Walking In Central Park With You


Author's Note: this will be the last poem I'm going to be publishing on this site.


I want to walk through Central Park with you

Not as lovers

I’m suddenly too young for that

Now that your distance is far too great.

Even when we were in bed together you were two feet away

But miles out of reach.

That distance was always going to take

The form of a

Straight

Razor

Which you used to cut away your gravity

So you could drift through those waters of the gray seas

Of all your future plans.

Its 11:38 in midtown Manhattan

As I write you this letter

And already my thoughts of you

Have come in on the waves of my fear and trepidation

Which is usually kept at low tide by Prozac.

Your ghost is always white as snow drift

Not in New York where all the snow is black from the passing cars or the latest construction work.

More like Washington St. or Minnesota or Germany

Where they do a better job hiding their excesses.

Its not so unlike being at our apartment on Lehigh St.

Where you needed to be held tightly with your head pressed firmly against by shoulder.

Its true that the taste of coffee was not enough to keep you around.

What time is it where you fade into lightless theaters where all your indignities dance in mockery?

I wanted to watch your movements in the grips of troubled sleep

More than any film noir

Shown 3 in the morning

But you should have known that the body is borrowed and never owned.

It’s a rental with no option to buy.

We are all only visiting.

And where did you think you were going to land

Before being shit out by the wards?

Did you really believe that you were a Saint

Or think that you could tame the ascending wilderness

Which you feared would consume the idol of you name?

When you couldn’t even tame your own perfect skin

Or claim your body as your own.

Those anti-depressants could have tamed your indignities

before you embraced that fateful morning when you reached the end

Of your line.

2

Those flames of the incinerator licked your perfect skin and hair

As your body lay in the shadows of ruin

Which you perfected as an art form

Or a well planned assault.

I still think of the gray dust that replaced your beauty.

Did you think that you were going to get an applause

After your silent exit?

Those flames sent up smoke signals letting us know

That you finally knew when to leave.

That was you’re great escape

To avoid living the encircled life of a shut in.

Rooms after all can become wombs of

Dry wall and concrete if you stay too long.

And The flicker of the television set where you wept

For Doctor Quinn or Touched By An Angel

Became too bright

And your morning was never meant to come.

7 comments

amiebutchko profile image

amiebutchko 2 years ago from Warwick, NY

Really good; filled with pain. My best to you.


word55 profile image

word55 2 years ago from Chicago

Ok maab30, I couldn't help but feel some sympathy here. Why is this your last poem? Where will you go or what will you do from here? Just a little curious otherwise, be blessed!


maab30 profile image

maab30 2 years ago from News And Art From The Left Author

To answer your question word55 I'm going to sell some of my work also I'm working on a 4th manuscript where I'll be using most of my newer works. Finally I'm going to use this site solely for my journalist work.


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 2 years ago

I am going to miss your Poems Maab30, although they are filled with hurt and pain, I just hope wherever you go it is for your financial gain.

Voted up, interesting and shared

Your friend just the same ---Shyron


word55 profile image

word55 2 years ago from Chicago

I like the your answer maab30. I wish you much success. In the meantime, I'll enjoy whatever you publish. Your writings are very good.


maab30 profile image

maab30 2 years ago from News And Art From The Left Author

Hey Shryon: thanks means a lot to me that you and others really like my work. Like I wrote above, I'm going to continue to use this site for my political posts. Next one is coming very soon.

Word 55: Thank you for the well wishes I certainly appreciate it.


maab30 profile image

maab30 2 years ago from News And Art From The Left Author

Here is an updated version of this piece.

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