Look at this Puppy's Humorous 'Tail"

The new puppy, Blooper

He was just an adorable dog. From the first time the Smith family saw him, they knew he was the puppy they wanted, but he seemed so clumsy. When they bought the puppy at the Animal Shelter, they had a name picked out for their new dog; Duke. Yet, when they saw him putting his nose in the water dish instead of his tongue to get a sip of water, they couldn't help but laugh. When he did a backwards somersault like a gymnast as he tried to prop himself up in the pen to greet them, they laughed. The Smith family laughed that eerie, screechy laugh all of the Smiths had.(have you ever heard a sick cat wailing at night?)

So they named the puppy Blooper. He had the cutest face on a puppy that you have ever seen. Love at first sight. The Smith twins, Dana and Dana (boy and girl) even gave up their allowances to help buy the dog. The Smiths were very happy with their new dog.

Once they got home, Mr. Smith made a point of showing off his new puppy to his neighbor, Shirley. He did not like Shirley and she did not like Mr. Smith. She accused him of stealing her daily newspaper from her driveway. Mr. Smith took offense. Nothing could be further from the truth. It was: Ridiculous! Why, I can barely read at the Fourth Grade Level, thought Mr Smith.

Blooper's favorite outfit.
Blooper's favorite outfit.

Not a good start

Right from the start, Bloopers' mishaps began. The twin Danas (boy & girl) were excited to show Blooper his new home, but when they sat him down, his rear end slid along the waxed floor and down he went! Then, Blooper ran to his food dish and promptly stuck his nose in the dish, spilling all that moist,soft Alpo dog food out onto the freshly waxed floor. When boy Dana tried to give Booper his new squeaky toy, he got scared instead and ran through the carpeted living room, tracking his mushy food covered paw prints on the Smith's white carpeting.

Unfortunately. Blooper instantly learned to like chewing on wood. So, he chewed all the woodwork, table legs, chair legs and even Mr.Smith’s after market wooden left leg. The Dana twins and Mrs. Smith yelled at the dog all the time. Mr. Smith felt bad for Blooper and refused to yell . He quickly became depressed and whined all the time…Blooper that is, not Mr. Smith. He even tried to run away from home…again, Blooper, not Mr. Smith. Mealtimes had become a nightmare. He’d gobble his food without even chewing it first and spit out on the floor what he didn’t like…now I mean Mr. Smith. The tension in that dysfunctional home was growing by leaps and bounds.

Blooper's bad influence pal.
Blooper's bad influence pal.

Bad day for Blooper

So, one fateful day, everything started out sane and normal, like every other day. Mr. Smith was in the kitchen. Girl Dana was taking Blooper out for his morning constitutional, Blooper clumsily trampling Shirley's(the neighbor) flowers along the walkway. While Dana was expertly stealing the neighbor’s newspaper, she let go of the leash and Blooper ran around the back. He heard Mrs.Smith yelling at Mr. Smith to hurry and finish eating or she’d give his breakfast to the dog. (Fine with Blooper, he loved pop tarts).

That's when Mr. Smith thought that enough was enough. He could put up with the food stained white carpet, the chewed up wooden furniture legs, even his dog damaged after market fake wooden leg. But, losing his beloved Pop Tarts to the dog? Sadly, this dog had to go back to the shelter. Mr. Smith ushered the Dana twins to the station wagon to take them to school and Blooper cheerfully ran ahead. After another quick leak on Shirley's flowers,into the car they went. Why does Shirley make that fist at us when she waves goodbye, Blooper wondered.

All's well that ends well!

His tail sank slowly, along with his heart. Hundreds of questions raced through his mind. Why me? When did they decide? How can I change their minds? What is that funny smell? ..(oh right; Mr Smith's slobbered wooden leg) Did Mr. Smith remember to record Lassie? Then he realized Mr. Smith had left. Just that lady was left, looking down at him. Where was she taking me? What are all these dogs doing in this room of cages? Help ! Somebody help me !

But suddenly, Blooper heard the familiar sound of Mr. Smith’s distinctive walk thudding down the hall. He was trying not to become too hopeful. Then he heard a big boom! That darned wooden leg ; Mr. Smith fell again. Sure enough, the door to the room of cages flew open and there stood Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith had changed his mind. He'd start eating Lil' Debbie snack cakes for breakfast and let Blooper have those pop-tarts!

So, Blooper was back home. Mr. Smith just had to smile,after putting his teeth in first. The Dana twins were fighting over who would read the comics from Shirley's stolen newspaper. Shirley was outside spraying her flowers with some kind of repellant. They were all back together again. It may not be the best "fairy-tail" ending, but Blooper wants to leave you with this...Never take your pet dog to a 'flea' market!


Beginning of the end

Mr. Smith knew what came next would be the hardest thing that he would ever have to do. Just the thought of this turned his stomach. Yet,he had no choice... he had to turn left on Main Street, there was no other way. As he sat there cursing, he though he saw an opening! An oncoming car came to a screeching halt as Mr. Smith bolted out onto Main Street. Blooper thought it odd that two perfect strangers could strike up a conversation so quickly, but why don’t they just open the windows to talk instead of yelling at each other so loud?

Blooper had no idea what lied ahead. Then he saw the sign on the building and wondered why Mr. Smith was pulling in. "Animal Shelter." Into the white brick building they went. Blooper watched as the lady behind the desk talked with Mr. Smith. He heard his name, Blooper, being said many times. Surely this couldn't be good. Blooper wasn’t sure why he thought of Shirley just then. OR, are Shirley and surely not one and the same?

Then as Blooper watched Mr. Smith started to write on a paper form the lady gave him, reality started to set in. He felt alone. No one wanted him. Heck, he didn’t even lick the faces of those two kids with the same name today.

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