ms jessica marie 4 years ago from middletown ohio Author

darlin if you start a group, i will def. join lol and Aanarosey, thanks so much, i am quite proud of how much talent he has thank u


powrfull 4 years ago

I am a wife of a tattoo artist. We have been married 11 years and together longer. We have 2 kids, and a Business .... This is a lovely article, and yes I agree that we need a FB group to communicate and support each other. I have always supported his work, I understand what comes with it, and that tattooing is FIRST...I know, I live it....But, I am okay with it too...I just found out a couple weeks ago that my H has cheated... and yes it gets very messy..very quick...

I got a random FB message to my personal account saying 'Your husband was tattooing me a few years back and whoops he tripped and fell into my vagina!! Sorry to burst your bubble, But, WOW now that I told you I feel better'....

I had always wondered if he cheated on me with girls from the shop...BTW, I am not a jealous wife, I let him be him, Flirting, Tattooing, what ever it is, it is...

I know they get stalkers, or super fans... it is okay, it happens...

But, this time.....He confessed, He has cheated....He penetrated this Chick... He said he has done other things too, But not penetrated them...

What a Fricken Mess this is.... I am not sure how this will all play out...But, I can say that if you think something is going on....IT most likely is.....


Mari 3 years ago

After reading all of this I know I'm not crazy. I've been dating an artist for bout 5 years and I will say they all cheat, I've seen it all. Ink for pussy!


Mari 3 years ago

Sorry, phone cut off the rest. Yes dating an artist has its challenges, everything you can imagine is tested. Trust, jealousy, communication everything. The thing is, they meet new clients every day, some tats take longer to do and they get to know each other or whatever. These girls could careless if they have a gf or a wife, all they see is free ink. Or discount or whatever. I've also seen so many artist cheat because it's so easy. They all say she's just a client, nothing's going on. If you have a talented artist on your hands than be careful. I love my man with all my heart but somedays I wish he would give it all up, but I know he won't and it would be selfish of me to even ask. I fell in love with him not the art. It just takes a toll on your heart and on your soul to date a man with a needle... If you think he's cheating it's happening. To all artists who can keep it in their pants bravo for being a good man.


Lisa 3 years ago

I'm very spontaneous! Let me start my saying my husband & I got married after 2 weeks of knowing each other. We have now been married 2 months. He used to do tattoos out of the home which was cool cuz he was always with me during the "down" time-now he is in a shop & I can hang out there but I get bored. My only concern is now we have so much less one together and I feel so alone! I hate goin to bed alone; & I work full time day shift! :-( someone give me some helpful advice! I feel like I'm losing my best friend/husband!


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kconner1 3 years ago from Albuquerque, New Mexico

Hope im not too late! I am also a wife of a tattoo artist. I as well enjoyed the article. I really can't relate my issues to my girlfriends or family because there really not in the same possesion as we all may be. I love my husband to the fullest, I am blessed that he is in a career that he is happy in. But there are many times I think to myself, "wow, why did I ever give my consent?" But that is only when I act on my emotions when there is something that has upset me. I too whish there was a way we can communicate as wives with our many issues. I believe it take a special person to be in a relationship with a tattoo artists. There is a lot of give and take. I have ro remember that these customers are paying our bills and that is all. I to at times feel like I cant take anymore. But what is love without a little struggle? Ive been married to him for almost 10 years. Sometime I wonder if im suffocating myself and need to allow myself to live a little.


deja 3 years ago

bf is a tattoo artist and he said he would be mad at me if someone else tattoos me? why is that


shell423 profile image

shell423 3 years ago from California

Alright ladies... I've started one. It's a private group so everything in it will stay within the group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/150560201819286/

and Deja... My man won't allow it either. To them going to someone else is about the equivalent of cheating.


Liz 3 years ago

It has been over two years since I commented here. I am now married to my guy and life just gets better everyday. I have faced a lot of problems in my relationship especially when it came to trust and it was certainly not easy. I had to realize that my love for my guy triumphed over my trust issues. I was tired of getting myself upset over these little tattoo groupies and pushing him further away. It came to a point where I said to him I will trust you till you give me a reason not to. As for the loneliness I now kinda enjoy doing things on my own now when him and I get together the time is that much better and we have a lot more to talk about. It gets better ladies! Just hang in there!!!!


Hayley 2 years ago

Not to mention the weekends away at tattoo conventions


dreamcitysqueen 2 years ago

I absolutely love this! I have been with my tattoo artist for 7 years now, and I couldn't agree more with what you said. Unlike most women, I don't struggle with the typical jealousy issues. I actually understand the industry, and know that every artist is different. On the flip side, I also know that I was once his customer, and that the possibility exists that it might happen again. That's life, but that's life in every relationship. I think it would definitely bother me more if he decided to give free work to a woman for advertisement. I've actually never heard of such a thing, and I've been around many artists. I've heard of "this for that", but never "hey let me sleeve you out for free so people can see my work." Nah.

I can say that the main struggle in my relationship was definitely the time, but with age has come much wisdom and we finally got that hashed out. If I could give any advice to the woman of an artist it would be to get to know the man you're with before jumping to conclusions. All men are different, and all artists do not have the same work ethic. If you have a true artist on your hands, you will know. Also know that the same way you stress about the long nights alone and lack of communication due to their working schedule; they also stress about their woman getting tired of being alone and spending time elsewhere. When I began my relationship, he had been tattooing for only 5 years and had nothing. I was 22, he was 25. Now we have a very successful and beautiful shop and live close to it. It took a lot of growing up on both ends and we will both admit that we are where we are at now because of my diligence in working things out. Being with a tattoo artist and business owner is not for the weak or those who lack confidence, and I say this with all honesty and compassion. If you're not willing to put in work or make some personal sacrifices in order to be the "supportive woman", than its best to move on.

With regards to tattooing for free, I sincerely hope that artists understand that time is money and any time away from your family is definitely worth some money!! If a woman ever told me she was sleeping with my man , my first question would be "did she pay for her tattoos?" LOL I'm very realistic, but I take his time with me seriously and I also take our bills and the business seriously. I do not condone cheating, but I refuse to consume time stressing about it when there are kids to feed and bills to pay. Can I get an Amen?

I wish you all the best and I hope to read more interesting stories. It's nice to have a community of "tattoo wives" to go to, because the reality is not many others understand the struggle!


SamanthaNicole 2 years ago

my boyfriend died 8 years ago and been single and never been in a relationship since then.. until I got my first tattoo.. And falling for "him"( tattoo artist) gradually.. until i got my second tattoo then my third.. I'm falling in love with my tattoo artist. and he didn't know it :( he's single but it seems he didn't notice it.. thinking to confess but Im afraid of the consequences..what shall I do now??..


jeanshelby 2 years ago

The one I had, from what I found out later on cheated in everyone he was ever with. Got him a youngen' within just a few weeks. We were together 2 years. I figure she was in the picture before our split.


cheryl 2 years ago

I've been dating a tattoo artist for several months now,and we are happy. he's just starting in this shop and trying to build up clients and it's rough... There's times it drives me crazy but fact of the matter is I love him so ill stand beside him thru and thru.. it just feels really good to know other girlfriends/wives out there feeling and going thru the same thing... It is hard but at the end of the day it's so worth it...


kcs 2 years ago

I work as a piercist in the same shop as my tattoo artist boyfriend, giiiirrrl. You seem to have been doing this for a while, any tips on how to overcome jealousy?


Kate 15 months ago

Every time I feel down because of my boyfriends job, I always come to this site and read your blog. It always makes me feel better that I'm not the only one who goes through the pain.

It was driving me insane! I was worried about talking about any little matter that got to me because I didn't want him to think I wasn't being supportive, whiny or I was selfish. I held it in for too long (a year and a half) and one day I exploded, revealing everything that made me sad, down to my own insecurities, jealousy and how I felt so alone and unwanted at times.

He couldn't quite understand it all (how insecure I'd become all of a sudden) but I had been like it since he showed me pictures of the tattoos he'd done on hot women's bodies/bums/boobs (as he does everyday) Like I said, I just held in my insecurities and let them build up.

It's hard for him too... he finds it hard to understand because he just loves me so much and doesn't care whose bodies he's touching, I'm his girl. But you know how we are, women's brains think and think and think until we make ourselves upset.

I still get upset at times when I need him and he's not there for me. But I'm learning and it's bad to dwell on negative thoughts. I just treasure the rare time we spend together. I know my man is my partner for life.


Paige 11 months ago

Currently going through this...I love him so much. He's cheated on me, one of them was a client (also his ex though) about 10 months ago. I just found out about all of them a couple months ago (we are currently in a long distance relationship). He's making huge strides in making things work. When I walked away he kind of realized what he lost and vowed to change. But ugh I tell ya, the jealousy is tough. When he tells me he's doing one of those underboob tattoos...I get such an awful feeling after the cheating. He's got one in a couple days actually. I know it's his job and he's only focusing on his art but the jealousy IS tough. Glad to know I'm not the only one. I think one of the hardest things is coming in second. Battling long distance is hard enough but when I don't really get to talk to him much during the day, then he's at the shop all night, it blows. And when he comes up my way for guest spots and he's working the entire time when all I wanna do is spend time with him, ugh! :( But I tell you, I love this guy and I'm blessed that he has turned his life around after the mistakes he made, I know some people aren't so fortunate. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who goes through this. I thought I was alone in battling the ups and downs of dating a tattooist, and a good looking talented one at that. Thank you for writing this! There's really not a lot out there for girls like us to turn to so thank you.


tay 11 months ago

i am in a relationship with a tattoo artist. I don't find it hard at all NOW BUT it was never this easy before.However he knows and understands I'm a woman so if i react to certain stuff its because i have good reason to and plus I'm human too.Trust is a major issue in any relationship to date a tattoo artist you need to have loads of it.But at the end of the day when he comes home his not a tattoo artist his the man i love and i don't mind having to spend my life with him.I guess love itself is always a work in progress.


Kait 6 months ago

Jealousy has no place.

What you guys need to understand is we see the body part as a canvas that is being worked on, not a shapely butt, or a full breast, or great abs.

I save my photos of work and stare at them constantly to find where improvement is needed, not to check the client out.

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