What's the Score
"Screw off!" the boy screamed as he slammed the door shut behind him, he jogged down the steps still steaming from the fight that seemed to erupt out of now where, same crap different day. He pulls out his cigarettes and lights one up, the feeling of smoke traveling down his throat filling his lungs calms him slightly. He walks for a ways watching the kids play in their front yards as their mothers watch from the windows. He tries to recall a memory where his mother would watch him as he played, non came to mind. It's a bright, hot day the sun comes streaming through the trees hanging over the sidewalk that he walks on. He doesn't know where he's going or what he's doing he's just trying to get away, get away from his family, get away from his life, hell he walks to get away from himself.
He takes another drag and lets the smoke trickle out of his nose. He asks over and over why they can't just accept him for who he is, why can't he accept who he is? He does not yet have the answers to these questions though one day he hopes he might change into a person his parents would be proud to call their son, change into a person that he can consider a decent human being. He keeps walking. He makes it to a near by park and lays on the grass looking at the sky thinking their is no god, because god wouldn't be so cruel as to make his children suffer so. If there really was a god the kid wouldn't have done the things he did to survive in the place he once called home. Still it bothers him, the drugs, the thefts, the people and places he once knew, the fear of walking alone at night, the fear of stalking a kid alone at night. The feeling of making off with money that was not your own.
He whispers so softly that not even he is sure he said it.
"What's the Score?" he doesn't know why he asked it but he knows it has meaning. A shadow covers his face and he tilts his head back to see a man dressed in a dirty white shirt and tattered jeans grinning down at him.
"Depends" the man says " are you winning or losing?"
He sits down on the grass next too me as I ask " What do you mean?"
"You asked what the score was, right? So, do you think you are winning or losing?"
"I'm winning because I'm still breathing." I reply " I did what I had too, you wouldn't understand you don't know me, you haven't lived my life" I can feel my eye's begin to water, I turn my head towards the sky.
"Then why do you hold so much pain and regret in your hurt from your actions?" the man asks " Seems too me your losing in a way. This is the moment you have to ask yourself was saving your self worth this?"
" Of course it was!... right? No, I guess not, what good have I done with my time here? Who else has benefited besides myself? I pushed the ones who cared away, my friends, my family, everyone who ever tried to save me I slammed the door in their face because I was to proud to accept even realize that I needed help. I am a plague to the unfortunate souls I meet." I told the man with tears streaming down my face. " What can I do about it? Please I beg you for some advice that might save me"
"I can only see one exit from the pain you feel." He said in a soft slow tone " End it, let it all go forget who you where and what you've done. Give up. If you can do this then in your eyes you are redeemed."
"Your right" I said in a whisper I looked up at him to thank him for he gave me the answer I searched for for so long, but once my eyes reached where he was he was no longer there. I gasped and stumbled to my feet. Did I dream this? No, no that was no dream that happened, he was there, he existed. I looked towards the street, I stood and watch the cars fly by. I walked to the curb and whispered to myself "It's time, your ready, take a step and be redeemed, give up." as I stepped off the curb I could feel the slight push of a hand on my back I glanced back and saw the man with his hands in his jeans smiling back at me. "Good Luck" he said.
A car slammed into the boy not a second later, he smashed into the windshield and rolled to the ground. As a crowd of people gathered around him as he lay there dying he couldn't stop smiling for he saw what he had been looking for his entire life, an escape. He died there, on that street but he died with a smile looking forward to what comes next.
Life: 1 - Myself: 2